when to tell her about hsv-1

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by metalfan111, Sep 30, 2006.

  1. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    I have oral HSV-1, I know its very common, but I have it bad. I get 2-3 outbreaks a month, each lasting about 7-10 days and they are hell. I'm on medication for it (valtrex). My doc said my outbreaks are proably the worse he has seen in a looong time.

    all this shit is really depressing me because I want to get a gf but this shit gets in the way. i cant kiss her, share a drink with her, nothing that involves the mouth. When do I tell a girl I have it? If you have any other advice about this situtation, i'd love to hear it.

    UPDATE: Heres some more news. I've been on Valtrex since the outbreaks got really bad, about 4 months ago. I've been having some problems, such as being extrememly tired and my doctor thinks the medicine is most likely making me anemic. So now I have to go in and get a lot of bloodwork done. This just figures. I take a medicine to help one condition, and then it gives me another.

    Update2: Went to the doctors today. He is taking me off the medication so I won't have anythhing to use during my outbreaks. He said about girlfriends and stuff, just act like you don't have it. But when I have an outbreak, don't kiss her. So he is telling me not to tell anyone about it and just avoid contact during an outbreak. I had to take a urine test today to check for kidney problems or diabetes. Both were negative. Blood tests are probably tommorrow.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 5, 2006
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    wow, that sucks...

    I dunno, but it sounds like you'd have to tell her before the kissing stage gets developed.

    Pretty sure there's gonna be no easy way to tell someone that.

    How'd you get it?
     
  3. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest


    That is what pisses me off, I have no idea how I got it. I'm 17, I've never had a GF and never kissed a girl. The doctor says its very easy to catch, as easy as catching a cold. It's so fucking frustrating that I just want to kill myself. I can never go out with women, my lips look and feel like shit and its ruining my life.
     
  4. AdminUser

    AdminUser OT Supporter

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    sorry to hear that man. try several different doctors and get their opinions on whats the best medication.
     
  5. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    I got the best medication available on the market according to my doctor, i fucking hate my life
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    how frequent are the outbreaks? Can you not kiss and such only while having an outbreak.

    Don't hate your life. People have led happy lives with worse conditions, you can do it.

    Think of it this way...would you rather have cancer? AIDS?
     
  7. AdminUser

    AdminUser OT Supporter

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    exactly, you are very fortunate in many ways.

    also, i wouldnt bring it up on the first date. wait a bit, bring it up when things are starting to get serious.

    i know this sounds very rude, but see what sort of reactions you get after you tell girls you have hsv-1, if they all bail out, then you have no choice but to not tell them.

    dont quote me on this.
     
  8. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    I get cold soars too. I know it is frustrating. I dont get them as much as you but I still know how much it sucks. I got it from another family member when I was a little girl. I use Zovirax. Its an ointment that you put directly on it. You could of possibly even gotten it from using someones chapstick. It doesnt just spread to someone when you do not have a sign of one. In high school it was the most humiliating because people are so immature about it and are teasing about it. I sometimes refused to go to school. My bf didnt know I had them until I got one and said I couldnt kiss him, he asked what was on my lip and I told him. It doesnt matter to him, we are just careful when I have one. When you are out in the sun where lip protectent chapstick, and try not getting stressed out. Both of those could make symptoms occur. It will be okay, if the girl likes you she wont care that you have one. It sounds better to say "cold soar" than herpes simplex 1or 2 whichever it is. I know people are immature about it but thats how you have to look at it, as them being immature. You and mature people will know its not sexually transmitted and if it was there would be nothign you could do about it anyway. Yes we are going to live with this for the rest of our lives and just need to adapt to it. It could be worse.
     
  9. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    This may sound off, but maybe go to a support forum for people in your situaition. im sure there are women going through somthing similar.
     
  10. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    I'll just fill you girls and guys in on some of the symtomms I have. My lips get swollen as shit, get really really bright red, clear shit slowly comes out of my lips, then my lips crust over, my lips get all tingley and hurt to touch. it hurts to eat, talk and even smile and take a shower. the water hitting my lips hurts like a motherfucker. i get extrememly tired during the outbreaks and it makes me not want to do anything, just sit at home and watch tv by myself. this does not happen on one part of my lips, it happens on my entire lips. the only weird thing is, I don't get cold sores. I got one cold sore during my second outbreak that lasted like 2 hours, but nothing since then, but those other symptoms are fucking worse. each outbreak lasts 7-10 days even with the medication.

    I cannot kiss or anything during my outbreaks. Even if I don't have an outbreak for like a week, what am I suppose to tell the gf when the outbreak starts up again? It makes everything so fucking complicated
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 1, 2006
  11. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    WoW that sucks. Now if she got it would it be as bad or is it just your bodies reaction to it?
     
  12. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    it depends on how her body reacts to it. i guess my immune system sucks so the outbreaks keep coming back and bad. she could get it and not have an outbreak for 10 years, it all depends on her body. im just worried about like if i ate her out and gave her herpes down there, or if i kissed her, gave her oral herpes, then she gives me head and i get herpes down there
     
  13. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    About 2 months ago, it spreaded to my right index finger so now I am always getting these disgusting bumps on my finger. It doesnt itch or anything, but it looks nasty
     
  14. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    Hmm...I didnt know this was possible, weird. And this is the only possible thing it is. The doctor didnt say it could possible be something else. I have never heard of this. I guess I am going to learn some more about it. I do know people get cold soars all across their lips but I have never heard of this...I am gunna go read about it now.
     
  15. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    It's true, you can get a cold sore literally anywhere. It is the most common that people get them on their lips, but that is not the only place it's possible.

    To the threadstarter. I've had coldsores since I was 2 years old (I have a cousin to thank for them). Thankfully though I don't get them as bad as you. I really think you need to tell the girl that you have them before you kiss her for the first time. Remember that 80% of the population carries the virus though. You can always direct her to some websites to help educate her. Remember that you CAN pass them on while you don't have a sore, so it is important to tell her before you kiss even if you don't have a sore. Good luck :hs:
     
  16. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    So if she leans to me to try to kiss me, I'll have to stop her, god this is gonna be so embarrassing
     
  17. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    What did you want us to say? That oh just kiss the girl talk after?

    We all have obsticals in life it completey sucks ass, for me I'm a decently short male and at times it competely kills me.

    You have to learn how to get around it, I would suggest a new doctor or a few doctor's opinions.

    The more you stress / worry about this the more it will come back, and are you sure this is HSV-1? I'm more commonoly in touch with cold sores being it. You could possibly carry HSV-2 which can infect the mouth and be brutal. Like I said, I'd really suggest more doctors/dermotologist perhaps as well.

    Best of luck, dont let not having a woman ruin your life, while it sucks women arn't everything there is to life it may seem like it at the time but find yourself a good education/job/lifestyle and a fun hobby and you'll stress less and be a more happy individual.
     
  18. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Why not have a mature conversation about it BEFORE she tries kissing you? I'm not saying it should be the first thing out of your mouth when you meet a girl, but she deserves to know.
     
  19. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    It's going to be hard to have a mature conversation with another girl my age. She will think its disgusting and say she can't see me anymore, and probably tell all her friends about it, but I guess that is the only option.
     
  20. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    You're the one that is 17 correct and have posted numerous times about this topic?

    Partial I think for your age you're trying desperatly too hard, until I even started college women were the last of my concern because A) I knew highschool was about being a hot man whore for the most part and B) I really had no interest in drama.

    Improve your life, worry about women later, you're not going to be happy if you have a GF if you dont fix your life up first. How you do that I cannot help to say.
     
  21. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    Tell her about it before any kissing happens, it's not fair on her to expose her to cold sores and tell her after the fact.

    Refer to them as "cold sores" not "herpes" or "oral herpes" - as already mentioned about 80% of the adult population carries the virus and many people only get a cold sore once in a blue moon or not at all. As soon as you mention "herpes" people freak out and assume you mean the genital variety.

    And if she runs away screaming, she was immature and a waste of time anyway.

    Sounds like you are affected really badly by it though! :(
     
  22. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    I'm happy with my life right now. I like my friends and everything. The only thing I don't like about it is the herpes. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have problem with girls. I don't see anything I need to improve about my life now. I've improved everything that needed to be improved. I just hate it how I'm at a party or something and I can't even kiss a girl there. Whatever, I guess I'll just wait until college and hope they are mature there.

    Kinks, that is a good idea to refer to it as cold sores and hot herpes, I'll definitely use that advice when I meet a girl
     
  23. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i get cold sores every now and again, so i guess i have oral herpes, and i dont tell any girl before i kiss her.

    dont know if this helps at all.
     
  24. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS!! Only a complete asshole would expose someone to something that bad without telling them.
     
  25. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    have you given a girl oral sex before?
     

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