When to say "I love you"?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Maffy29, Sep 10, 2007.

  1. Maffy29

    Maffy29 Active Member

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    So this friend of mine insists on asking me for relationship advice. She lives in Denver and is in a long distance relationship with a guy in San Francisco. She's known this guy for a long time and they finally decided to get together. So she wants to tell him she loves him and is asking me if she should do it over the phone. Is that acceptable? Or should she wait until she goes out there again (in November)?

    I think she should wait. This is along the same lines as breaking up with somebody. Best to do it face to face.

    What dos the Vag think?
     
  2. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I think that they should wait. You should only be saying that to each other AFTER youve spent a good amount of time together in person, and actually know you truley love that person.
     
  3. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    he should tell her that he loves her at 4:03 PM next wednesday ON THE DOT, or else he will mess everything up forever
     
  4. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    i think she should say it in person only because it seems like it'll mean more and it would be nice for her to see a reaction from him
     
  5. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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  6. scent of a wookie

    scent of a wookie OT Supporter

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    I'd wait to actually meet the person before I told them I love them, just a thought
     
  7. keysmachine

    keysmachine New Member

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    honestly when you have a connection you have a connection. i'd defenitly wait till they met in person first. But it really all depends on how long they've known each other and what level there on right now.

    long distance relationships never work out for two simple reasons.

    1. its long distance
    2. there's no "closeness" or one on one interactions.
     
  8. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I would never say "I love you" for the first time over the phone. I can understand her maybe wanting to shout it to the world....but it has to feel more special to say it in person, and as someone else said, see their reaction.
     
  10. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I've done a long distance thing before.. saying I love you on the phone for the first time is a bad idea. It will create weird emotions when the two see each other in person. I say wait... and try and find a non long-distance relationship.
     
  11. keysmachine

    keysmachine New Member

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    :ugh2: tell that to the men and women of the world who ran for the hills after dateing/knowing the person for a few weeks to a month and all the sudden the "L word" was popped.

    yeah.. not only is that pretty scary but that person who's all the sudden "in love" is pretty damn desperate.
     
  12. keysmachine

    keysmachine New Member

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    love is a deep connection with another person being in love and in lust are two totally different things although they share the same exact attributes it takes time for an emotional connection to form.

    anybody that forms an emotional connection after just a few weeks or months has serious mental problems when it comes to attachment. More than likely they have deep seeded issues with abandonment and a list of other lesser forms of instability.

    I'm not saying don't ever say it.. but you can kinda gauge when the other person feels the same and nothings worse then saying i love you to a person and them going "yeah you to."
     
  13. keysmachine

    keysmachine New Member

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    no after a few weeks your in lust with a person. I'm not claiming to know how an emotional attachment forms in one's head but from my own experience in my apprenticeship. These feelings can't form in any way that could possibly result in a good outcome. its just not natural.

    unfortunately those times are dead and women these days are conditioned to play a few games before dropping them and settling down. I think it would be safe to assume that once the games stop it would be OK to say it but not right. honestly love shouldn't even be used until at least 3 or 4 months into the relationship.
     
  14. keysmachine

    keysmachine New Member

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    well we could debate and further hijack this thread :rofl: but honestly i've seen nothing good out of a man or women telling there SO's that they love them after a few weeks of even knowing them.

    to me that's to soon you don't even know the person in that short time. that's all i'm saying about that. Me personally i've never said i love you first. I normally let the girl say it. But none of them said it short of 6 months to a year.
     
  15. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    :ugh2: we're talking about people who are in a serious relationship. if you say "i love you" in that situation, then they are almost always going to take it as serious love. if you tell someone you just met that you love them, their response will be some combo of :mamoru: and :hsugh:. if you tell a friend you love them they will be like :hug:. it's not the same!

    love IS something special, and personally i don't throw the word around because when i ACTUALLY love someone, and i want to express that to them, i want it to be special.
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    No offense, but most people believe that because they haven't been hurt like you....don't ruin their views though. Apparently you have to let people experience things for themselves.
     
  17. keysmachine

    keysmachine New Member

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    i'm feelin it right now.. i love you
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I agree with you man, trust me on that. I'm all for saying it when you feel it, I agree though that I would never want to say it for the first time over the phone, it just doesn't feel as special-but telling people it shouldn't be that special will never work.

    PS-I'm glad you aren't one of those really really bitter guys
     
  19. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    these are all of our opinions, just because he reads them, doesn't mean he's going to use it
     

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