SRS When do you feel "grown up"?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by mestizo, Feb 1, 2008.

  1. mestizo

    mestizo New Member

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    I'm 23 yo engineering senior graduating in May. I have a full time job set up and will probably be buying a house this summer/fall.

    That being said, I don't feel grown up at all. My mom still pays most of my bills like auto insurance, property tax, etc. Its not that I can't pay the bills or that there are a lot of them, but we just never made that transition to me paying them.

    I feel 10 years younger than I really am on a maturity level. I catch myself acting like a kid A LOT and it really bothers me. This happens just hanging out with friends, when we go out drinking, whatever.

    I don't like this - I don't feel like a grown man, I still feel like a boy. I'm not looking forward to starting a 9-5 and life in a separate city with my current outlook.

    Any tips from some of OT's more independent, grown up, wise beyond their years crew? Do you known anyone else like this?
     
  2. maverick514

    maverick514 New Member

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    I feel exactly the way you feel man. I'm in pretty much the same boat as you, graduating this May with a job lined up starting in the summer and although I'm pretty sure I can pay off the bills I've never really been truly independent. I don't even know how to do my own taxes and I have never paid a bill other than credit card. I think growing up will be a lot like going to college though, where you're unsure of what's going to happen but you'll figure it out eventually.
     
  3. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    I felt this way until I had more responsibilities dumped in my lap. I still don't pay any of my major bills because I'm still technically in school, but having to make decision impacted someone's well being and health were an eye opener to me. Not to mention I was now faced with decisions of going out or catching up on reading/school work.. unlike undergrad, I found out real fast that decision #1 is the one to make. That's what it took for me to feel more "grown up", everyone's different though.
     
  4. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    when you got your own job and own house
     
  5. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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  6. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    I've always been told I'm mature beyond my years but I still feel the same today at 33 as I did when I was 7 years old (save for a few gray hairs and body aches when I get up in the morning :rofl: ).

    But the day that made me feel grown up, and like a new person, was in April 2003 when I signed papers for my own house. After that day I dropped all my stupid crap- like dumping money into my car, shopping for the sake of spending money, and other wasteful things I was doing. 5 months later I got married, and I think that sealed the deal on me "officially" feeling like an adult.


    I still feel like a kid sometimes...until I sit down to pay bills or make a major financial decision :big grin:
     
  7. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

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    never :dunno:

    i'm mature, responsible and have been supporting myself since i turned 18. i have my own place, am financially stable, etc., but i don't consider myself a "grown up" (i do consider myself an adult though). i still do my best to hold on to my child-like enthusiasm for life and enjoy activities that you would normally see only children engage in*. that being said, for me, it's a matter of recognizing situations. some situations call for a serious approach, while others don't. if i don't have to be serious, then I won't be.

    if anything, i associate it with a state of mind moreso than certain actions and behaviors. i know that i am able to take care of myself, which gives me the freedom to just let go and be a kid again, so to speak.

    take more ownership of your own life. once you feel the reigns in your hands and that you can guide it wherever and however you want, then you'll be a "grown up". children can't take care of themselves, adults can.





    *not in some weird michael jackson neverland type of mindstate.
     
  8. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I thought about this a little bit on my most recent vacation.

    I've been financially independent for like 9 years. I've been running a federal grant program going on 3 years now. I just went to the damn wine country on vacation while a friend was married, which I think is pretty "adult." My friends and I joked about things like someone's GF tugging on her bf's butthair. We then took a tour at the Jelly Belly jelly bean factory, bought $80 worth of beans, hopped in the photobooth after throwing some children out of the way, adulterated the jelly belly statue guy, and at one point we were laughing so hard all 4 were in tears. We then had a genuinely awesome time with other adults and wine connoisseurs in tasting rooms at vineyards.
    I remember when the guy dating my mother when I was like 12 years old had me "go long" in the grocery store and heaved the bread like a football game. They've been married 17 years and still do the same shit.

    I think you become an adult when you stop doing shit like being irresponsible. I'll always have a fucked up, childish sense of humor. I'm almost 27 years old and I still laugh at my own farts...often...well every time.
     
  9. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    :rofl:


    so does my husband - he's 30!
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    "Grown-up" communicates negative connotations to me.

    How about this. Do you feel like a man?

    I feel like a man. I feel like a boy too (i.e. "find yourself a nice boy" could apply to me, in my mind). They don't contradict. People are always children in some ways; men are always boys, and women are always girls.

    What does it matter whether you feel childish or adultlike, anyhow?

    It only matters to me if it interferes with my ability to get respect.
     
  11. AlohaRacing

    AlohaRacing Freak that bitch out

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    When I became financially independent.
    I don't feel more "grown up" now compared to when I was 17 in high school. I think I have the same mentality deep down, but with time matured to the point where certain situations require a certain level of thought before taking action.
     
  12. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    i dont wanna grow up. i'm a toys r us kid :wiggle:
     
  13. Matt550

    Matt550 New Member

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    Im almost 30 :wtc: And I dont feel grown up at all. Ive been paying all bills since I was 16. Ive got my own place, decent job. I love nothing more than hanging out with friends playing video games all night, sure the wives and girlfriends get pissed, but its fun.
     
  14. Matt550

    Matt550 New Member

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    .
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    When you actually have grown up :hsugh:

    i.e. Live and pay for yourself while no longer doing mostly immature acts. But that's all relative, isn't it?
     
  16. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

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    :rofl: i was actually thinking about including that in my post.
     
  17. TehMarko

    TehMarko The Course of Natural Life...

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    summed it up perfectly. i don't ever want to fit the stereotype of a 'grown up'...
     
  18. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    Boys still gotta be boys :hug:

    I don't have many female friends (too much drama) so anytime my hubby has his friends over for video game night I take advantage of that "free" time for me to catch up on filing or other work in the home office. Sometimes I feel a bit :hs: because I wish I had a group of girlfriends to hang with, but I don't consider husband-bashing over coffee or "retail therapy" as quality hang out time...I guess I'm weird!
     
  19. SixSecrets

    SixSecrets New Member

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    When will I feel "grown-up"?

    Never! :)
     
  20. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    I'm Peter Pan in spirit
     
  21. Boosh Dag

    Boosh Dag Guest

    YEah I'm 23 and in the same boat as you, but I've succumbed to the fact that I'm always going to feel like a kid and that thought, "one day I'm going to be a grown up" is a myth.


    So maybe being a grown up is finally realizing your never really going to grow up.
     
  22. nitemare2112

    nitemare2112 New Member

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    being "grown up" is just a another way of saying responsible adult. when you can make ur own decisions, pay all your own bills, have a place to live, etc. thats when you are "grown up".
    as a kid I always looked at older people like parents as very responsible and having thier shit together(prob b/c of the impression my grandfather put on me). but around 12-14 i realized that most "grown up" people are no more mature then i was at 8, in fact they have the same probs and arguments as little kids.(i've always been sort of mature for my age :p).
    That all being said, I love goin out drinkin, partying, and doing all sorts of random things with friends, but that doesn't mean i am irresponsible. I think you should always be yourself and have fun. Once i can do all that and pay all my bills/live alone, that is how I will know that I am "grown up".
    ( I don't ever want to feel grown up b/c that means your old hehe)
     
  23. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    When you get old you don't stop laughing and having fun.

    You get old because you stop laughing and having fun.

    I just turned 40 last year and very often, I feel like I'm early 20s in maturity. Other times, I force myself to act more mature. I have noticed that somewhere along the way, I stopped doing some things that really used to annoy some people.....but I'm not perfect and sometimes that old behavior comes up again. I just remind myself I don't want to be "that kind of guy" and try to do better next time.

    My mom is 77 and she talks about feeling 40. In fact, she's more active than most 40 year olds. That woman is always on the go and it's great to see. She's buried 2 husbands and one son and while she misses them terribly, she doesn't allow those events to keep her from living her life.

    My point....enjoy life and stop worrying about becoming a grown up. Nobody likes them anyways.
     
  24. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    i don't feel like one

    don't think i will til i'm out on my own and paying all my bills myself.

    or until i'm married with children
     
  25. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    :rofl::rofl::rofl: My best friend and I said the same thing growing up too.

    Except now, we both live on our own and pay all our own bills...

    It was just her and I there at the hospital when her daughter (my Goddaughter) was born, her husband was deployed...

    Now she's divorced and we're raising her 3 year old...

    I've been in a serious relationship for almost 5 years...

    Guess what? NEITHER OF US FEEL LIKE ADULTS. :rofl::rofl::rofl:

    (maybe when I'm 30 and own my own house... maybe then :mamoru:)
     

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