SRS What's with women?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Kerberos, Apr 14, 2006.

  1. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2005
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal
    First of all, I don't even know why I'm writing this thread. It could either be that I want people to tell me I'm write, I want people to sympathize with me, I want to be right, or maybe I just want to type out the situation in order to better understand and analyze it.

    Ok, so it's a group project that I had to work on as part of my software engineering program. The project consisted of developing a task manager. We were developing this thing in a group of 6. We started out with a group of 5 but we were forced to have another guy on our team. So, our team consisted of me, the emotionally fucked up guy with the long hair who's almost emo yet has the best GPA in the program and people think I'm an arrogant jerk. Then I was with my friend, or maybe I should say ex-friend, let's call him Jeff. He's an Asian dude who sucks up to everyone a bit too much. Then there was this girl, let's call her Dorothy. She's some Asian girl that draws vampire pictures all the time in class and that seems totally fucked up and doesn't talk to anyone. My friend Jeff, for some reason, sucked up to her so much and sexually harassed her so much that he managed to turn her into a bitch. He then learned that she was a lesbian and then proceeded to continue harassing her nevertheless. Then there's this other girl on our team. Let's call her Hilary. I've had a bit of a conflict with this Hilary before this semester started. I'll explain shortly. SHe is however a very horrible bitch. Then there was this Sri Lanka dude, let's call his Samir cause he reminds me so much of the office space character. He's a very cool dude, but he's always working. Then there was the dude that was thrust onto us since no one else wanted him and the dumbass tutor decided that we should have to endure him.

    Ok, so now, this girl Hilary, who's a total bitch. This is what happened before the semester. She wanted to create some student society. So, being a total idiot, I joined the society. however, she turned out into a total bitch and claimed taht being the president and us only being the vice-president she basically had the right to tell us what to do and we had absolutely no say. We'd have a democratic vote and then she'd just veto whatever we said because she was the president. She also had and still has the most arrogant and self-sufficient air that I've ever seen in a person. So I quit the society after a few days and she stayed mad at me forever because of that.

    So basically, everything started out not bad in the project. The project was separated into two iterations. I wanted to have everyone in the group do everything but the others wanted to separate the group into two separate groups for development and documentation. I reluctantly agreed adn thus it began. I paired up with my friend Jeff and we started coding the thing. So we coded our asses off for 1 month straight and ended up with some product by the skin of our teeth. I worked 150 hours on this iteration and my friend Jeff worked about as much though he caught a flu halfway through and missed a few days. We'd basically start early in the morning coding and wouldn't leave school until 11pm every day working on this stuff. The girls, meanwhile, were doing documentation. Easy stuff I might add. Nothing complicated. They basically refused to help us with the coding on the pretext that they had to do documents and even when they were finished wouldn't even help us out. Samir, meanwhile, was supposed to work on testing but he was working like 40 hours a week as well as taking a full course load so that didn't end up very well. The other guy, we saw him briefly at a meeting.

    So yeah, we ended up the first iteration with a crappy user interface for our program and something not quite working quite well. Dorothy got mad at us because we only got an A for that iteration because of the coding.

    So yeah, second iteration, they were supposed to do the coding and we were supposed to lay back and do teh documentation. SO what happened was taht Dorothy decided taht she had a huge project that was more important than that and the bitchiest girl, Hilary, also had a project to do so she didn't do anything on the project. (Turns out, Hilary's partner for the other project also claimed that she couldn't do anything for his project because of our own project, this sounds like a case of a kid telling two parents that he'll be at the other parent's place). So yeah, me and Jeff got stuck coding everything until the end of the project. The Hilary girl ended up only messing our project by adding weird colours to it all the time or breaking our functionality. The other girl Dorothy decided at one point that she was mad at me. Not that she'd tell me, she just did the girl thing of being mad (god I hate working with girls).

    So me and Jeff coded the whole thing (I spent over 300 hours on the project in all, he must have spent at last 250) and then I had to also finish up the documentation on the last day and fix all bugs that those girls had introduced while Jeff was trying to make up as many test cases as possible in one day. Meanwhile, Dorothy was pretending to work or was just chatting with friends and when I'd tell her to do something she'd say that she has documents to review. The other girl meanwhile, was bitching at me for having ruined the formatting that she had applied to something. I basically put my headphones on and waited for her to go away. Through some heroic effort, me and jeff managed to get the whole thing working. We then did our demo, the professor complemented our UI (which I had done almost entirely yet Dorothy managed to take credit for doing).

    Then next day, I learn that Dorothy was mad at me because I had snapped a few times under the stress and pressure of the project and that she would join another team for next year. Not that I cared taht much but that pretty much means taht I'll be losing my friend Jeff. He told me that he'd be with me if I could build some good team for next year but I could see taht he only wants to be again with this bitch's team next year.

    So, the overall picture is that I did most of the work because everyone else was so lazy, I managed to get them all an A+ yet they all abandon me because I snapped at times when I was extremely tired, had the flu and was burnt out yet continued working. I managed to get into another group for next year. They'll probably be a much better group than I had this year and most importantly there are no girls on this team. So, what I learned in that project is that people don't want you to work hard in groups, they want you smile at them and tell them how good they are and wipe their asses while at the same time also do all the work. Well, not really everyone, it's just girls that are like that. Since there are so few of them in the software engineering program and tehy have so many guys eager to please them anyway they want, they just become bitches and my best friend is the guy that sucks up most to those bitches while I treat them exactly like I treat other guys.

    BTW, this is not the only time that I've had some girls bitching at me. At my last workplace where I was working as an intern, everyone loved me except this woman who probably had something stuck up her ass or something. Because I had long hair and I have a pretty laid back attitude, she kept harassing me, asking me constantly if I didn't like the job, and then she'd give me motives saying that I thought I was too good for this job etc and that I didn't apply myself. All this despite the fact that my real boss was impressed with my work and that I even got a letter from a boss 3 levels up complimenting my work. Also, all my other coworkers seemed to appreciate me and I got a lot of positive reviews from them.

    Bah, I don't know if any of this is a question of a comment or whatever, but please respond and give me some feedback. Is there somethign wrong with me, am I doing something wrong?
     
  2. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2003
    Messages:
    265,131
    Likes Received:
    143
    Location:
    Pearland, Texas
    Sounds like the stress is getting to everyone.
     
  3. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I don't see what the story has to do with women.
     
  4. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    :ugh: "My friend Jeff, for some reason, sucked up to her so much and sexually harassed her so much that he managed to turn her into a bitch. He then learned that she was a lesbian and then proceeded to continue harassing her nevertheless. "

    Yeah, I'd really want to work on your team and be friendly also.
    I agree with DiggityDogg though, I don't see what it has to do with women either.
     
  5. teo

    teo . => ? => !

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Messages:
    3,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Eh?
    It's not that they're girls. It's people that aren't pulling their weight. You do have to learn to appeal to most people when working in a team, but not to the extent of doing their work for them. Next time, you can choose what to do: establish clear task outlines, deadlines and boundaries (you did a Gantt chart, right?). Establish what will happen when deadlines aren't met. The prof probably wouldn't care if you told him because it's your job to work together, not his to chaperone/mediate you; however, if someone is not doing anything at all you should be able to bring that to his attention. The people who don't do the work often don't do well on the final, either.
     
  6. MudFlap

    MudFlap Guest

    Yeah I went through the same thing in college. Some girls know that with a smile and some BS they will have all the other dudes in the team pulling their weight.

    Your problem is communication. Evaluate who is good at what and divy up the task at the first meeting and dont take no for the answer.
     
  7. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2005
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal
    It's more to do with women at our school or in places in general where there are way more men then women. What happens is that all the nerdy guys hit on them non-stop and then together all want to be their best friends because they are girls. Then the women all think they are superior to all those guys and take the attitude of "if this guy doesn't agree 100% with what I say and suck up to me then I will just go work with some other guy next time who will think I'm god and will do all my work." Also, when there are any conflicts, girls tend to just start throwing jabs at you, speak behind your back with everyone and not even want to talk about it. When me and any other guys usually have conflicts, we just talk it out and settle it right there. This has brought some of my classmates to remark that girls don't belong in software engineering. I, meanwhile, have learned to stay away from them. It's not girls in general that are bad, it's girls with a falsely inflated perception of themselves.
     
  8. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    If they are acting superior it is because the guys are kissing their asses. Those kiss ass guys will never get anywhere with these girls, because girls lose respect for these guys quick. Even if one happens to get lucky, it won't work out in the end because the girl will use him and search for the alpha male behind his back.

    If a girl says something and you disagree with it, then disagree with it. They may get snotty with you but who cares! You have standards and opinions too and if they can't handle that then they aren't worth knowing anyway.
     
  9. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    that mentality goes away with time (eventually, not pulling your own weight catches up with you). those girls drop out, and the ones that stay want to be there and will be effective team members. dont let this experience jade you on future team projects. if you dont like working in groups, get out of engineering.

    youre issue is communication. engineering isnt that hard, its working with other people with that personality type. :hs:

    you dont have a clear hiararchy, and job designations. as for the problem desputes... thats just how some people are. you seemed really negitive going into the project (you had theses ideas about these peoples personalities already in place...had you even worked in groups with them before or was this all first impressions from seeing them in class w/o even talking to them?)

    to a certain extent, girls have to know thier shit even better than guys, cause they have more to prove.
     
  10. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2005
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal
    Well "Dorothy" had been one of my best friends for much of first year and the second year of software engineering. The second girl, I was always on good terms with until this year: we even went to eat dinner together at times. Dorothy had always been a very shy girl who never talked and would draw all the time that is until this year. The second girl seemed like a shy girl in the first year. However, as time went by, she started dating a guy in our program. Then she got a job at Best Buy as a small boss and from that point on she started thinking she was our boss.

    From what I understand though, women that I've worked in this program are so organized and scheduled and what not. I go well with those girls on a non-professional level. However, I am a laid back guy and a bit arrogant. Not laid back as not doing any work: laid back as in I don't seem to care about the project, however, when it comes time to work I'm the hardest worker there is. That seems to be the thing that girls I've worked with seem to hate. Most guys, on the other hand, really appreciate working with me for that exact reason and I'm respected by most guys because of that: I'm cool under pressure and I get the job done. The girls I've worked with, on the other hand, seem to believe that it's wrong to be cool or laid back.

    BTW, for those wondering, I've received a distinguished entrance scholarship for my program and I've been on the Dean's list for all the past 2 years (working on my 3rd appearance on the Dean's list). I have a 4.04 out of 4.30 GPA which is the highest of my year (the second best has a 3.7 GPA, who is also my friend and is on the Dean's list).
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2006
  11. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    its not wrong to procrastinate, but it does make some people very nervous whe you cut things down to the last min. and your cool exposure may be interpeted as apathy, and they may think you are going to ditch and project and royallly fuck them over.

    is it that much to ask that you stick with the gantt chart, and keep some order to things?

    when i work by myself, i do things when i want. but its rude to treat others in such a fashion, and leave them waiting and wondering.
     
  12. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2005
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal
    I don't even procrastinate. I started working earlier and worked harder than all of them, I let them all do the part of the project they liked and did the part no one wanted to do (which was incidentally the most work and the most painful work). I feel it's more towards my attitude/body language that they had an issue. During that project I pretty much completely stopped smiling all the time, I might have been a bit too vocal about the fact that I was tired. I also at times isolated myself from the group: for example, while the group was discussing some thing that didn't relate to what I was doing, I'd put my headphones on and do my work. I don't think this affected the group at all and the guys on my team generally understood me and saw it for what it was: I was friggin burnt out. But the girls seemed so concerned with proper process. Dorothy told me that the reason she didn't want to work with me next year was that I was "inconsistent". She said that I was brilliant during the last few days of the project but that there were times when I didn't seem to care about the group or the project.

    I guess this seems to be a common problem that women have with me. At my previous workterm, one of my lady bosses was harassing me non-stop asking me if I liked my job and telling me that I didn't seem to care for or like my job. Well duh!, they had hired me to do development but were using me to do manual testing (calling a machine all day: something that a monkey could do). I never complained about it, nor did my efficiency suffer but she took exception to the fact that I wasn't totally excited with my job. My male bosses, on the other hand, were very appreciative of my work, complimented my efficiency and intelligence and he even told me that he took the lady's comments about me with a grain of salt since according to him, if his own bosses rated him according to this ladies impression of him, they'd think he was the worst boss in the world.

    In other words, guys usually seem happy that I get so much work done and respect me for it while women are pissed at me that I don't show passion for what I do because I honestly hated the project and told whoever wanted to hear.
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2006
  13. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    :rofl: you put on head phones during a group meeting? yeah, thats fucking disrespectful and a slap to the face.

    and you are unpleasant, mooody and anti social to boot?

    people in general dont like downers. guys might not be as vocal about it, but it brings the dynamics of the whole group down.


    perhaps learning a little tact would go a long way in making EVERYONES life a little better.
     
  14. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2005
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal
    That's the thing, I'm not usually a downer, I was making a burnout due to the pressure they were putting on me. My friend Jeff was screwing up his coding every day and I had to explain to him gently everytime why he had to redo it, Dorothy was even more moody than me (although Jeff was always there to suck up to her). She would complain without end as to how she hated doing documentation. She's a hypocrite. The other group members would never be there and whenever anything was assigned to them, they wouldn't do it but would go on a tangent such as picking pretty colours for the User Interface instead of what they were supposed to do. I do agree that you shouldn't always act like that but when you are working nearly 100 hrs per week on a project and you have so much pressure, are tired and have the flu, I think you have a right to be a downer sometimes.

    What I find hilarious is that Dorothy is going with a team who's main core are 1) a guy I know quite well who spends every waking hour watching anime and doesn't get anything else done and just barely passes and 2) a guy who is known to take complete control of the code and let no one else touch it, he even had a lot of conflict with his team members because of that.
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2006

Share This Page