What's with this obsession with Alpha/Beta males?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Mogul, Mar 6, 2007.

  1. Mogul

    Mogul New Member

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    If I remember correctly this idea of the alpha male comes from studying the behavior of cats. There are just as many animals that mate for life, like the Emperor Penguin for example. To me it just seems like a way to justify immature harem fantasies. Any thoughts?
     
  2. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Both types of thinking are insecure.

    Just be. If you aren't doing so well just Being, then go to the gym, get in good health, take care of your looks, try your best, then just be yourself again. Be a gentleman, learn how to react (so it's not just mechanical action-reaction all the time), develop intelligent morals, date respectable woman, have some respect for yourself and become who you want to be.

    Just be.

    The people who are trying to be alpha male or whatever are using their intellect too much, if you are just being then you are just flowing, there is no thought it is all just you, and you do not hesitate to think or do stuff to impress your buddies. You try to awaken the conciousness and just go with what is right, do your thing, and everything should work out fine.

    Although some might disagree it is working fine for me. :shrug:
     
  3. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    i think you are grossly misunderstanding the term.


    though i don't think this is an exceptional definition, here is wikipedia.

    "In social animals, the alpha male or alpha female is the individual in the community whom the others follow and defer to. Where one male and one female fulfill this role, they are referred to as the alpha pair."

    short end of the story is that being an alpha male has absolutely nothing to do with having a harem or whatever you seem to think it implies.

    being an alpha male means being a strong confident man capable of leading and making decisions and having others follow them.

    the fact that women find this appealing is tangental
     
  4. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I believe a man is either alpha or beta from birth.

    I believe its possible for a beta male to learn to mimic alpha behaviors in order to be successful with women.

    I was really into the "alpha/beta" thing when I first started learning about relationships, but now I don't think its nearly as important.

    For me, it all comes back to David DeAngelo's concept of "keeping your power for yourself."

    We all have personal power. The problem is that most men immediately give all their power to an attractive woman, and this is unattractive to her.

    You can be a "beta" in the course of your normal life, but if you keep your power for yourself, you can and will be successful with women.

    I have accepted that I am the only person in charge of what I think and what I do. I don't let society and other people pressure me into doing things that aren't in my best interest.

    "Beta males" are very susceptible to the influence of others.
     
  5. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Unfortunately, this matches my experience, too.

    I want to be the introverted alpha. I want to be introverted and have other men want to be me, and have women throwing themselves at me.

    I don't think it's gonna happen.
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I agree with that, too. That's why in one of my other threads I was going on a rant about logical reasoning vs. social intelligence, and then a sub-rant about betas "faking" it, but it being a sham because it's not congruent with who they really are.
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    If a beta male allows societal pressures to cause him to do things like supplication, seeking her approval, and putting her on a pedestal, this doesn't mean that's "who he is as a person."

    Its just that his will and belief are not strong. So if he learns to use his will to change his belief, he isn't faking anything.

    I'm a natural alpha, although I haven't always accepted myself as such. Just because others look to you for leadership doesn't mean you are comfortable with leading, or have the skills. But looking back on my life, people have always looked to me for leadership, and others tend to follow what I do.

    But because of several factors, I was always beta with women. The women would observe my "alpha" status from a distance, and I'm assuming they would send my IOIs but I was too dense to get them. So then some women would actually get interested enough to approach me, and these are the groups of girls I chose my girlfriends from. Basically whichever girl liked me the most is the one I chose.

    But because I had been taught through my upbringing and by society to "respect women," I went way overboard and attempted to fulfill her every need and always make her happy. What I learned is that these behaviors will cause a highly interested woman to lose interest in me over time. Basically my internal beliefs were not consistent with reality. They would have worked in the 1800s, but not today.

    So after my divorce, I learned all about women and relationships, and I accepted that I am a confident, fun man that women are attracted to. I no longer feel uncomfortable in my leadership role, and I have taken control of my life and I'm in charge of getting what I want. No one else can do that for me.
     
  8. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    that has nothing to do with it.

    there are plenty of loudmouths that nobody respect and plenty of quiet people that people really listen to when they do talk.
     
  9. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    way to read the post :ugh:
     
  10. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    Im not alpha or beta, I am outside of that game. Playing that game is like being in a giang fucking pissing match, I grew out of that in highschool.
     
  11. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I think thats a healthy attitude to have.

    As long as you are a real man who doesn't allow himself to get punked by other men, I don't think it matters.

    Any man can develop the necessary skills to successfully get what he wants from a relationship with a woman, regardless of if he was born alpha or beta.
     
  12. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    People aren't born alpha or beta, people are products of their enviroment. People learn as they get older (at least thats what we hear) and a mature person that has good social skills won't be beta or alpha, they will just be. They will back down when it benifits them, they will stand their ground when they need to. Someone getting punked out has a smaller problem than some arrogant fuck trying to punk some other kid out.
     
  13. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    Good post. Everyone should read The Book Of Pook. Its about BEING a man, no games, no pick-up lines, or any of that stuff.
     
  14. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Obviously we aren't going to agree on this point. I can tell you from my personal experience that many others look to me for leadership. You are saying this is because of my environment growing up? I don't believe that.

    I can dig it. I'm older (31) and my experience has proven this to be true. I can sit with a group of people and not say a word, I don't have to "dominate" the conversation.

    Oh I have no problem backing down, if its in my best interest. But its a choice, its not because I'm scared or intimidated. Courage is having fear, but following through in spite of it. Many men allow themselves to be physically intimidated because of their fear, and this is beta. That's never been me.

    I would rather take an ass kicking than send the message to my peers that I can be pushed around and made to accept the will of another person.
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Its an ebook, and the author is Pook. He used to post at sosuave.com.

    I agree with Toda Party, its some of the best stuff I've ever read, and I think it would help you tremendously, Viper.

    Go to www.sosuave.com, click on Forums, go to the bottom of the page and click on DJ Bible. You will find the link to it there.

    edit: here is the direct link:
    http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/The Book of Pook.pdf
     
  16. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/The Book of Pook.pdf

    :bigthumb:
     
  17. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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  18. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Its basically a compilation of his posts.

    Pook started out as a geeky, skinny nerd like many.

    As he discovered himself and what worked for him, he made posts on sosuave.

    His writing style isn't very accessible, you just have to go with it and not let it annoy you.

    I recommend that you drop what you are reading now and read this first, its gold.

    I would rate it right up there with DYD and Anti-Dump's Machine (Pook was actually influenced quite a bit by Anti-Dump, and he's the one who compiled and posted Anti-Dump's Machine).
     
  19. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    :cool:



    Yep, its free, and I agree with Yail Bloor- its some of the best stuff I've read.
     
  20. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    hmmm.. you are clearly and obviously wrong but i just don't care enough to get into it with you. :wiggle:
     
  21. scent of a wookie

    scent of a wookie OT Supporter

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    you are obviously in delusion if you don't believe your personality is shaped by your environment while growing
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    In for downloading Pook's book later when I'm home from work.
     
  23. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    :werd:

    People are nothing more than products of their enviroments. Had I grown up with a father, I would be a totally different person. Had I grown up with money, I would have been a totally different person. Im not saying I would have been a better person, just not who I am today. They way you grow up, and the people that are around you, and the problems you deal with are what shape you into an adult.
     
  24. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I have no doubt of that. In my case, I would say that my environment caused me to be very self-conscious and not confident at all. Yet people still recognized my natural leadership abilities.

    As I've grown and matured, I've overcome my upbringing.
     
  25. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Im going to go ahead and disagree here. you can learn to deal with your upbringing, but you simply cannot completely leave it behind.
     

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