SRS What's the difference? v. Gentlemen & Nice Guy

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Signedx, May 27, 2009.

  1. Signedx

    Signedx New Member

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    It seems like the line separating these two is becoming thinner and thinner as time passes. I've noticed sometimes even doing things such as holding the door open for someone pins me as a nice guy. *


    I'm 22 years old and I'm very mannered when talking to other people that aren't my friends, I would say: please, thank you, sir, ma'am, etc.

    Am I too old fashioned for my age or just being a gentlemen isn't what it used to be anymore?

    Or maybe I am being a nice guy and I really don't understand the difference between a nice guy and gentlemen?


    *Note: A lot of the times I've noticed when I little things such as holding the door open for women, generally older women would acknowledge me and say 'thank you' or smile while younger just walks by without any acknowledgment at all, like I'm not even there.

    I'm mainly looking to see what do people consider a nice guy and a gentlemen, if there is a separation between the two anymore.
     
  2. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    Gentleman = Sean Connery's Bond, has confidence, self respect and respects others.

    nice = being too passive, push over and doing things that go above and beyond in which it almost seems you're trying too hard.

    be the James Bond

    Also, women of today dont' expect it, and when it happens don't realize it to appriciate it.
     
  3. polishillusion

    polishillusion New Member

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    This is why people avoid it altogether. To me, it seems that Americanized women have zero "Sean Connery" sense due to being filtered through the Disney channel and all the other bullshit they watch. They see someone being polite and cordial, and they immediately assume the man is a coward, wimp, or nerd. I forced myself out of this paradigm a few months ago by still holding doors and being polite, but literally never talking to women again that were rude to me or that seemed to be trying to hold social power over me because of it.
     
  4. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    I agree wit the replies. Confidence, self-respect & respecting others seems like good conditions separating gentlemen from 'nice guys'. The nice guy is afraid of loss of a loved one, so he will kissass and be overly passive out of fear. Or maybe he has self-esteem problems, doesn't really like himself, and therefore his shattered ego will do everything to protect itself from anxiety.

    I'm 22 and I always say thank you/please/etc... a lot of other people don't. I don't think there is anything wrong with being polite... in fact, not enough people are polite to 'strangers' these days... people seem afraid of people they do not know on a personal level. Holding the door open for people I'll do as well... almost unconsciously, in a way. Yeah, some people just act like they don't need to say anything for you holding the door open for them (especially younger) :hs: Not much you can do about that, I think.
     
  5. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    Do it with debonair, chivalry and most importantly, confidence. Being a gentleman is every aspect of your being, from your dress, looks, style, how you carry yourself, treat others, treat yourself, how you behave in public etc. take pride in yourself. Don't be afraid to love, lose love, be loved and have feelings but do it with confidence.

    I hold doors, smile, chat wittingly, shake hands firmly, wear a pocket square that matches, walk with confidence.

    the word gentleman shouldn't define you, you should define gentleman on your own terms.
     
  6. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    you guys are making it very over complicated

    a nice guy = a guy a woman sees as not being a sexual creature; not having a penis; asexual

    a gentleman does not guarantee sex or increase your chances of getting sex as a nice guy can also be a gentleman
     
  7. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    what are your goals here? are you trying to figure out how to get laid or attract women or what?
     
  8. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    And herein lies the problem to the TS's dilemma
     
  9. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    who said anything about arrogance?
     
  10. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    uh you can get laid with or without pure arrogance and i LOL'ed hard at your "all of my nice guy friends have the hottest chicks" comment
     
  11. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    I did not expect you to pick up on why it is funny :mamoru:
     
  12. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    Ignore him, he's the last person that should be in this thread...he thinks its about getting laid.
     
  13. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    :bowrofl:

    it sounds like you are the ignorant one. getting laid, getting into a relationship, seeking companionship with the opposite sex call it what you want but it is painfully obvious that he is complaining about how women view him as a nice guy and not boyfriend material ...

    isnt nice guy threads always about attracting the opposite sex? just /yourself from offtopic permanently sgt friday
     
  14. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    show me where he says that.

    ...and I say again you're the last person that should be in this thread.
     
  15. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    You're right, he was interested in knowing if there was difference in modern times between a nice guy and a gentleman, which I believe I've outlined.

    Looks go a long way, and not just what God gave you either.

    its more than just looks:

    Being a gentleman is every aspect of your being, from your dress, looks, style, how you carry yourself, treat others, treat yourself, how you behave in public etc. take pride in yourself. Don't be afraid to love, lose love, be loved and have feelings but do it with confidence.
    See men like Cary Grant for another example.
     
  16. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    you're totally missing the point half pint.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2009
  17. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    oh I would absolutely love for you to enlighten me as to what your point is shortstop
     
  18. Signedx

    Signedx New Member

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    I guess my post can be interpreted in different ways but I didn't intend it to be mostly about me being viewed as a 'nice guy' in relationships. I have read a lot of threads about that and have accepted that while I'm not a pushover, I am a polite person and will show some respect to those I come in contact with.

    What I am confused with though is if a guy doesn't do something, he is labeled an asshole or some other name but on the flip-side if a guy does do gentlemen (using the context in how you treat others) like things then he is labeled a 'nice guy'.

    I don't expect reactions from other people if I do something for them, small or big, but I do appreciate the acknowledgment when I do get one.


    Confidence and respect is what I assumed separated the 'gentlemen' from 'nice guys' but now it seems that just respecting others alone almost makes you a 'nice guy'. It's like the line separating the two is disappearing as the years pass.
     
  19. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    What i've chalked it up to is basically each persons (women) definition of what a gentleman is. Those that see what you're doing as class, and others as what you've experienced. I've gotten both sides of the coin with it as well, but don't change who you are and the respect you have for anyone, it'll come around.
     
  20. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    and just to be fair

    he was pointed out the difference in responses from the older women to the younger women, women is arbitrary in this regard, but it was his example.

    Edit: Please don't insult other members.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2009
  21. Signedx

    Signedx New Member

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    Years ago I did 'try' to act more like an asshole (I was ignorant) and didn't understand as much as I do now. I've since realized who I am and that's how I will always be with no intent on changing or putting on an act to be accepted by anyone else.

    It's nice to know that people still do see others in three different categories instead of 'black and white': Nice Guy - Gentlemen - Asshole. While I do agree with the mentioned definitions of being a gentlemen, I think that is where the problem lies.

    You can be confident and people will think you're an asshole.
    You can be nice and people will view you as a pushover.

    If you are confident and do nice things for others, you're a 'nice guy'.
     
  22. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    go do some research about what the fuck the term "nice guy" even implies?

    Edit: Please don't insult other members.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2009
  23. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Most women, at least the ones worth having, will notice if you are well mannered in situations that call for it. It's not about being a pussy, but if you are in semi-formal social situations, you need to know how to act.

    Trust me, they notice.
     
  24. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    those that feel insecurity themselves won't be able to recognize the difference between confidence and arogance, unless of course its apparent.

    Nice, the word with a million definitions defined by only the act itself. It's how you come across that will determine if you're a pushover or not.

    see above.
     
  25. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    What? how is that relevant to the discussion?

    Today really isn't your day is it
     

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