SRS What's going on here?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Kindbudz, Dec 6, 2005.

  1. Kindbudz

    Kindbudz Who wants to get mind-fucked?

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    I don't know why I bother posting about it, but I guess I have to expose my situation and take in some advice, because I don't really think I'm so wrong about it.

    Sorry no cliffs, but i figure i'll give detail to avoid having questions posted about the story... as you may expect this is about my girlfriend of 3 years. So we've had some problems with honesty, she cheated on me once.. just a kiss. I've been dishonest to her with more simple things but this time it was when we were kinda going downhill and "sort of" broke up. I had a girl in my room when we had a party at our house because her friend and my 2 friends went to pick up some uh, drugs. I was being accomodating knowing she didn't have anyone to talk to. Somone walked by and later said I was trying to get with her to my gf. That was definatly not the case, this chick wasn't any beauty star, even if she was hawt, i wouldn't be so cruel to my gf at the time. My gf tried to break up with me, I lied to her about having a girl in my room because I knew she would think that I did shit with her.. with the intensity of the situation in her mind. So we broke up, I gave her time, we met up one day for lunch, we had sex in my winter beater by the ski hill. Yippie. We worked every prior problem out, but nothing was solved. She never believed me about the situation.. so upon making changes to benefit our relationship I told her I wouldn't ever lie to her again. That step I took to tell her about what really happened exploded, and we are now "separated" She believes me on the story, but still thinks I was trying to get with her, and that I'm always going to be a liar. Needless to say, my timing for honesty wasn't that great.

    Here's the fucked up situation, i was under a very informed curiosity in her secret of living a single life, and currently trying to find a replacement. She's never loved anyone but me, we are the classic love at first sight couple. So I find a name of someone she may have been seeking, and mentioned it during our fight after I was honest with her. I didn't even believe there was anything to the name, but when i mentioned it, she said she had a crush on him. Her myspace profile churns my gut when she says she's single, and deliberates the fact that she has a secret crush. This was even before all of the latter happened.

    Where I am confused is that it seems she is trying to find ways out of the relationship, but lacks the backbone to be honest with me. The very thing she is now accusing me of and wants to break up with me for is what she seems to be doing. Am I being crazy when I feel that I'm not really the bad guy here? She says there's nothing going on with him or anyone to me. But she basically makes it seems she wants him because he's only good looking to her. (odd he has the same features as me i.e. hair color, eyes, height) Our sex has never been better the last few days, she explained in scary detail how she used a vibrator thinking of me. More confusion... what the hell is goin on with her? Blah, there's the bulk... i hate typing.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    She loves you, she wants to get 'even' with you for hanging out with that girl.

    When it comes to these kinds of situations im always like ' as long as i know the truth' then i don't give a damn what other people think, if your gf doesn't trust you while you tell the truth, then its her problem. But things went wrong because you actually DID lie to her.

    Now trust takes time, I would just ask her to give it another shot , picking up the pieces and try to glue them back together again. But she already seems psychozoid about whatever you did , you see she has this 'image' in her mind of what happend.

    You see you have got to 'learn' that you can't build trust on lies. In fact it was you lying and being dishonest about the whole 'drug' thing that happend which sparked her idea of you being a 'traitor,cheater etc' But she still loves you ,which why i think you two should give it another chance as long as you two only put love,light and continues honesty into the relationship from now on.
     
  3. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    This is an immature relationship. Maybe one day when you two grow up you will realize that all of this drama was pointless. Also, your relationship isn't founded on much trust if this can escalate so far...
     

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