What's goin' on W/ her? I can't read what she's thinking AT ALL

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Athlete218, Jun 3, 2008.

  1. Athlete218

    Athlete218 New Member

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    Okay, I recently met this girl (she lives like 2 hrs away), but I've seen her a few weekends the past month & I find her extremely attractive (& I kinda feel like she feels the same way)..everytime there has been lots of alcohol involved & she seems like a good girl/although very flitatious w/ different guys. this past weekend we hung out & ended up kissing some (i know, no big deal...but i didnt want to push things too much b/c i kinda like her). we end up hanging out most of the night & i get a text from her in the morning (she texted when she was sober b/c it was in the morning that she sent it) "it was nice seeing you !!", so I text her back a couple hours later after i see it...saying "yeah it was really nice hangin out & we should get together this summer" b/c she is going to be living in the same city as me this coming summer & she had made a comment before about hanging out during the summer.

    no response.

    I IM her later just saying hey, hope ya have a good week ;) (trying to be the nice guy :sadwavey: & again, no response. )

    I text her asking if i said anything that pissed her off on a voice mail b/c i blacked out that night & i noticed i called her several times....she said no, but i dont know b/c i left my friends voicemails that i dont even remember doing.

    & when i talk to her on AIM i feel like it's a one way conversation.


    i feel like im getting mixed signals from this girl...i mean, maybe it's not a great idea to try & get w/ her b/c we are at completely different stages of our lives (shes still in college & i've been out 2 yrs w/ a real job) - shes gona be a senior, so we're like 4 yrs apart.


    what do i make of this? i usually am good at reading girls, but not at all this time.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Whoa, holy needy!

    Dude, she lives 2 hours away and even though you've seen her a few times that does not warrant you to start overanalyzing her texts, or lack thereof. You aren't even dating!

    First of all, when she texted you you should have called her back, not texted her back. Called her, told her you had a great time and immediately set up an actual date. You seeing her in a party atmosphere while also drunk does not a date make. The fact that you IMed wasn't that bad...but it was probably too soon. Why would you tell her to have a good week? Why not call her and say you want to get together that weekend?

    The worst part is that then you texted her is she was mad at you :uh: Dude, you've probably already buried yourself. Just because someone doesn't text or IM you back immediately doesn't mean the end of the world. This is why relying on texts and IM's is stupid, you start to overanalyze bullshit. Now she just thinks you are needy and weird. I know I would :dunno:

    You're stressing far too much. This girl most likely isn't gungho about starting anything with you because:
    1. She lives 2 hours away
    2. You know nothing about her

    For all you know she just broke up with some long term boyfriend or she likes someone else and that's why your conversations are one-sided. You are trying too hard. Stop being the one to initiate everything.

    Either you call her on the actual telephone right now and try setting up a date (if she accept you know she at least kind of likes you, if she denies than you can move on) or you stop contacting her completely and move on.
     
  3. Athlete218

    Athlete218 New Member

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    ^^ yeah, i have no game anymore.

    before i was in a long term relationship 5+ yrs, i was smooth & got so many girls - like literally every weekend (mostly b/c i acted like i didnt care)....now i just suck, lol.

    in my defense though, she texted me first, so i texted her back.

    should I say anything to not make me not look so bad, or just ignore for now & when summer comes try to set something up?
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It takes time and lots of practice. You've been out of the game for a long time. One thing you are doing wrong right now is relying far too much on empty technology. Using those things are only good if you are progressing the relationship. Sounds like you are just mindlessly chatting with her about nothing.

    She's either not interested in you or wondering when the fuck you will make a move already.

    So make a move already! Ask her out and find out once and for all if she gives a damn about you. Problem solved.

    No! Stop apologizing. You are coming off way pathetic. And why would you wait til summer? If she's been coming down recently for the weekends why don't you just ask her out for this upcoming weekend?
     
  5. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    Wow... you need to stop talking to her right now. Like next time she tries to talk to you DO NOT MESSAGE BACK! At least not for like a day or two. Once they realize they're not your number 1 priority they'll be begging for your attention.

    Unless they never truly wanted it in the first place.

    Your first fuck up was when she texted you and you replied, you replied again before she ever texted you back. Then you tried to contact her again after that before she contacted you. That was your third mistake. Don't assume for a second this isn't a huge game. It is and girls don't even realize it most of the time, you just have to play it right.
     
  6. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Yeah, the second text was a bit much, and the voicemail was WAY out of line. Whatever you said she heard "hey you aren't getting back to me as fast as i would expect and I'm super needy and need to know what you think of me now. Please call back and approve of me asap so I can stop sweating"
    Leave her alone, if she wants to talk to you she will.
     
  7. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    Play some NG2 to pass off the time. :hsugh:
     
  8. Athlete218

    Athlete218 New Member

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    i guess i didnt leave her a voicemail...i asked her if i left her one b/c i blacked out & left friends voicemails that night that i dont even remember & i guess they were pretty ridiculous.
     
  9. Athlete218

    Athlete218 New Member

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    & yes, i know.....i really have no game at this point. i didnt need it when i was in a long term relationship..

    6 yrs ago i was extremely smooth w/ girls, obviously not the case now b/c i dont even know what i want (date, hookup, relationship) & i dont even know what to do or say or obviously when to say it.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Think about it this way. If you kiss a girl your next immediate step should be to ask for an actual date.

    If you haven't had the fortune of kissing a girl before dating the second you realize you like her, ask her out on a date.

    Two easy steps to follow.

    Interest--->Date
     
  11. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Why were you smooth with girls 6 years ago? If you did it 6 years ago do the same thing now and you can get girls again. A long term relationship turns a man into a wussy. Once a wussy, you can't get the girls again.

    Learn from your mistake, and avoid acting like a wussy with future girls and avoiding turning into a wussy in your next long term relationship.

    And don't listen to IWYWB, asking a girl out on a date will just make her avoid you like the plague.
     
  12. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    So how do you ask her out on the first place? Do you not have to say the word date or what.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yeah, but listen to the guy who can't get dates :hsugh:

    Asking a girl on a straight foward date will get you a date faster than pussy-footing around and never making a move.
     
  14. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    or if she says no to the date, then you are not left wondering and overanalyzing what her lack of text messages mean.

    you said you are out of college, so just do it. if she says no, move on to the next girl. its no big deal.

    as a girl, i appreciate a guy being straightforward with what he wants. its helpful
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd:

    I lose interest in a guy who just calls me or texts me to say "hi," "what's up?" and "how are you?" Ask me that shit over a date.
     
  16. aim2kill

    aim2kill New Member

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    orly:wiggle:
     
  17. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    chatting leads to the friendszone
     
  18. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    STFUB, I never claimed I could get dates. However I have failed enough times to know what doesn't work. I am still trying to figure out the best things that will work. Regardless I have learned to take dating advice from women with a grain of salt because I have seen many times a girl say they want such-and-such a guy yet they chase after the complete opposite of what they 'claim' they wanted.

    And I have seen many of my friends who are nice guys ask girls out on dates only to get cold shouldered where my egotistical jack ass friends who are only out to get laid, hookup with all kinds of hot chicks. They never ask for dates. They may end up dating the girl if they find her attractive enough and she is wanting to be exclusive, but they never go into it thinking it will turn into a relationship.

    Don't ask a girl on a date. If you like her, don't show her that you like her but ask her if she wants to hang out with you. But don't get friend zoned because you never made any sexual advances. You need to let girls think they are the ones who want a relationship, and you are the elusive man that they need to tame.
     
  19. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    the difference isnt the guys style, its the type of girls being asked. im betting the "nice guys" are asking other "nice girls" who may just not like them and who wont just sleep with anyone

    the jerks are meeting the girls who get their validationg through "love" and will sleep with a guy at the drop of a hat. its not the same sample of girls, so you cant claim that being a jerk is the only way to get girls. depends on what type of girl you want and what you want from her
     
  20. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    why would attraction work differently for "nice girl" than other girls?

    it doesn't

    WOMEN aren't sexually attracted to "nice guys." Has nothing to do with the type of girl she is

    your internal beliefs are inconsistent with reality
     
  21. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    .
     
  22. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    my beliefs are based on watching my friends and guys. that is reality
     
  23. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I fully believe that you can consistently be a DECENT guy (the median between a "nice guy" and an "jerk" and get all sorts of girls.

    There are discussions about this all the time here. Most people don't want the overly needy, clingy, "I have no life but you" partner. Most people don't want the asshole either.

    Most people want the person who is calm, assertive, and able to live their own life. The person who says "Ok, I'll just go out with my friends" when you are unavailable to spend time with them.

    They want the person that can stand up for themselves, set limits and boundaries, and stick with their principles.

    Lost my train of thought there, but basically, "the only way a guy can get a girl is to be an asshole" is WRONG.
     
  24. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    Don't get too happy with what beer says. She is one in a million. I mean, in the way she thinks and acts. :hsugh:
     
  25. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    then you are seeing only what you choose to see
     

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