SRS what's fair when moving in with your SO?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by moses, May 7, 2009.

  1. moses

    moses OMGWTFBBQ

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    i make easily twice what she does, so does that mean i should cover 75% of the monthly budget?

    I'm 30, she's 25 and we're planning on being together indefinitely, talking marriage and wanna take the next step in our relationship to make sure we'll live together alright.
     
  2. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    It depends on the people moving in together. Have you talked with her about this? What is she comfortable/want to contribute? Are you also comfortable with that? If not, say so. Communication is huge.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    My fiance and I moved in together about a year ago (not engaged back then) and he has always made a lot more money than me. Did that factor into how we paid rent??? God no. I want to be equal in our relationship, so we split everything right down the middle.

    Now that we are engaged we have one joint account solely to use to spend on groceries, but other than that at the end of the month he cuts me a check for his half of the rent/electric/gas/water, etc. When we get married we agreed all our our paychecks will go straight into our joint account-"what's mine is yours"- but until then we are still separate people.
     
  4. moses

    moses OMGWTFBBQ

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    well we've talked about it and she has mentioned that we shouldn't do 50/50 since i make twice what she does and at first i was like wtf, but then realized it's not a roommate situation (never lived with an SO before). so maybe when it comes to rent i could do 75/25 or 2/3 and other bills we just half?

    we're not in an argument or anything about it, just discussing the future.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: Oh lord....you're gonna have a fun marriage when she feels like that
     
  6. moses

    moses OMGWTFBBQ

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    :sad2:
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Can I ask roughly what she makes? I mean I make a decent amount of money, so of course I can afford 50/50. What are your bills going to be like and what do you think she makes a month?
     
  8. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    you make twice, so that would be 2/3 while she covers 1/3 :hsugh:

    and no, it doesn't. split all bills and expenses 50/50, then you can do extra like buy dinners or pay when you go out. but the home expenses should be right down the middle.
     
  9. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    advice?

    keep doing it the exact same way.




    my wife and I have been married 13 years and still have 3 accounts, mine, hers, and "the house" and we both still transfer our share in each pay period. the #1 argument in marriage is money. avoid it if you can.
     
  10. moses

    moses OMGWTFBBQ

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    this makes cents.

    the place we're looking at is kinda pricey, i think she pays like $350 for rent right now (lives with her mom) and i live alone and pay $1050, place were looking at is like $1400. Maybe we should look elsewhere
     
  11. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    if she made $25k and moved in with a friend who made $50k, would she expect that friend to cover more of the rent?

    <of course not>

    so why is your situation different?
     
  12. moses

    moses OMGWTFBBQ

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    she's temping right now and under $30k, i make a lil over $75k
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Actually we are definitely keeping our separate accounts. Our paychecks will go straight into the joint account for bills and savings. From there we will pull out small amounts to go into our individual accounts for our own purchases. If there is one thing my fiance and I are completely solid on it's money and how to spend it. He's a finance major and I watch my money just as fiercely :)
     
  14. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    well here's the rub. if the place you want is $1400 then you can add your $1050 and her $350 and get that.........if it's really the place you want, do it and you're both coming out the exact same.

    but she shouldn't go to bed at night thinking your paying 3x what she pays is "fair."
     
  15. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    cool, congrats.

    getting rid of money issues is HUGE.
     
  16. moses

    moses OMGWTFBBQ

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    righteous.
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: $350 a month on her part? She is just spoiled and hoping you'll let her get away with that. My best friend makes $23k a year and she can afford half her monthly house payment. She should at least be paying $450 a month on rent and that's not including her share of utilities that she should pay. If she can't afford that then honestly you should consider living somewhere a little cheaper.....Unless of course you like paying for mostly everything.

    MORE IMPORTANTLY, DO NOT even think of combining your finances yet.
     
  18. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    how about this?

    get your 1200 square ft apartment and tape off 300 square feet that includes the kitchen, laundry area, and bedroom, then tell her since you're paying 75% of the rent that's the 1/4 she's allowed to be in.







    btw, be wearing your cup if you actually do this

    [​IMG]
     
  19. moses

    moses OMGWTFBBQ

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    that's her current situation, we don't live together currently.
     
  20. moses

    moses OMGWTFBBQ

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    :rofl:
     
  21. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    this is HUGE!!


    she's making $30k, but if you combine finances then she's going to start living like she makes your money.........once that expectation is there, you're screwed.
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh I know, I'm saying she's spoiled now living with her mom and she'll continue to be spoiled if you let her think it's "fair" she only pay $350 a month on rent when she makes enough to pay more.

    .
     
  23. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    like I said, married 13 years...............the other day I borrowed money from my wife and paid her back this morning.

    sounds stupid, but then again we've never had a fight about money.
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm the exact same way. I just really can't see my actions changing for some dramatic reason :dunno: My parents are the same way though, so I'm sure that has a lot to do with it.
     
  25. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    When my fiance moved in with me I asked her you pay all the utility bills, cell phone, groceries, etc and I'll take care of the mortgage. Its not a 50/50 split but I'm fine with it (it was my idea not hers) I make twice what she does and she still has school loans and car to pay off so I'd rather her get that paid down first. I had none of that b/c I'm a few years older and more established.

    We're now married and we didn't change a thing if its not broke don't fix it, we keep separate accounts and separate credit cards our only joint account is for vacation savings. Then again we are both pretty responsible with money neither of us have credit card debt and we don't spend beyond our means. It really comes down to how you both handle money, but no offense if she's already suggesting you pay 75% b/c you make a lot more sounds like you're in for a bumpy ride :hs: Tell her if thats the case the apt/house will be solely in your name.

    whew I thought I was the only one that did this :o
     

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