WHats consider too much space??

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by mugen_princess, Apr 23, 2009.

  1. mugen_princess

    mugen_princess chika chika

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    :rolleyes:well like i said before ..i just got back together with boyfriend we were on a break for a week and got back together on easter . So since then we only see each on saturdays and for sure on sundays but we use to see each other mostly everyday ...but now after the break its come down to a couple of days ..well kinda just sundays ..we have been together since nov.2008 . so i was just wondering if things will change or if this is just a stage we are going thru ..i mean his busy and im busy but i would like to see him more often during the week ...his excuse last week was he was busy with work and practicing for golf games and stuff ...so yeah when we are together we have a blast and we talk and text everyday...so i dont know maybe im just overthinking the situation!!! any advice
     
  2. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Well, if you want to see him more than tell him that.

    You need to communicate. Things aren't just magically going to change and fix themselves. Be open and 100% honest. If you two just got off a break (the reason I dont know) chances are he wants to slow things down, or vice versa. Dont 'mandate' that you see each other 'x' amount of times, but let him know that you would like to see him more often during the week.
     
  3. mugen_princess

    mugen_princess chika chika

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    he broke up with me because i was taking my anger out on him ..cause i was stressed from work so he said i would get mad over little things and i would take it out on him ..thats the reason of the break but before everything was fine he would come and see me alot more during the week and spend the night ...so i dont know maybe he just wants space but i hate just seeing him just one day of the week !!
     
  4. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Yeah, I wouldn't be alright with that either. To answer your question- too much space is whatever you aren't comfortable with. Relationships have to work for both people. What is right for him might not be right for you and vice versa. Doesn't mean either way is right or wrong. Just communicate like JAO said.
     
  5. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Well, in that case he still wants to have 'time' to himself because he thinks more of you = more arguing. It sounds like he is keeping the distance to keep the fights to a minimum and keep the both of you happy. Obviously you aren't happy cause you aren't seeing him often enough.

    Believe me, I strongly believe that younger dating couples who see each other daily/VERY often = very unhealthy. Not having your own time for friends, family, or 'me' time is very unhealthy. Make sure you talk to him, make it clear that although you do see him, maybe seeing him once or twice more during the week would make you much happier, hence, one less thing for you to argue or bitch about.

    And for the record, I used the word 'bitch' in that term cause I feel it applies to women who like to argue. Not that you ARE a bitch, but some women like to 'bitch' about everything and everything.

    Again, communication is key here.
     
  6. mugen_princess

    mugen_princess chika chika

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    yeah cause im 21 and his 21 ...but i just hate the fact that its whenever he want to see me he comes ..like he feels i should drop everything/everyone because he decide to come see me on saturday or something ..u know like it at his convinence !!! i guess we just need to communicate ...thats best thing to do .:dunno:
     
  7. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Tell him thats how you feel. Tell him you feel its unfair that you only get to see him when its convienent for him.

    Fact of the matter is, he broke up with you. I assume you asked him to get back together, and it was 'that type' of break up. So honestly, he's probably still upset with you about the whole thing and is taking to his advantage. After my 'break' with the ex she pretty much did what ever I asked.

    Why? Cause she was scared I could/would leave again. Just like women in general can manipulate men, people in relationships are so overwhelmed with emotions they just want to do what ever it takes to 'make it work'. So you probably feel like you dont want to over step boundaries/piss him off and keep your distance to make things easy, and thats EXACTLY what he wants.
     
  8. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Wait. You were just bitching because you didn't see him enough, and now when he does see you, you don't want him around.

    I think you needed to stay broken up and find out what you want and need.
     
  9. mugen_princess

    mugen_princess chika chika

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    no im not bitching about him coming to see me im bitching because he wants me to drop everything and everyone for him ..when ever he feels like seeing me ..thats all
     
  10. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Don't do it. If you guys have plans, fine, but he'll never respect you if you just let him walk over you like that. Don't sit by the phone waiting for him and don't cancel your plans because he calls. In the long run that will only make things worse.
     
  11. mugen_princess

    mugen_princess chika chika

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    yeah thats what i have been doing ...i just go out keep myself occupied so i dont think about him ..like i have been really to nice to him and i think he has been walking over me ..like jao said "So you probably feel like you dont want to over step boundaries/piss him off and keep your distance to make things easy, and thats EXACTLY what he wants." and then if we ended the relationship he would then realize that i was good to him and that he didnt appericate the things i did for him and then it would be totally different situation...haha lets just see what happens when i mention us seeing each other more often it can either break us or make us
     
  12. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    If he makes a big deal out of it, i'll be 100% honest with you now, he doesn't want to be in the relationship with you. He's sticking it out cause he feels bad.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    How about talk to him instead of an internet message board. That's how relationships succeed-when you communicate to one another.
     
  14. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    :bowdown:

    :love: iwywb
     
  15. mugen_princess

    mugen_princess chika chika

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  16. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    if people listened to this advice this forum would be dead ;)
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :mamoru: until then I'll continue to be the voice of logic
     
  18. mugen_princess

    mugen_princess chika chika

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    okay so i talked to him and everything seemed fine till this morning when i read his myspace status and said " walking down the wrong path " so i texted him and ask him why was he going down the wrong path ? and his response was " because nothing is going the way i pictured it ....so then i asked him if i was included in those feelings . He said i dont know ."i will just figure something out ." and i told him what more does he want im a good girl and i go above and beyond for him ..
    he said " i dont even know . i just feel lost as a person now. I dont know its me i guess i just feel a little off today . Forget it"...


    Guys i seriously dont know what to think or do about this whole conversation??
     
  19. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    ....

    Women. Jeeeeez.

    Maybe the kid really doesn't know where he's at in life? Maybe now he's looking at his lfie, whats he's done, where hes going, his current situations, etc.

    Maybe its just NOT what he wanted. Not necassarily with you, but his life in general. This is what I find wrong w/ girls in relationships, they always think when the guy has a problem its BECAUSE of them. By you saying, "What more do you want", thats going to start an issue. Maybe it has absolutely nothing to do w/ the fact that you two are dating...

    Just cause you are a good girl and do more than you 'should' doesn't mean his life is the way HE wants it.
     
  20. mugen_princess

    mugen_princess chika chika

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    yeah your right i guess im just overthinking it .... like i guess i just want to figure him out you know ..and i dont want to be the reason for him feeling like that ..
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2009
  21. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    "Eat, Sleep ,and Love My Boyfriend"

    this may be part of the problem
     
  22. mugen_princess

    mugen_princess chika chika

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    hahah might be
     
  23. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    THAT IS the problem.
     
  24. mugen_princess

    mugen_princess chika chika

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    alrite guys i changed it ....so should i just break up wth him and give him his space till he figures himself out
     
  25. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Or just break up and find a new bf that knows what he wants? What is the point in being with someone if you just take breaks and can't figure shit out at all?

    Or.... just break up and work on yourself and be single and have fun for awhile. Find out what YOU want in a guy.
     

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