SRS what would you guys do?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by j1zzn1t, Aug 29, 2006.

  1. j1zzn1t

    j1zzn1t OT Supporter

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    Sorry this was orginally posted in the regular ot forum so i tried to keep it short and sweet as possible incase of flames. I'll try to elaborate more as people post, i'll let this be my more serious thread.

    So i'll cut it short, i find out through the grapevine from some friends that my gf a few months ago had a crush on this guy that is in this grp of friends.

    Problem is he lives in australia and we are in texas. I found it weird she would stay up ALL night to chat with this guy and sleep in the mornings and afternoons. She would do all this while staying with me :hsugh:

    So basically i'd be 5 feet from her sleeping, she'd kiss me goodnight and go and have raunchy chat with this guy in australia. Blah blah fast forward to current i get the logs from the guy she was chatting with, it's filled with shit like "i think about you when i have sex in the shower" and "i think of you when we have sex with my bf" "i want to come to see you so bad etc." that was verbatem. you know the usual shit.

    Then some details i just remembered a few months ago when this was happening. she had it in her mind she was hell bent on moving to australia to study for the semester. I mean hell bent, all of a sudden she woke up and that was her life's dream and i found that really fishy and odd. I guess montary reasons kept her from achieving so after a few weeks this was dropped. This all makes sense now.

    So i basically bitched her out and sent her home crying, she keeps wanting a second chance and says nothing really happened (which is true, but honestly i think if the opportunity was there it would have?)

    am i thinking irrationally?

    cliffs: gf has naughty "i think of you when i have sex with my bf" chat with guy in australia every night for a month while i sleep 5 feet from her. wants to move there to study out of the blue, is new life's goal. i find out from said guy chatting and i send her home. fuck that shit.
     
  2. GaNkZoR

    GaNkZoR _

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    drop her and move on
     
  3. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    +1

    she made it clear she was interested in someone else. screw the tears and the begging to come back.
     
  4. j1zzn1t

    j1zzn1t OT Supporter

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    well her response to all this was she stopped talking to him on her own after a month of this shit. and that she stopped because she realized how much she cared for me :hsugh: and that nothing actually happened just text.

    keep in mind i didn't find out about this till almost 4 month after the fact, this all occured in april.

    i don't know, i still want to punch her in teh face.
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    i might be too angry to stay with her.

    if you're not too angry, then the only question is whether she's likely to do this again. only u can figure that out
     
  6. j1zzn1t

    j1zzn1t OT Supporter

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    she keeps saying to give her the second chance and that she's change etc etc.

    partially i believe her, but i'm so dissapointed and have lost all respect that i don't think i want to.
     
  7. TheGetUpkid

    TheGetUpkid New Member

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    Even if she said that nothing happened I would still consider what she did as "emotional" cheating. If you give her a second chance only do so if you can fully trust her and forgive her and not hold a grudge against her. Getting back with her when you have not forgiven her would just be a strain on the relationship.
     
  8. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    Hell fucking no. Get away from her.
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    so just tell her she hurt u too much and if u could u would give her a second chance but u can't. that's the truth
     
  10. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    IMO she had an emotional affair while she was dating you. People like to rationalize and justify everything to make any behavior OK. That's exactly what she's doing but IMO it's not ok.

    She was not only was deceitful but she also had plans to kick you to the curb for the BBD (that Bigger Better Deal). I'm not saying you are a loser or a bad guy to date...but in her mind, the Aussie was the BBD.

    Yes, everyone makes mistakes and can be forgiven but given the level of her deceit I would stay away and look for another g/f.....at least that's what I would do if I were in your shoes.

    Oh and w/e you do...don't punch girls...that's just :greddy:
     
  11. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    I think you should stay away from her.. maybe she didn't physically cheat on you but by the way she proclaims that she thinks about HIM when YOU TWO are having sex? WTF? Dude.. that would piss the shit out of me, I'm sharing something like this with someone I care about and she can go off and be thinking of some other dude while we're having sex.. thats just wrong.

    Now, yeah.. it all makes sense.. here she is saying months ago how she wants to go to Austraila and then you go finding out that this guy is from there.. no wonder she makes up the BS of wanting to goto school there, it probably is true but mostly its to be with THAT guy and don't even for a second believe that had she end up finding the finances to make it happen that she would stay with you.. yeah right, she would break things off or continue to stay with you while cheating.

    Anyhow, lose her.. not worth your time. It may have happened online chatting but the emotions you feel when you're messeging each other when someone seems to think sexually of this guy, thats just not a healthy relationship to stick around with. Just think if she finds someone locally, you two would be non existant, better yet, she'd probably cheat on you.
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2006
  12. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I would ditch her. What she did was definately cheating. If he hadn't been in another country she would have fucked him.
     
  13. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    I would drop her - so what if she didn't actually cheat? "I think of you when I have sex with my bf" <-- wtf?
     
  14. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    if you don't think you can trust or respect her again, it's best for both of you if you just end the relationship.
     
  15. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    Im a very proud perseon, and something like that would hurt my pride to much to stay with her. I couldn't trust her, or have much respect for myself after hearing those things, but thats just me. Im a dick, and would drop her in the most painfull way I could.
     
  16. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    "I think about you when I'm having sex with him." Yeah ... I would be out of there, despite big1's unusually ambitious spirit of forgiveness.
     
  17. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    9/10 here think you should leave and i agree with them for my own and their reasons too.
     
  18. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    Pack her bags and send her to Australia.

    Pretty fucked up.
     
  19. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    What is truly effed up...
    People aren't real over the internet. I mean, you are on the net in forums or chat or something and you have created an idealized self image.
    What was it they called it in the Matrix? God I forget. But it is that thing.

    Like this guy in Australia. Think he has a beer gut? If he does do you think he has told her?

    And that is what is truly effed up.
    She is with you - the real you. You have long passed being able to pretend that you are something you are not with her, beer gut and all.

    And she is doing this crap that is putting your relationship on the line with someone that she thinks she knows - but the person that she thinks she knows is NOT the person she is talking to. She is falling for this idealized Australian guy.

    You know what this tells me? This tells me that if she can fall for this crap once she can fall for it again.
    You know what else this tells me?
    This tells me that she is not happy with some aspect of your current relationship. I mean, if she was really happy then why would she be online looking for this crap to begin with?

    Bottom line.
    I am assuming you are not married, right? No kids between you?
    If so dump away. You are a fool if you don't.
    Cause she WILL do this again. And next time the dude may not be a globe away.
    When that happens let me tell you what you are. You are Mr. Fallback. Mr. If-This-Dude-Online-Doesn't-Work-Out-I-Can-Always-Go-Back-To-Mr.-Fallback.

    Do you care for her?
    Yep.
    Problem is, she doesn't care for you.
     
  20. j1zzn1t

    j1zzn1t OT Supporter

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    thanks for all the replies guys, it really helped a lot to keep my head straight not let the care for her blind me from the truth.

    I read the logs finally and i thought it was bad when i posted, it's much worse than you guys imagine. i'm truly lost, this isn't the person i knew, or fell for.

    Last thing i expected from her was this and that's what truly hurting me.

    Before when i posted this all i read was those lines that i posted well it's much more indepth, i read about a month's worth of logs keep in mind he's in australia and she's in texas that means she stayed up for a month straight pretty much from about 4am till 12noon then crashing during the day.

    My dumbass always trusted her and thought she was just playing games(literal games like video games online mmorpgs) etc no biggie, this meant there was effort, and more than anything intent to a degree. I will post a snippet of what went on and this is prolly the worst chunk in the logs and it goes as follow:

    ya chris just message me when ur back so i can tell u why i wanna go so bad next month
    anywho lOl the reason why i wanted to go to australia so bad next monthis cuz i'd go aloneand im praying to god taht no one is with u right now in the room reading thigbut for one week. i just wanna be with u. cuz im definately going again in december ish but allan is for sure coming with meso i kinda wanted it as awhat happens in australia stays in australia u know?and i feel really bad about it for allan but i cant help myselfand so that's why i wanted to go so bad next monthjust so i can be with u for one week :]anywh oi gotta go goodnight <33

    I'm sorry, we are done simple as that. Nobody that cares for someone would say something like that even jokingly and more than anything lied about all this behind my back for the duration of it.

    I can never forgive her for what she's done period, maybe in the future if things change maybe then we can talk things out, i don't know. I just don't know anymore.

    People say they change, and i firmly believe nobody changes for another person. So she says she wnats to change many things about herself and i plan on letting her do that by herself and nothing more. And if sometime in the far future when she grows older mentally and everywhere else and situations change maybe then i can meet her as a different person, but if that's not the case then so be it. There's many more fish in the sea. And i'm done with this bullshit.
     
  21. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    I think you owe it to us to publish the logs in this thread.
     
  22. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    shes lying

    she may have cut off contact, but that's because she's trying to score you back

    you're a safety net to her, a possession, not a person

    leave her and move on
     
  23. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Bullshit...he doesn't owe us anything. You just want to read all about his misery. That's pathetic...especially in The Asylum where we are only for serious replies.

    To the OP: don't post anything you don't want to....no matter what. You don't owe us anything at all.

    Back on topic:

    My ex did a similar thing to me. Walking away when I truely loved her was one of the hardest decisions of my life. I mean we had fun, great sex and were planning on getting married. There were many times with her where I was completly content...I guess she wasn't. However, after we broke up...about 3-4 months later, my mom saw an announcement where she was getting married.

    There are times that I look back on the good things in that relationship and wish we could have those back. However, they come with the bad things also and eventhough walking away was very difficult, I'm soooo glad I stayed the course. Hang in there....life will go on and you will love again.
     
  24. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  25. j1zzn1t

    j1zzn1t OT Supporter

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    thanks so much for your reply. It actually means a lot to know ur not the only one in the boat.

    For the first time in a while now i feel free to do the things i want to do for me. and for me only. So many things i've neglected for myself because i was looking out for her and making sure she was comfortable. And all i can do is remember back to the solumn days where she would bitch and complain how she didn't get her way and how i woke up everyday just to make sure her life with me more comfortable because i knew her life back home was very drab and stressfull and still she was ungrateful for the majority of the relationship.

    Her parents can barely afford to keep their house and have many monetary problems and i did everything i could for her take her out to eat, pay for her meals, lent her money for tuition etc to make her feel that she isn't all that bad in the hole. Well what do i get out of it? a stab in the back and a spit in the face. It really makes me sick everytime i think about it, how betrayed i felt.

    I'm actually glad this happened and i caught it because for once in a long time i can do something for myself. And that really feels good.
     

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