My mother is an alcoholic. AA has come and gone and she's still drinking. I haven't seen her in over 2 years and she hasn't met her grandaughter. I do keep up w/ her and give her access to pictures and such of the grandkids and she sends them birthday gifts and calls every few months to see how we're doing. She has been building a house and it's nearly complete. She called me yesterday and asked if we would drive up to see her when their house is finished and, "help [them] move in". I'm conflicted because the last time I tried to meet her halfway and arranged an outing for her and her grandson (FAR away from us but near her)she backed out at the last minute w/ some infuriating bs excuse. I know the real reason she didn't come to meet him is because she didn't want to have to be sober the entire day. She refuses to visit us here because she claims to get vertigo on bridges (even though I know she crossed the same bridge to our house when she bought a boat AND hauled it back over the bridge). Again, I think it's just because a trip here would require sobriety. Our relationship is volitile and I worry about exposing my kids to a kind of destructive conflict they have never known. On the other hand she is their Grandmother and has a familial right (if you will) to know her grandchildren and I know my kids would have a blast at her house because she has a horse farm right on the water and they can kyak/boat/fish/crab/ride all day long. It would be like a dream for my son who loves all that stuff. He talks to her on the phone and I can see that he wants to know her...but there are emotional risks involved for him...and I really don't know how to act. What would you do?