SRS what would you do?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by CoOkieS, Mar 20, 2005.

  1. CoOkieS

    CoOkieS New Member

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    okay so theres this one girl i like right? and we've been good friends for the past year and now we're 'best friends' but she has a girlfriend. whenever its just us we act really chill and stuff and talk alot..but whenever her boyfriend is there we just get quiet and just stop talking. i think she knows i like her by now but she really likes this other guy even tho he treats her like shit. what should i do?
     
  2. You should detach from her, and let her know that you're not comfortable with how things are currently arranged. If she decides at some point to end her relationship - you'd be willing to take her out on a date, but until then you'd prefer to only spend time with her alone.
     
  3. CoOkieS

    CoOkieS New Member

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    yeah but i cant just detach from her..she goes to the same school as me and her boyfriend doesnt. so im with her like all day. and ontop of that i see her boyfriend almost everyday. i dont think detaching would work cause i really like her.
     
  4. The time you spend invested here waiting - you may wait for a time that never comes. I wouldn't recommend being idealistic about it. Being the "nice guy" and waiting is a foolish thing to do. Saying what you want - being clear, and then moving on when what you want isn't provided, that's a good choice.

    It's one thing to be patient, it's another to be a fool. When someone is in a relationship with someone who doesn't treat them well - it reflects very poorly on the person who "allows" themselves to be treated that way. I would avoid this situation, and I would not wait patiently.

    Ultimately I don't know if what I'm saying is the right or wrong thing for you - you need to decide what you'll end up doing.
     
  5. CoOkieS

    CoOkieS New Member

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    im only waiting because i think she has some feelings for me..ive told her that i love her and she's told me. and with her havin problems with her boyfriend i think they might break up soon. sometimes we go to the movies together and stuff. im just waiting for her to break up with him. but i get what your saying, that if she doesnt i was just waiting for nothing to happen.
     
  6. Yeah, actions speak louder than words. Take a tip from me. When it comes to women, judge them on their actions, not what they've said, or say they will or won't do.
     
  7. Blue=Gay

    Blue=Gay Guest

    Dude she's not worth the trouble she has a boyfriend. Plus your in the friend zone right now and it is very hard to get out of. It is possible you may never be more than just a friend.

    Ladder theory > *
     
  8. Blue=Gay

    Blue=Gay Guest

    One thing you need to know is that girls liked to be treated like shit. Chances are she'll never break up with him unless something serious happens like him cheating on her.
     
  9. CoOkieS

    CoOkieS New Member

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    he has cheated on her..with one of her friends. with the same girl. and her other boyfriend cheated on her with the same girl.
     
  10. AO

    AO New Member

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    NEVER get involved between a woman and a man. That's how fights start. He treats her like shit? That's her problem.

    Treat her like a friend or forget her and move onto another woman. Or use her to introduce you to other women. But don't get involved with her.
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    He might have cheated , but its up to her or him to end the relationship. While it's going on you have no right to intervene whatsoever. You'll just have to sit this one out, and date other girls until she becomes available, no use of putting your life on a halt while they play out their drama. Also stop sobbing about this, your putting to much stress on yourself and pressure on this whole ideal which isn't really worth investing your time with. If she likes you she likes you if she doesn't she doesn't, in any case you seem to be second choise, and that would be enough for me to leave. Don't know about you though... But i would split.
     
  12. CoOkieS

    CoOkieS New Member

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    yeah i dont want to go out with her IF she still loves him or whatever. i would never bring myself to do something like that. i guess il just leave her for now.
     
  13. I wouldn't want to be with someone who allows themselves to be abused and taken advantage of. That's a quality I avoid - a big red flag.
     
  14. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Classic.
     
  15. CoOkieS

    CoOkieS New Member

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    yeah but they have their moments and break up when shit like that happens and i thought about taking advantage on one of those chances but like i said earlier..i wouldnt want to go out with someone that still has feelings for their ex.
     
  16. You're going to learn this the hard way my friend. The things that attract her to him, are the same poisons that cause people like him to cheat and be abusive. Dysfunctional people flock together. Birds of a feather. My advice is to run, quickly and avoid being consumed by her, or this drama.
     
  17. pro

    pro Guest

    Lol

    Lol Thats Good!!!! :)
     
  18. CoOkieS

    CoOkieS New Member

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    :gtfo2:
     
  19. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    No, I wouldn't suggest that. They'll break up, she'll rebound with some other jerk and you'll be left wondering what happened. I say step away. Don't get your hopes up...if it happens it happens but don't halt you life waiting for the opportunity.
     
  20. CoOkieS

    CoOkieS New Member

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    thing is. shes not a bad person at all, you guys make it seem like shes some whore or something when shes not. but i see your points
     
  21. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    No, I don't think she's a bad person at all. I have no idea how she is. I've just seen this pattern before. You'll be waiting for the breakup...it either never happens, or when it does...it usually never turns out the way you want it to.
     
  22. I have no opinion regarding her sexuality, or her character but I do know people, and I do know psychology. There are multiple red flags here, and you don't want to see them. You need to snap the fuck out of it and see that actions speak louder than words, and that she's not with you, because she is attracted to the abuse she receives from being mistreated, and that type of personality.

    You'll be waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and then your resentment will grow. Gradually if you're a foolish man, you'll condemn all women for the acts of this one, and then it'll be even harder to move on.

    Take a tip, ti, ti, tip from me: Take all your hopes and dreams of this relationship, and start looking at her actions, and what's she's done - not what she's told you, or ever said. If you see that, you'll see where you really are in this chess game. You're not even on the board, since Chess is a game built for two, so you better get a clue and get with the program fast, before you waste another missed opportunity.
     
  23. CoOkieS

    CoOkieS New Member

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    thanks for all the advice dude and im gonna take your tip on this one..

    :sadwavey: hopes and dreams
     
  24. I know it's really hard. It's not pleasant having to move away from someone, but the very fact that it's so hard should tell you something about it. It's the right thing I believe. But, you must ask yourself if it's "right" for you? Are you healthier, and better able to find a good relationship by moving away from someone like her? Based on what you've told us - Yes I think you are. Now you're free to find someone who will respect you and take the time to be "with you". Plus you don't want to make a habit of ignoring red flags.

    If you see something that doesn't seem right, don't make excuses, don't deny it. Stand up and move on quick.

    I take my own advice here too, and it's painful sometimes, but it's much better than wasting time.
     
  25. CoOkieS

    CoOkieS New Member

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    im still not sure if its right or not but the way you put it, it seems like the best way to go..
     

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