what would YEW DEW?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Jimeigh, Feb 14, 2008.

  1. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    Ok, I am bored at work and nobody is talking, so I thought this would be interesting to do.

    In this thread, at various times, I'm going to post hypothetical scenarios and see how you guys would react to them just for shits and giggles. Maybe it'll spark some discussion and/or be funny. I'll post a scenario for the guys and the girls here can come and in and say how they'd react to what you guys say.

    Might be fun. Might be a huge fucking failure of a thread. Who knows? But I am bored.

    Anyways...

    scenario 1:

    You're 19 years old and the middle child in a roman-catholic, italian, family of seven. You have brown hair and green eyes, and so does the rest of your family, and your youngest sister has curly hair. you're wearing jeans and a black Tshirt with a logo of some sort on the front. You're kind of attractive, but not some kind of supermodel. the most attractive member of your family is your oldest sister, who as it turns out may be only a half sister of yours biologically. Years ago, your mother was raped by a mailman and has been going through years of therapy for it. your father and she had been having sex, and they're pretty sure that your father is also your older sister's father, but the timeline would match up pretty good for the mailman to have been the father. at anyrate, times are hard, paying for your mother's therapy and various sextoys and all, so you take the helm as a pizza delivery man for the family business. you're delivering a pizza to a customer and when you get there you realize the customer is totally naked and totally hot. she had just been fucked by three guys before you got there, all of whom were wearing condoms, so everything seems kosher. now the lady says to you that you've got some nice pecs, nice delts, and a sweet sweet ass and she'd like to ride that shit, but she actually just wants a pizza. so you drop off the pizza and get the money. you leave the home, and hear a gunshot go off. the lady was just shot, and 3 of the men run out wearing skimasks. you dial 911 and tell the police what just happened.
    when you get home your mother asks you to take out the trash. you do so. and when you're outside you are offered crack cocaine by a hooker. you turn it down, but you smoke some weed later with the hooker that night in a dark alley. in the alley a man in a trenchcoat appears and tells you that you've been living in a false reality and in reality, the human race is enslaved to cyborg pandabears on the planet Garflax 9. if you swallow the red pill you will have an acid trip and die unless you drink enough water. if you swallow the blue pill you will wake up in the real world. if you take none of the pills, the man will have to kill you because you know too much.

    what would you do?
     
  2. Sephiroth13

    Sephiroth13 Beginning of the End

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    take the blue pill and join Neo on his search of the Matrix Main frame.
     
  3. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Not read all that shit by you, thats for fucking sure
     
  4. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Oh, and switch religions.

    Edit: I like pandas.

    DOUBLE EDIT: BUT NOT CYBORGS WTF I CAN'T ANSWER THIS QUESTION TO MANY CONFLICTING VALUES
     
  5. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I'd gouge the man's eyes out and choke him to death, then I'd finish fucking the hooker
     
  6. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    These are SCENARIOS. They are hypothetical. They are made up.
     
  7. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Listen, dude, I can't just NOT consider the fact that the pandas are cyborgs.

    I WOULD NEVER get involved with cyborg pandas, and IF I did, i would dump that hooker bitch for being involved with those sorts of folk, it shows she's drama queen whore and she's going to get new boobs and cheat on me and then my e-friends will be all "i told you so."
    Fucking cyborgs.
     
  8. FEELSGOODMEN

    FEELSGOODMEN New Member

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    wait can i have sex with my sister?
     
  9. fray

    fray New Member

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    go back and have sex with the pizza lady's corpse?

    wait...did she die, or is she still warm and in the process of bleeding out?
     
  10. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    HOLY SHIT, you guys, can you NOT dwell on all the stupidest of details and just deal with the actual issue?
     
  11. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    listen, the pizza lady doesnt matter, if you'd like you could think of her as a chinese takeout lady.
     
  12. fray

    fray New Member

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    is she like a fat old chinese takeout lady, or a skinny hot young chinese takeout lady? or ladyboy?

    actually you just have 50,000,000 details, so there is no way to make any decisions on your insane scenario. But i'm guessing you know that already.
     
  13. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Oh, well in that case. Steal trinity's outfit, fuck the dead chinese take out ladyboy, kill my sister, fuck your sister, tell my mom to get a fucking job i don't need to be supporting your ass and get plugged back into the matrix as supreme overlord of earth.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2008
  14. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Where the fuck is viper. Did he get a date?
     
  15. fray

    fray New Member

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    No, he's probably broken down and is masturbating to thoughts of you in a trinity suit, fucking the dead chinese take out ladyboy, killing your sister, fucking his sister, telling your mom off and getting plugged back into the matrix as the supreme overlord dominatrix with your bootheel in his back.
     
  16. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    It's amazing how you guys decided to fixate on an amazingly insignificant detail.

    If the pizza lady thing throws anybody else off, just ignore it.
     
  17. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    Scenario 2:

    you are superman, but unlike superman, your hair is blonde and spikey and your an alien from the planet Jupitron. Also, unlike superman, you're much weaker than humans when exposed to the light of a yellow sun. So you're strollin along one day and you see an old lady crossing the street when a man mugs her and shoots her in the face, steals her purse, and spits on her bonnet. knowing that you're a weak little shit, you dont do anything. you're actually too weak to even call the police. so you go back home and watch TV for a while and it's the old turner classics and shit, so that sucks. so your friend Richard comes over and he tells you that he just got a job that requires him to move to mexico forever, but he'd be happy if you go along. now you're a racist, so you say fuck that shit, i'm staying here in america where it's warm. you're also not very smart. so your friend calls you a dumb cunt and hits you in the face with a napkin, and your arteries all break at the same time. you get sent to the hospital and they're like, "holy shit we have no idea wtf this dude's deal is, he aint human." so they were about to just let you die, when Dr. Gregory House comes in and busts out a major diagnosis all over the operation table so big that the women just have to moan. so you're fixed and your shit smells like cinnamon buns so you eat some. it gives you the power to see through translucent plastic: something you werent able to do before. so you try to rob a bank but fail horribly and decide to go home and eat some breakfast. all you have is rice krispies and corn flakes. which do you eat?
     
  18. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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  19. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Wait, that depends, is Richard in mexico yet? Is it too far to go get huevos rancheros as his new place?
     
  20. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    we could talk about scooby doo in here if that will make u feel better
     
  21. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    What would you do
    If you were asked to give up your dreams for freedom?
    What would you do
    If asked to make the ultimate sacrifice?

    Would you think about all them people
    Who gave up everything they had?
    Would you think about all them War Vets
    And would you start to feel bad?

    Freedom isn't free
    It costs folks like you and me
    And if we don't all chip in
    We'll never pay that bill
    Freedom isn't free
    No, there's a hefty fuckin' fee.
    And if you don't throw in your buck 'o five
    Who will?

    What would you do
    If someone told you to fight for freedom?
    Would you answer the call
    Or run away like a little ?
    'Cause the only reason that you're here
    Is 'cause folks died for you in the past
    So maybe now it's your turn
    To die kicking some ass

    Freedom isn't free
    It costs folks like you and me
    And if we don't all chip in
    We'll never pay that bill
    Freedom isn't free
    Now there's a hefty fuckin' fee
    And if you don't throw in your buck 'o five
    Who will?

    You don't throw in your buck 'o five. Who will?
    Oooh buck 'o five
    Freedom costs a buck 'o five
     
  22. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  23. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Now thats what i'm thinking about :wtc:
     
  24. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    :rofl:

    Christ.
     
  25. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    God damn that just give me a huge fucking erection.

    Thanks a lot.
     

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