What to do? AKA The Nick Robinson Drug and Depression thread This might be long so bare with me... In high school i was a good kid, never smoke, drank or did anything. Then, you guessed it, i go to college and everything changes. I start drinking hard 3-4 nights a week, pot follows then the rest of them. Fast forward to today, well yesterday. I start my last year of college this monday and im begining to really worry about my drinking and drug abuse. On any given weekend (Thursday friday and saturday) ill drink around 100 drinks (shots, mixed drinks or beer). I used to smoke pot everyday but quit that without too much trouble last year. Alchoholism runs in my family. My moms been worried about it me for a long time and i finally acknowleged there may be a problem. Last night i decided i wouldnt drink any more. The last two times i got drunk something weird happened. I used to drink to just have fun and party hard. But the last times ive been depressed while drinking and then am depressed for the next few days. Thats something that never happened to me before. I also started getting bad cravings to drink. At that point i knew there was a problem. I also did too much coke over the summer... well i did it 5 times but when i did it i went insane, and would just blow line after line after line. Id leave the club to do a line and just never come back because id rather sit in the car or the hotel room and keep blowing lines. Everyone else who was doing it with me told me i was out of control. Doing coke definitly triggered something inside of me. I know i cant do it anymore. I told my mom I would start going to AA meetings as well as a counsouler for abuse at school. I know i have a problem stopping once i start, at least before. Id try and not drink much then before i knew it someone has bought me 10 shots and who says no at that point. I dont think i am a full blown alchoholic yet but im well on my way. I know i cant continue the party lifestyle i had the last four years. But thats what everyone i know does - they party thursday through saturday and then if something comes up on the weekday (some event aka excuse to drink) then we do that too. I dont know how to have fun sober. Ive made some great friends at school but all we do is party. We throw huge parties at our house, we go to the bars where we know all the bartenders. I had the entire 'scene' figured out. What the hell am i supposed to do if im not drinking? Thats the problem im most scared of now, as i leave tomorrow for school. What else do you do at a bar besides drink? What else do you do on the weekends besides drink if all your friends are drinking? I know how drinking hard made me feel the enxt day, but staying inside in my room will depress me just as much. Yes, go find a new hobby. Thats fine during the day, but what about from 9-3am when im usually drunk? Go to sleep at 10 you say? No that wont work in a house full of drunk people being loud. They say theres never a good time to quit, theres always an excuse to keep drinking. I have recgonized that i have a problem and am willing to start taking steps to fix it. Right now im trying to tell myself that i can go out 2 nights a week instead of 3-4 and limit myself to 3 beers. But theni figure whats the point in having 3 beers as you dont really get a buzz of that so its just empty calaories. I could go to the bar and drink water. Sometimes I can do that if im in the right mood. I can just go there and just be full of energy and not need to drink. But a lof of times i cant. I just dont know. Im pretty sure you guys are going to say i have to stop altogether. MAybe that is the best but god damnit this is my senior year, the year you are supposed to go wild. I really do not know how i can possibly stay sober all year. I dont want to make promises to myself that i wont be able to keep because that will only make things worse. Youll probably say find new friends but i dont want to make new friends , its my senior year. I want to spend it with the good friends i already have. Im worried that quiting will send me into a depression but drinking as much as i do will do the same. Im not sure why all of the sudden i got this way. I always planned on stopping after my senior year. I know i need to curb my drinking but i just dont know what to do.