SRS What to do with family members with poor money managment?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by newboundguy, Dec 1, 2008.

  1. newboundguy

    newboundguy New Member

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    So some background, my parents divorced and it was a messy split(courts lengthy etc) when I was just about to turn 18. The house was sold, and my mom took the money bought a smaller house and her and my sister lived there. I I went with my dad and my sister with mum. Anyways my dad supports me financially( i live by myself) and I work by him as well, I also go to school. So that's fine on that.

    But my mom has wasted all the money that she got from the divorce ( I was angry at her for a long time for handling the divorce in such a bad way). She bought pointless things like expensive tvs, tons of clothes, etc... my sister although living with her, does not help her with the expenses(my sister is older than I am).

    So now everytime I talk to my mom, she brings up her money problems. I feel bad for her, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to help her by giving what minimal money I have because she'll spend it on junk. I told her to sell the junk, but she's busy working a minimum wage job and has few gaps.
    I guess I feel sad for her situation, but she took A LOT of money that was within the family which was meant for all of us(my dad worked for all of it).

    I don't know, it's not really a question I guess, but more of a vent. :(
     
  2. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Tell her that she's in her money troubles because she wasted all the money she had, and that you have no sympathy for her. That should hopefully at least stop the complaining.

    By no means should you feel at all obligated to help her out. She's responsible for supporting herself, and she's in her situation solely due to her being bad with her money
     
  3. EYOB

    EYOB Guest

    Wow, that sucks. What prompted her to go on the shopping spree ?? Did she feel like venting as well ??

    Reminds me of my older sister mooching off of me.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    This is why you make a will or a prenup dictating how your money will be split among the family.

    Do not get involved with someone who has bad financial habits, even if they are family. It will just pull you into the mess too.
     
  5. EYOB

    EYOB Guest

    :ugh:

    Are you giving advice to the poster or his father....
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    a little of both.

    There is no reason the TS can't learn from this.
     
  7. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    :ugh:

    granted I'm reading a bit into this, but if they both started with about the same assets, were married for 18+ years, then got divorced, a prenup wouldn't have affected anything in the original story.



    TS, you're an adult now. Tell her how you feel. Tell her she's alienating you by always bringing up her money problems and it's making you not want to visit her. Then give her a few days to process it and go see her on whatever schedule you usually do. If she brings it up again tell her again. It's habit to her now so it'll take a few times to break it. Give her a chance. But also be ready........she may not want to break the habit so you're going to have to decide if it bugs you enough to stop seeing her.
     
  8. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    You should not ignore your family problems, but at the same rate you should not just give your mother money. She as already proven she cannot handle it.

    If I were you I would help your mother setup a budget and have her keep track of every penny she earns and spends. Set a goal of she must save at least 20% of her paycheck every month (just an example).

    Yes she will have to cut back on shopping and many luxuries, but at least she will learn how to manage her money.
     

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