SRS What to do next...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Sirc, Jan 31, 2008.

  1. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    I'm really bad at this whole dating thing.

    All of my past girlfriends have been because of dancing. Tap, ballet, jazz, etc. Most of the girls there were really sheltered and it was easy for me to get a girlfriend because they were in such high supply and I was in such high demand (same age, male and not gay. done deal.)

    I'm pretty much done with dancer chicks because they are fucking high maintenance as fuck and annoying as hell.

    This new girl I've been on a few dates with has been very awesome. I don't know what to do next. Usually if a girl isn't completely smitten with me in 2 or 3 days, I usually just aborted and moved on to the next one.

    The last date we went on was really good. We had some lunch and then went for a walk in the park. We talked had fun, had laughs. The only awkward situation was when we happened upon a tree stump and on the face of the stump, there was a big <3 carved in there with "C+M" in it.

    Her name is Megan and mine is Chris.

    She just looked at me with the :eek3: look and I quickly saved the situation with, "Remember when we did that all those years ago? Oh how the time has passed..." and continued our walk.

    Her birthday was also on the 20th so I gave her a birthday gift of a movie she's been wanting and a card that I had made with some calligraphy shit I have.

    Where to next? What kind of date should the next one be?
     
  2. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    dvd n your apartment? 3rd or 4th date, a lot of girls expect sex....else friendzone
     
  3. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    She's the kind of girl who wants to be in love with someone before having sex. Which I don't mind too much. If I'm hurting for it, I can always just run back to the high-maintenance bitch girls until we're "official" or whatever the fuck.

    But, I probably won't. I really like this one, and hopefully can make this work for long term.
     
  4. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    :uh: well that is going to suck after about a 2 weeks to a month. make her official as soon as possible to get the ball rolling then. some girls have idiotic time tables in their head.

    id still say go for the DVD; if she doesnt put out, you get to cuddle/make out whatever anyway.

    If shes not into that then dinners good, ice skating, snowboarding, something active is great. Karaoke is one of my faves.
    BTW if you want a ltr with this girl you might want to reconsider your attitude, relationships work best if you go in with the best intentions.
     
  5. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    oh other question. have you kissed her. its expected at about the 2nd date; latest 3rd, some will give you 4 but after that its over--- friendzone.

    usually after 2 and no kiss = friendzone....
     
  6. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    I know. That's why I'm going to just hold out. No big deal.

    She's kind of new to town so I've just been showing her around town. She's really into getting spooked by things. If you remember I made a big thread about going out to a graveyard and had a ball out there. I told her about it and she wants to go see it. So I'm thinking maybe go grab some food and then head out to the graveyard.
     
  7. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    She kissed me on the cheek after I dropped her off. I usually don't make that move until the third date.
     
  8. Anudist

    Anudist Turnin' Jesus on, one lightswitch at a time.

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    Sounds like a thoughtful date, all be it creapy, but thoughtful. Get some food, do the graveyard thing, depending on time possibly back to your place for a movie or TV and dessert (real dessert).

    Doing something semi-active but being able to still talk is great for advancing any relationship.

    Make the move to kiss her by the end of the night, I'm sure you'll know when a good time will be (graveyard is a cool place to remember where your first kiss as a couple was).
     
  9. Ladybug

    Ladybug Guest

    third date is perfect 'move making' time, especially since it seems to be going so well!
    You could wine & dine her with a little live music somewhere in the equation, take her on a beach walk, a candle-lit picnic *aww*. I'm sure if you google 'perfect date' or something along those lines you'll find something you like =P
    Graveyard sounds super creepy and might get you a lote of close moments and hugs, hence the appeal of the 'scary movie date'.
    Whatever you decide make sure it's something you're at least semi-sure you'll both enjoy. You could even go bowling!
     
  10. SixSecrets

    SixSecrets New Member

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    Nothing wrong with taking it slow...actually it's kind os sweet. Do something fun on your next date..a together thing..bolwing as suggested, or just go out and goof around. Incidentally, running back and getting dancing dorked is not a good idea and I wonder where your morals and feelings lie with this new girl. How would she feel if she knew you did that? Just wondering...
     
  11. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Who isn't. Until you get a lot of experience by making a lot of mistakes, you'll struggle. We all go through it.

    I often recommend dancing to men who are interested in meeting women. It's wise to choose activities you enjoy which have a High female/Male ratio. I prefer 1 guy to 10 women, personally. Competition is low, success rate is high.

    You couldn't have possibly dated them all. Don't let your experience of a few, even more than a few stop you. I assure you, there are good women who enjoy dance. But at any rate, you do have plenty of other places to meet women. Again, look for high female ratios.

    Have you touched her hand, shoulder, escalated past the comfort zone by kissing her? Mystery Kiss close champ!

    You: Would you like to kiss me?
    Her: Yes (So you two kiss)

    You: Would you like to kiss me?
    Her: Maybe (So you say "Let's find out" and you kiss her"

    You: Would you like to kiss me?
    Her: No (So you say "Well I didn't say you could, it just looked like you had something on your mind")

    If she says no, it means you have to build more comfort with her, continue talking, and escalate physical touch by playing games where you two use your hands together. Find ideas online, such as palm reading (Even if you don't know how, bullshit your way, it's all in fun)

    Make up games with your hands. The more you touch, the more comfortable she'll get. But make sure that touching is indirect and gradually personal.

    The perfect opportunity to say "Wow, I didn't know Destiny sent written messages!" Or, since the moment has passed you could say "Remember that Tree with the C/M and heart carved in it? Wow, that was strange, it's either a really strange coincidence, or God thinks you have the hots for me."

    Be playful.

    Hi Chris.

    What a wasted opportunity, but fortunately for you I gave you an "afterthought" idea to reignite the idea again. Use it, the ladies love my wit.

    I know, I saw the last thread.

    A private date in your bedroom. Seriously. Pick her up, pick up her favorite fast food or order a pizza, and go back to your house. Have some cool little "intimate" ideas in mind to get you two touching a little more. The "hand" ideas work well. If you were sitting in front of me I'd show you a bunch, but they'd be impossible to convey by writing without me investing a lot of time.

    You: Whoa, let me see your hand?
    Her: What? Huh? Why?
    You: I just noticed something.
    Her: *Gives her hand)
    You: Wow (You stroke her hand a little, using your index finger.
    Her: What is it, what are you seeing?
    You: This right here (Point at some random line)
    Her: Oh?
    You: This is your line of success. It tells you the things you'll achieve in your life!
    Her: Really? No way (Or...I don't believe in this stuff)

    If she believes, continue:

    You: Yeah, it shows you're going to have really strong relationships with good friends, and meet a really great guy. It also shows you'll excel in your career!
    Her: OMG, really?
    You: (Start stroking her hand, and touching her fingers)
    You: Oh and this over here, this is your line of intimacy. You're a really sensitive person romantically, you really like to show your parter you care, by giving them kisses, and saying you care a lot. Oh and you like to give them little gift reminders once in awhile.
    Her: OMG that is so me! Wow.

    If she doesn't believe.

    You: Oh really? Well you know the ancient chinese said that you can tell a lot by someones hands, very specific scientific observable things.
    Her: Really? Like what?
    You: Well you see here (Point to her palm below the fingers). Here you have very soft skin, (Or caloused) and it means you're not extremely physically active, such as lifting heavy items a lot, or in ring gymnastics. It shows you prefer gentler activities.
    Her: Wow, that's true.
    You: And here, your nails, oh wow they are nice nails (Assuming she doesn't bite them), these show you're obviously not a nail biter and that you take pride in caring for your appearance. Your nails are healthy, meaning you eat reasonably well too.

    This is all bullshit. Some of it's a little true kind of, but most of it's bullshit. You get the point.
     
  12. zero xeal

    zero xeal Guest

    That tree stump incident could have landed her in your bed if you played it off correctly, just for future reference
     
  13. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    :ugh2:

    kiss on the cheek doesnt count as a kiss.. . but oh well. good luck, she prolly wants to get dicked down as much or more than you want to give it to her


    no girl says "I love to fuck all the strangers im not in love with"
     
  14. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    I kind of want to take it slow with this one. I'm not too worried about it. That's the vibe I'm getting from her as well.

    I wasn't the one who suggested the graveyard, that was something of her fascination and she mostly suggested it. So I figure that'll probably be our next date.

    How should I have played off that tree stump thing?
     
  15. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    You can still play it. I wrote about it up above.
     
  16. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    Whoa, cool. I don't know how I missed that I read everything. :)

    Thanks.
     
  17. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Well I tend to write so much that the options overwhelm people sometimes. I like to be thorough. :o
     
  18. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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  19. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    lol.. you went back there for a pic? stalkerish, dont let her see that as your background on your pc

    edit: til after you hook up
     
  20. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    Nah, I took it while we were there really quick. I forgot about it until just a few minutes ago.
     
  21. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I like the graveyard idea :rofl:
     
  22. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    Her idea. :)
     
  23. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    Ok, so I'm so lost.

    I take time to learn a bunch of different skills so I can be useful in any given situation. But with this, I just suck so much. I don't know how interested she is in me. She answers my phone calls and replies to my texts immediately. She likes to go have lunch and shit with me, but I don't know how to tell if she's contemplating some kind of relationship with me or not.

    I think I might just be freaking out a little and overthinking this too much. She's a smart girl and pretty independent, so I don't know if I'm just reading her wrong or not.

    We'll see, she had to work all weekend so there was no date. I'm going to try again for this coming weekend and hopefully make some progress.
     
  24. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Have you been escalating the relationship? Holding hands, touching her, being playful? Or do you two just sit and talk "comfortably?"

    When I'm confused that's when I turn up the heat and start pushing boundaries. She's sending cues all the time. Does she laugh at what I say? Does she smile at me while she talks to me? Does she call me a lot? Does she touch me ever, does she stroke her hair when I talk? Does she try to make plans with me.

    At some point I just go for the kiss with the Kiss Close. It's my magic bullet for knowing where the ledge is.

    If you ask to make a date and the person says "Oh sorry I can't" -- then say, well let me know when you're available, I'd like to take you out.

    If the person counters with an offer, you're gold, if they don't and just say "ok, I'll call you something or something that's not concrete" -- you know it's going no where. People know when they have free time for someone they like.
     
  25. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    Yes. All of that.


    She does everything except call. She's kind of busy trying to work and do school and hates talking on the phone (as do I) so she'll text me and I'll call her once in a while. But we mostly just communicate via texting as it's most convenient for the both of us. And she does try to make plans. She smiles, she laughs, she plays with her hair, etc.


    She makes counter offers.
     

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