SRS what to do...need opinions!

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by MWHC22, Nov 28, 2005.

  1. MWHC22

    MWHC22 Bier/Deutsch/Homebrew/ Packers/Blackhawks/Outdoor

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    k....so ive known this girl for almost 3 years...she was married for the first 2 then got a divorce. she has always been very physical interacting with me(kino-flirtatious touching) but not with any other guys i see her talking to...not even her husband when they were married.

    anywho diddn't see her for like 3 months almost after her divorce then we started to go out every few weeks or so and grab a bite to eat or what not or what not.

    so anyway 2 weeks ago i decided to go for the ole be more than friends plan and had my friend kari deliver a flower and hot choclate to her at work. after that she was even more physical in her interactions with me. we had set up a tentitive date last week and i was to call her and set some plans. she didn't answer her phone so i left a message. (she rarely answers her phone anway but normally she calls back.)

    she didn't call back. and the date never happened. i texted her and a bunch of my friends a mass happy thanksgiving message and she didn't text back. which is also weird since she is a text junky.

    now the situation is a little different than normal since i have known her for a while. now normally if a girl did this id just drop her from my life however this time i can't really do that since i am her friend and will see her again anyway.

    ive all but written this one off so far and i still might since im pretty disapointed that she did this and its out of charachter for her to do this without reason.

    so my question is.....should i treat this as a lost cause after seeing if she tries to make up for it or not........or.....do i lay low and play it cool before giving it another go a couple weeks down the road. So is she doing this to test me....playing hard to get and see how i react if she stands me up and see if ill be a little puppy and call her 5 times since she didn't call back.....or is she being a confused standard women that doesn't know what she wants from me or any other guy for that matter.(which might be true since she was married and was the one to choose divorce....kinda spells she doesn't know what she wants to a certain extent.)

    also know that iv'e crossed that line of trying to be more than friends so my choices are pretty much go for it or drop her from my life. since i am attracted to her and i don't know if i can be around her with out acting on what i want. Dunno if thats normal but i never really have been able to be friends with a women ive tried to be together with and got denied. just too much weird emotions going on i guess between us when ive been in that situation before.
     
  2. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    She's not interested. That's what her actions have shown you. She knows you like her, you tried to set up a romantic date, she dissed you hard. No matter what excuses she give syou when you finally talk to her again, unless she actually hooks up with you then her answer is no.

    The main problem here is you waited too long to let her know you were interested in her romantically. Then when you finally made a move you did it in a very weak way by sending flowers and choclate with a friend... Women want a confident man. Confident men ask a woman out when he is interested, he doesn't hint.

    The step now would be to move on. You can't even really be friends like you were anymore, you've crossed that line. You can still remain friends but she will always suspect you are still liking her and that will always put a strain on it. You can even deny it but deep down she will still think you have feelings. Move on, find another woman, and this time, ask her out within 3 weeks of you deciding you are attracted to her-and do this in person, not over the phone, not over the internet, and not through friends with gifts.
     
  3. B_RowL

    B_RowL OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  4. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    You were always the guy she couldn't get. Then she got you. There's no more magic. Sorry man, it's over.
     
  5. MWHC22

    MWHC22 Bier/Deutsch/Homebrew/ Packers/Blackhawks/Outdoor

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    baaahhh....thats what i was thinking prolly happened. just wanted to see if others came up with the same conclusion. i was thinking i should have tried sooner....but its hard when were both busy and i only see her every few weeks or even longer a couple times. damn women and their weird way of doing things.
     
  6. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Yeah, you're done with her.

    Much like DiggityDogg said, you waited too long to get with her. I've got a concept that when you meet a woman, she places you in one of two places: A friend or a lover. When you are a friend, it's like you are a child to the mother. She may really like you or even love you, but it's like a mother does to her child. At no time will the mother ever have adult feelings for the child. When you are the lover, well that's self-explanitory.

    So basically you acted like her son asking her to have a sexual (adult) relationship with her. Sure she's gone, it's unnatural for her. This is why I think guys need to ask a woman out relatively quickly - like DiggityDogg said. I personally think you need to make a move within 2-3 times of meeting her and talking to her. You basically have to make your intentions clear, that yuo are a man and you want and adult relationship with her. Women know a real man has intentions to be close to her, and she expects it. So I'd rather ask and get shot down (so I can move on) than to not ask and get friendzoned for 3 years...

    But at least it seems like you read the signs right. If she were interested, she would have answered the phone, shown up on the date completely dressed and made up to the nines, and would have been all over you.

    Actions speak louder than words with women.

    I'd recommend you back away. No more calls, no text messages or that crap. Wait for her to call you and then just ignore your dumb move. Don't talk about it again and you can get back to being "friends" if that is what you want.
     
  7. MWHC22

    MWHC22 Bier/Deutsch/Homebrew/ Packers/Blackhawks/Outdoor

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    yeah i wish i would have moved faster..... i feel like a dumbass for not doing it. I dunno what my problem was...its prolly since ive known her so long i didn't know what to do.

    what should one do when youve known her for so long? she was married when i first met her. and technically i did make a move after about 4 times of hanging out after her divorce. im not really sure what else i could have done except just been more aggressive from the time she was divorced. but i think i was dumb though too by being worried if it was too soon after her divorce.

    any advice on stuff like that? normally i don't find my self in situations like this and i was a bit confused on what to do.
     

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