What to do after a breakup

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by CMoney85, Sep 18, 2007.

  1. CMoney85

    CMoney85 New Member

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    What do you guys do after your GF of 3.2 years breaks up with you? I can't keep busy really, all of my friends have alot going on in their lives to even have time to hang out and 3/4 of them have GF's of their own so they dont even want to go out and be a wingman or just to go out and have a good time. What do you guys do?
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    3.2 years? :hsugh:

    Ok sorry, back to the issue at hand. What do you do? You stop talking/seeing her in all cases. Get rid of things possibly in your room that remind you of her. Don't check her facebook/myspace/etc. page to see how she's doing. Don't ask other people about her. Out of sight out of mind is the quickest way to get over her.

    In the meantime, if your friends don't make time to hang out with you then they are shitty friends. You need to go out, even if by yourself to try new things and keep yourself busy. I don't know what things in specifics because I dont know what you like. But whatever you do, do not sit at home day aftrer day pining for her and doing nothing.
     
  3. CMoney85

    CMoney85 New Member

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    yeah well here it goes, she cheated on me with this other guy, they didn't have sex, they just made out, so that really hurt me but we decided to take a break because she wanted to figure why she did this to me. She stopped talking to him and she told me the next night about what happened. So we took a break, which really wasn't a break cause we have a lot of the same friends so we saw each other probably twice a week still for 2 weeks. Now fast forward to this week she told me she doesn't know what she wants anymore and doesn't even know what she is doing right now with her life (as she says) and she is now hanging out with a different guy that i sort of know but i don't see anything happening between them because he is a douche. She still says to me that she doesn't want to say never to us being together again, she wants to make sure I am the right guy for her to be with forever which i told her i wasn't going to take all of this laying down and told her the chances of that ever happening are slim to none of us getting back together. So i guess I just don't know what to do, i have read everything on this forum and haven't followed any advice because i didn't want to take this laying down and doing nothing to try to get her back, even though thats what everyone is telling me to do. She isn't an ordinary girl she always put me and other people in front of her own feelings and not being selfish so i asked for another chance and she has said no to that because she can't see me right now after everything she has done to me. I bought her the first movie we ever watched together and the first candy car we shared (Yes i know its corny) and put it in her mailbox for her to find. After all of this i have decided to give it up and So I decided i am not going to wait it out and just move on and if she does call me that i am not going to answer.........I am really sorry this is long and probably doesn't make much sense but i just had to get it out.......Thanks
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2007
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Why should you be the one trying to get her back??? If anything she should and might be the one begging for you to come back eventually when she goes around dating other guys and realizes that you are the one she wants.

    Good for you for telling her you aren't waiting for her. That's what someone with self respect does. For now just try and forget about her and see what else is out there, because guess what.....there's a lot more girls out there.
     
  5. CMoney85

    CMoney85 New Member

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    yes very true, and it is going to help i think when i move into this house with 3 other guys that like to party and have a good time (hopefully girls will come over)

    About the cheating thing, i mean it hurt and it did for a little while but i just wanted to forgive because to me everyone does make mistakes but she did tell me she is attracted to this guy but that was it and she told me they would never work out long term. This was the girl i was going to marry and it was going to come soon and she says she wishes she would have known that because our communication in the last 6 months wasn't the greatest so we didn't really talk about it long term even though i know both of us were still thinking about it........I still want to marry her but i am not going to wait for her.....(if that makes any sense)

    edit - also about the waiting thing she says she doesn't want me to wait and date other girls......even though i really dont want to but i will........
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Makes sense. Maybe this situation will make you both realize that you should get back together eventually, who knows. At least you learned why communication is so important. My cousin was with a woman for 4 years and apparently he never brought up marriage as well. One day he went and bought her a ring and planned a trip to Hawaii for them where he would pop the question...A few days before he told her about the trip she broke up with him saying he would never commit and had gone back to her ex who would do anything to marry her. However, he is better off now.

    Good luck with the new living situation. That should definitely help as well.
     
  7. CMoney85

    CMoney85 New Member

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    yeah the marriage thing never came up and i told her this is because i wanted it to be a surprise but little did i know i was in for the surprise. :hs:
     
  8. CMoney85

    CMoney85 New Member

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    yeah i dont know thanks for talking to me and understanding i appreciate it.
     
  9. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I know what you're going through man. I didn't get cheated on, but my g/f of 6 years broke up with me saying a lot of the same things about needing to figure stuff out, find herself before she commits, etc... and much like you, I was planning on getting us a place this year (as a surprise) and was hoping to pop the question within the next year or two. Unfortunately, I never told her that and she assumed I didn't care about marriage or a future. Of course when I told her the truth after we broke up she threw out the same line of "I wish you would have told me, things would have been different", etc..

    Point is, I know what you're going through, many others here have gone through the same thing, so you are not alone. It sucks that your friends don't have time for you; it might be time to make some new friends because if there was EVER a time when a guy needs his friends it's when he gets dumped by someone he loves.

    Try your best to keep busy and be strong. She WILL try and contact you here and there where she gets doubts about her breaking it off and gets lonely. DO NOT go confessing your feelings and apologizing and such when she does this. Either ignore her phone calls or if you do decide to pick up the phone then be cool and let her know that you are moving on.

    No one says you have to jump into another relationship, but take this as a great opportunity to meet people and spend your time the way you see it is best served.
     
  10. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Gym, Masturbation, Hobbies, New Friends?
     
  11. alo816

    alo816 New Member

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    Go to the gym. I started hittin the gym 7 months ago when my ex and I broke it off. Never looked back. Builds major confidence and you feel so much better about yourself. Go out with your boys, have a good time and make sure you meet some girls along the way.
     
  12. V!

    V! New Member

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    Pretty much sums up what you should do.

    Gym - outlet for extra energy and time you now have

    Hobbies - great way to meet like minded people and possibly a new girl, also keeps you busy, can meet new friends

    New Friends - no reminder of the past

    Most of fun, go out and have fun, if you are desperate for her, it's sometimes is a turn-off, trust me....I know...:o
     
  13. V!

    V! New Member

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    :werd:
     
  14. CMoney85

    CMoney85 New Member

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    wow i guess i am not the only one our situations sound the exact same! Almost Scary! :eek3:
     
  15. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    1.17 gigawatts!

    um ... get a life? start doing stuff. take up hobbies.

    and let this be a lesson to you: you made your gf your life, you didnt keep enough of it for urself
     
  16. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    When it happened to me i thought i was the only one too.... but after a while you will start to find (through this place, through talking to people, through listening to music) that many others deal with the same.
    However, how you deal with it and how it all turns out in the end is up to you. Good luck man. Keep yourself busy and stay strong... hitting up the gym is a GREAT idea.
     
  17. SRT910

    SRT910 New Member

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    Mate there is some good advice here, i can summarize some stuff.

    -Please don't try get back with her, the best thing is to never talk to her again. Trying to be friends etc just doesn't work, it might for 1 out of like 100 people but just leave it.

    -goto the gym with a buddy as said above.

    -get a solid male friend group and go out and get pissed then chat up some girls at you local clubs

    -also if you have mutual friends don't stop seeing them, remember they are YOUR FRIENDS TOO!

    -Are you at university? IF so maby there is a councilor you can go see they can really help if there good, only need to see them one or two times. Also real good if you need some sort of extensions for assignments etc.
     
  18. Cumstang02

    Cumstang02 New Member

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    Gym, take classes on playing an instrument, dance classes...etc.
     

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