SRS What should you do with your life?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Coottie, May 25, 2009.

  1. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    How the fuck should I know?

    I'm currently mostly satisfied with my life but that hasn't always been the case and it can certainly change in the future. Guess what, everyone else is somewhere on this same satisfaction scale. Some are more or less satisfied than I am and others are about the same.

    So....how does one decide on a career that makes any sense to them? Well most people ask others that they trust. However, unless the person responding is conscious of their own unrealized dreams permeating their responses, they will usually tell you what they would do....if they were in your shoes.

    That advice may or may not help you and if the person giving the advice is one that is trying to have you validate their life choices or accomplish something they wish they would have pursued *cough* parents *cough*, they may be quite compelling in their arguments and use all kinds of flawed logic to convince you that they are correct and you should listen to them.

    However, I've always believed that there are no "wrong" paths in life. We have different needs and wants and what is good for one person maybe the absolute worst thing for another.

    So with this being graduating season and all, how in the world does one pick what they want to do for a living? I've struggled with this for many years now and I'm turning 42 today.....yes, I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. However, I currently find myself employed in a higher paying office job that a lot of people would kill for.....but I find that I'm constantly dreaming about the day when I leave.

    Many of the people that I associate with at work feel the same way and we all talk about it. We talk about what job would be better or what company would be better and many hours are spent dreaming about these better jobs. Some are blue-collar some white some don't have collars....lol. We all express fear in discovering that....oh shit....the grass really isn't any greener in that other job.....and that fear keeps us where we are....at least for now.

    So today, I came across an article where the author makes a case for trades. It's an excellent article and here it is if you're interested:
    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/24/magazine/24labor-t.html?_r=2&pagewanted=all

    Then I got to thinking about my mom's plumber. The guy grew up in a very nice home with lots of money and he went to a private school and college but found he really likes plumbing more. His parents shit a brick when he told them because they associated plumbers with lower class citizens....yet this guy lives in a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood so look who's laughing now. Then my mom told me that her former plumber (way back in the 60s and 70s) used to drive a Cadillac!

    Anyways....if you're graduating and struggling to find your profession/trade/lifework don't fret about it but do spend time investigating what you'd like to do. I would suggest you try many things to see what you enjoy more....then pursue that. You may also want to look at what you do when you're not getting paid....this may help lead you in a direction that would be a good fit for you.

    Bottom line tho, make up you're own mind about what you want to do for a living. It can be really scary and family members can exert TREMENDOUS force to get you to "DO IT THEIR WAY". I know....my family members are pros at this and it too me a long time to learn that my choices were just as valid as anyone elses.

    In looking back I wish I had had more guts to pursue my dreams....but then again, my path has been quite interesting so far so who knows. One thing's for certain.....there is a HUGE difference in my attitude now than when I was doing what others thought I SHOULD do. I may not be totally satisfied in my job now but I know for a fact that I can change it if it gets too bad. I keep my debt low and cash on hand so that I have the financial freedom to pursue my own path. So while I may not switch careers immediately, I do have more freedom to do so than many people in this world....but I worked my ass of for that freedom.

    Anyways, I'm not really sure why I wrote this other than to try and encourage others to follow their hearts. Have the guts to make your own choices...yes it can be scary but in the end, I'm infinitely happier that I stopped listening to others and simply made my own choices.

    Cliffs:
    Follow your own path and read this article:
    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/24/magazine/24labor-t.html?_r=2&pagewanted=all
    :)
     
  2. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    this is good advice. i myself am just now realizing that i spent two years investing in a career that i did not want. My parents did not impose it on me, but teachers from college did. I guess it could be two years wasted, but it was two years well spent for me to realize that i need to do something that I want. It could be worse, I could have spent decades doing something someone else wanted until I realized it.

    to you coottie, i have this question: Is life really that much better when you yourself pick something you want to do?

    I myself am at the point where I am going to finally pick something that will make me happy, but i wonder if it will really make me happy enough to be worth all the trouble it will take. (changing careers is not easy right now)
     
  3. *RARA*

    *RARA* New Member

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    ya for sure


    but why is it soooo hard to decide :s
     
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Exactly....which is what I did.

    Totally!!

    However it's soooooo important to also be realistic. Pursuing a career that you want to doesn't mean your life will automatically be better or that all of your problems will magically disappear. Work, no matter what you're doing, has challenges involved with it. Some days suck at work even when you're working in your dream job.

    I think everyone has dreams of some sort about just running away from it all. Usually when people focus on this new job, they focus on all the good that the new work will provide for them and totally ignore any of the bad. It's so important to NOT do this.

    However with that disclaimer there is simply no comparison to doing what you love!!

    What I found before pursuing a career of my choosing was a lot of things that I didn't realize had anything to do with my job choice. Things such as extreme difficulty waking up, extreme difficulty staying motivated while at work and lots of exhaustion on the weekends. This was ALL directly related to what I was doing and it all got much, much better when I pursued my career choice.

    I found that it didn't really even feel like I was working. I would go to work and stay late every day simply because I was having so much fun. I would push myself to overcome some obstacles and very often found that the day had just disappeared. I can't count how many times I looked up and thought, "Holy shit, it's 10pm....I must go home because I have to be back at work in a few hours."

    So yeah, it's totally different and totally worth it.

    It's never easy to change careers. It can be excruciatingly difficult and many people may tell you that you're making a mistake. That's why it's important to be realistic.

    It's totally worth the effort to find your life's work and this may change over time. Good luck in your journey.
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I've found it difficult to decide for a number of reasons. One is that I'm very curious about a lot of different things. So one profession sounds very interesting but it's really a good fit for me. I've found it helpful to differentiate between my interests between something deeper vs a hobby. Hobbies are difficult to make careers out of but are necessary diversions from life where as the deeper interests might be good career choices.

    Another issue I've had with deciding is the idea that I have to do this for the rest of my life. This idea is old and outdated but it still influences me. Workers today will change jobs every 2-3 years and may have 4-5 totally different careers over the course of their life. This was not the case in past generations.

    The other thing that's very difficult to know is what it's actually like to work in that job. People will tell you all kinds of different things and you'll form your own opinions while researching....then when you get in the job, it's totally different. Then if you find you've spent a lot of money getting to that point, you're kind of stuck/trapped. That can be brutal.

    This is why I think it's so important to really research jobs and do internships to figure out if you'd really like a certain job. Many people in life just don't understand or even encourage this type of searching. Many people in my family just said, "DO THIS" without thinking is THIS even a good fit for my personality.
     
  6. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I'm working on this stuff right now. I have a pretty damn good paying job for my age and education (21 not done with college) but after having worked here for 5 years. I'm MISERABLE. I work with lots of 16 year old kids and my boss is an enormous hypocrite and he's extremely immature. The kids call in sick all the time and I pick up the slack. My boss annoys me to the end of every nerve. My best friend works with me and he feels the same way, but neither of us can really find a job that pays over $15-$18/hour and offers medical benefits to a 20/21 year old kid who hasn't finished college. Especially in todays economy.
     
  7. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    what type of work do you do?
     
  8. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    I have no desire to take one path, no matter how much I enjoy it. Unless it's something like successful actor, owner of a Belgian brewery, or pornstar to women that have just been tested the day before, I'm not planning on sticking around any job or field. That's why I switch paths completely every few years and have since I was 14.

    What color is your parachute? also helped immensely with what I've liked in the past.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2009
  9. CRaiNK

    CRaiNK ЧЕМПИОН

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    good thread, saved/
     
  10. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Benefits can be found in many different jobs tho. I worked at Kinkos back in the mid 80s and they offered health insurance plans. You might be surprised if you look around.

    Also, you're young so you're not likely to need your insurance much...so you might check into catastrophic coverage. I may be naming it incorrectly but the idea is that you're on your own for normal stuff like doctors visits, ER, meds, shit like that....but if you have a really bad accident or illness, the insurance kicks in so you won't be stuck with 1/2 mill in med bills. So it prevents catastrophic loss to you. At your age, if you're in relatively good health, you can probably get this insurance at a really low price.

    Don't let limiting ideas stop you. These are all just issues that need to be addressed.
     
  11. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Yeah that sounds awesome to me....how old are you now and what type of work are you doing?
    I scanned that and when I was desperate, it really helped me also. I never bought it because I just needed and answer or some direction. Maybe I just needed a boost of confidence that I was on the right path....regardless of what others thought. Anyways, it helped me too even if I just read parts while I was in the bookstore.
     
  12. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    25. I'm a business owner right now but by summers end I'll be an HR consultant for the city for 6 months before I leave overseas. I can swing a deal and actually get a legitimate job in either Paris or Amsterdam so I'm taking it. I love both cities so I can't decide (I speak French but Dutch women are hot hot hot and the language makes me laugh).

    Or course this can and probably will change (Not the city thing though, I've already signed the contract).
     
  13. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    I find myself getting frustrated at work now, and also losing motivation a lot. sometimes i just say fuck this task because i dont want to do the work. I am always tired from work too. I have attributed my crappy boss to this, but find it invalid because there are plenty of other better bosses out there. but another thing is, in anything i do, i try to search for meaning in what i do. Like they say, doctors are doctors to help sick people, etc. the stuff i do, i really find it not that satisfying to myself. I have been thinking about changing to a different career for a few weeks now. Still need to think it out a bit, so i dont rush into it or anything
     
  14. Teh_Sponge

    Teh_Sponge Hey, I got a sub now...

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    i have to agree with the op

    do what you want. if you want to be a bum, be a bum. if you want to pick up trash, do it.
     

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