SRS what kind of co-worker are you?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by familyguy101, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    The kind of co-worker I am: My equals at work are all females. I have been working with all of them for over 1.5 years. I am not friends with any of them. I see them 4-5 hours a day, 5 days a week. Even after all this time I don't socialize with any of them, but they have all become good friends with each other. Even though I am of the opposite gender, it still seems like I should at least have some sort of rapport with them but I really don't. They treat me like I am a weirdo since every attempt they make to connect with me on a personal level, I reject. I don't understand completely why I do this, but part of it comes from my experience in dealing with women. I am a really silly person when you get to know me. As soon as girls get to know me for being silly/funny, they usually become "too comfortable" with me. When I say that they become "too comfortable", I mean that they see it as being OK to exploit me or embarrass me in front of many people. They simple don't understand that there are some lines they shouldn't be crossing. I know most of your advice will be to set the boundaries right off the bat. I would like to say right now that my only real interest in developing relationships with girls is to establish one where I can be myself, but the girls also treat me with respect and maturity. Vice versa as well, I would like girls to be comfortable being themselves around me.

    How can I do this? If I treat girls with respect, then they will return the favor. As soon as I expose my personality, it all flushes down the toilet.

    Also, what do you think these girls think of me? Do you think that they think I am a weirdo? I have heard that they say bad things about me. I have been a little harsh with some of them before, but not enough to justify them talking about me like that behind my back. It's also really annoying when I walk into a room and they are in there and all of a sudden they all stop talking and look at me. Then when I am leaving the room, I can hear them breaking into laughter. What the fuck?
     
  2. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    just to paint the picture a little clearer: I have been told by many people that I am a hot guy. I've had girls tell me this many times. I think it might be the combination of this, plus the fact that I am dealing with my co-workers in a really immature way. I am simply not opening up at all. That doesn't seem like it's the right way to handle this.
     
  3. 2500

    2500 Guest

    What kind of a job atmosphere do you work in? And what is the average age of these girls?

    To me, it seems retail, average age being around 17.

    Personally, I'd say the hell with it, haha. If your not interested in being friends with them and want to keep it at a completely work related relationship, just, be yourself and if they don't like you, well, they don't have to. I'm kind of the same way. I am really goofy around most girls because A) I'm not trying to impress them cuz I don't care to, and B) I'm in a gay relationship, so it's not even like I have to save one for later, lol. I noticed it more when I got into a relationship. Before, everyone (I'm actually bi) was fair game to me. I had to be smooth and act a certain way cuz who knows if it would be a girl or guy I'd end up with. Ever since getting into a relationship, I've been totally myself around people because I don't need to impress anyone or feel they have to think good of me.

    If you're being yourself, thats the most important thing. If they think you're weird, so be it.
     
  4. Punky72

    Punky72 New Member

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    How old are these girls?

    Let me be the first to enlighten you on a little fact. Most (I say most NOT ALL) women are back stabbing, competitive, secretive, two-faced bitches.(no I'm not bitter just honest) This is why I do not have very many female friends. I am not like this and the few female friends I have are not like this. However, women like myself are few and far between. In my field (nursing) there are mostly women. I try to have nothing but a professional relationship with these people. Let's face it women talk a lot (I know I'm guilty of that) so I tend to pay close attention to how they talk, what they say about others and themselves before I attempt to establish any sort of friendship with them. (I've been burned too many times).

    I have a lot of male friends because let's face it most men are up front and honest. That is what I look for in friends.

    My advice is to pay attention to them and maintain a professional relationship for now. Found out if they respect themselves and others. If they do then open up some, if they don't (which the whole walk in a room they shut up and walk out and they laugh...appears to be that they are not respectful) then maintain a professional relationship only...you just work with these people you don't have to live with them.
     
  5. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    You seriously need some therapy. Professional therapy.

    You're having trouble with your coworkers because you are a bitter, angry person and worse, you are in complete denial about it.

    (This is coming off of your previous threads--which I suggest everyone take a look at)
     
  6. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    viper- I've been doing better lately. I found ways to vent anger and it seems like I have established control over myself and my life. Bitter and angry? Not so much anymore. I do admit that I used to be very bitter and very angry though.

    With that in mind, I'm coming here for some actual advice about the problem at hand.
     
  7. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

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    Actually, he sounds a lot better posting this time around. He's identified some problems he has, and is seeking advice to go about solving them.

    From what I remember from earlier posts, the problem was with everyone else, and never with him.

    Good job OP :bigthumb:
     

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