SRS What is there to look forward to? (Anonymous post)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Apr 17, 2009.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    After a long time I went to my doctor and talked to him and brought up one of the main sources of anguish in my life that is horribly embarrassing; I have gynecomastia. For those of you who don't know it's when males develop breasts. There are many other things that have caused me problems but this is probably the most chronic of those. I developed this at 13 and I had been doing sports year round for years and as soon as I developed it I stopped doing any and all sports and my favorite thing to do, swimming, I haven't done in seven years. I wasn't good with women but this basically took what little confidence I had and completely destroyed it.

    I tried to get this addressed right when I first noticed it and developed it but my mom just told me that I was chubby and to lose some weight. Because of it I had a miserable high school experience, I didn't play sports even though I love sports because of it and so instead of having incredible extracurriculars I didn't have any so it hurt me when applying to college. I had no confidence so there were no girlfriends, no dates, no nothing. Well, fast forward to today, I call my doctor to ask about the referral to a plastic surgeon to hopefully finally fix the problem so I can actually get on and try and live my life. Well, it turns out that my insurance does not cover this because it is a "cosmetic procedure." If you ask me, it's ruined my fucking life and isn't cosmetic at all.

    In addition, I have a genetic condition that makes it so having surgery is much more expensive and difficult to do so in order to fix my problem it will cost me at least 30 thousand dollars out of pocket. So this basically leaves me with no way to fix the problem that's ruining my life and I can't deal with it anymore. I'm so sick of not having any confidence or be able to swim or play sports or take my shirt off or wear t-shirts and not wear three layers in the summertime and HATING the way that I look. I can't even look at myself in the mirror without a shirt on because I'll get so angry and disgusted that I'll want to, and have, smash the mirror.

    All I want to do is kill myself. The last seven years have been unbearable and each year is worse than the year before. It's so fucking fucked up that I get royally boned and then there's nothing that I can do about it. There really is no point in continuing with this post (which no one will read) or my life (which no one gives a fuck about) which is the biggest disaster of shit luck and misery in history. Preemptive thanks for all the "live with it" or "it's not a big deal" or "suck it up" advice. Really, I appreciate it.
     
  2. T-R-T

    T-R-T New Member

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    Can't you get the surgery in the future if you save up/get better insurance?
     
  3. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    there's an appeals process for denied procedures. have you appealed their decision?
     
  4. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    I, too, have gynecomastia. I developed it in 8th grade and remember being horrified of the PE locker room in school. I had bitch tits, and I was sure everyone knew it. I was also horribly overweight, and though loosing the lbs would help, but, as you found out, it did little or nothing for the true issue.

    I weighd up to 250 lbs at one point in high school. Then, the summer before my senior year i got serious about my diet and excercise, which, to me was idiotic because i was already a very active teen, and didn't eat bad at all.

    I ended up loosing 75 lbs, and, coming off a kid who didn't carry the weight well that did a lot to boost my confidence. But I went about loosing the weight all wrong. I lost all of that weight in under 3 months, basically shocking my body into a totally different lifestyle. This developed a fairly severe amount of loose skin, as well as the ever present gynecomastia

    I'm 24 now, and still am horrified of going swimming with peers, and being shirtless around anyone but the girls i have sex with. I weigh a healthy 190 lbs (at 6'4"), play sports, work out regularly, but I see NO fruits of my labor. Due to the loose skin and gynecomastia i still look, well, fat, despite the opposite being true.

    I have contemplated cosmetic surgery, and depending on the cost would pay for it with a flex-pay program through my employer. All in hopes of what? Being able to go shirt-less, not feel greatly self-concious when wearing tighter fitting clothes? I've always dealt with certain situations by convientantly being unavailable when something might require me to be shirtless in a group setting, maybe i'll just continue to do that forever?

    I know none of this might help you at all, but know you're not alone.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2009
  5. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    while 30k isnt chump change, its still possible to save that money if you feel that the surgery will make you feel better. i wouldnt write it off. if its important enough to you, look at your finances, come up with a budget and stash away some cash every month in your surgery fund. it might take a while, but you will see the light at the end of the tunnel and see that it is possible.
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I know a number of people who suffer from this condition. You are absolutely not alone. In-fact it's so common that there is a website forum dedicated to this health condition. Sometimes insurance companies or hospitals will make exceptions and reduce costs associated with the surgery -- if pain is persistent in-spite of full growth, and is documented by a physician, plus the psychological effects (By a Psychologist), an appeal can be filed to the insurance company with the physician's paperwork and the psychologist's paperwork (Both need to write an authorization of necessity for the surgery in order for the patient to receive it.)

    Here is the website for more information. You will find what you need here. http://www.gynecomastia.org -- join the "forum" and ask questions under an alias or other username -- or whatever you feel comfortable with for anonymity. There are almost 11,000 members on that forum who suffer from the condition. Many have extensive wisdom to help solve the problem that may be palpable for you.

    This type of rage, depression and anger -- including suicidal idealization (which some patients experience) is a good strong indicator that the surgery is necessary and if documented, will provide a strong case. Especially if you get more than one, two, or three opinions from competent doctors. To find competent physicians in this field, you can visit ratemd.com.

    I'm hardly going to tell you that it's "not a big deal, suck it up, or to live with it." There are a few individuals on Off-topic who I speak to presently who suffer as intensely as you do -- often talking about suicide. You are not alone, and they too are in the process presently of working on getting medical care.

    The key to these issues is building a team to support you. First you need understanding, compassionate people -- such as on that forum. You then need their help finding competent -- well experienced -- physicians. You'll need at least three or four. A psychologist or psychiatrist to perform both a psychiatric evaluation for both the potential case against the insurance company, as well as treating you for acute symptoms of depression and other issues that may be underlying your suffering. There is absolutely no reason to suffer as unbearably while in the process of working towards a solution.

    Don't be surprised if the surgeon, endocrinologist and your primary physician recommend these things. You'll also need an Endocrinologist, -- a good one -- who can confirm underlying issues that might be responsible. While you may already know the issues, seeing someone who can further document the case in a team -- working with your Primary, the Psychiatrist, and the Surgeon you consider -- will be key. And of course, a Surgeon, Plastic Surgeon, preferably specialized in breast augmentation. These individuals perform surgeries for a variety of conditions, including Gynecomastia, Breast Cancer, Tumors, as well as cosmetics. These individuals -- especially the really good ones -- are more compassionate than you might believe, primarily because the emotional aspect of these procedures are so crippling to both women and men.

    By the way, I read you thread. You're not alone, but you have to do the footwork and not give up. You must trudge on and never back down, because this can be solved without bankrupting you -- it's not impossible, and a solution will come if you persistently apply yourself.
     

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