SRS what is love to you?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by onslaught61, Jul 4, 2006.

  1. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    Me and my gf have been going out for a few months now, and with the way things started, it seemed like we were really good for each other. I used to be her friend who'd always give her advice and answer her questions, and she started having feelings for me.

    Anyway, now that we're really close even only after a few months, she asked me if it was too early for 'I love you's.' We had a talk not too long ago about how it bothers her somewhat when people use 'I love yous' so casually, even using it among friends as well. She feels that when people say it, they should really mean it.

    So, I responded saying, "I don't know yet..." I asked her the same, and she also said she didn't know. Obviously she wanted to say it, and I was actually surprised she would say it so early on in the relationship. My question is, when do you think you are ready to say "I love you?" At what point do you feel you should say it? I like her so much and she's my first gf and everything seems so surreal with her, I'm wondering if I say "I love you," it's not because I really love her, but because these few months have been really fun and great. I also question my maturity, since I'm only 18 still.
     
  2. accelerator

    accelerator New Member

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    I guess when you're in love, you kinda know it. You won't need anyone else to tell you that you are.

    The day you "feel" or "know" that yes, I do in fact love this girl, you'll be ready to say "I love you"
     
  3. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    Love = simply wanting the other person to be happy. Anything else is infatuation/being enamored.
     
  4. beautiful disaster

    beautiful disaster OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    my SO and i said we loved each other within 2 months of dating. there isn't a set time frame of when you can and cannot be in love :hs:

    i realized i knew i loved him just by how the way he is towards me when we're alone or around his friends -- where ever!! the way we could be in a crowded room and he still has only eyes for me. it's the simple little things he does that nobody else notices but me.

    you will know when you're ready :hsd:
     
  5. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    i sure hope so, theres always just that voice in my head that says im not ready.
     
  6. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    Like said before, you'll just know.

    My bf said it first about a week before our 2 month mark, and I felt the same.

    I too hate how people can use it so casually.
     
  7. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    It's something you just know. Nobody else can tell you how you feel. When you feel you love her then you tell her. It's something you can feel. My boyfriend told me also he loved me after a few months of dating me. And it was just beautiful. We're still together now almost 2 years later :)
     
  8. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    What sucks is that we'll be going to different colleges about 10 hours driving away. I think about her so much I can't imagine not seeing her for months.
     
  9. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    That will be hard to do, and you will most likely figure out if you really do love each other when you're so far apart. If you'll both be willing to make the relationship work with that distance and lack of seeing one another.
     
  10. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Since it takes a really long time to get to know someone, even if you spend everyday together, it's hard to have "true love" that early in the game. You may love what you already know about the person but you usually will not truly know who they are for at least a year, sometimes several years.
     
  11. Broken5hift

    Broken5hift New Member

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    its undeniable
     
  12. TeddiBearHug

    TeddiBearHug New Member

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    There are many levels/degrees of love. It's okay to have feelings of love for someone and not have it mean they're your soul-mate for life.
     
  13. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I personally don't believe in soulmates. Just like I don't believe in Santa Claus. To each their own.
     
  14. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    love sucks
     
  15. accelerator

    accelerator New Member

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    Only when it's not reciprocated :hs:
     
  16. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    I guess that's the feeling I'm getting. People say you'll know it, but it seems like there is still a set amount of time you need to get to know the person better before you actually 'love him/her.'
     
  17. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I've known couples who have been together for a couple years and then are amazed at some of the things their partner reveals about themselves and/or some of the things their partner ends up doing. Some of them have ended because of what happened or what came out. In a few months you truly don't know that person, not like their family does.
     
  18. johan

    johan Active Member

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    no it doesn't. what sucked....was not love.
     
  19. Broken5hift

    Broken5hift New Member

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    love is when she lets you put it in the pooper
     
  20. accelerator

    accelerator New Member

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    Hi Johan,

    Was wondering what your thoughts on unrequited love are?

    Ciao.
     
  21. komodo

    komodo New Member

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    Why?
     
  22. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Unrequited love, huh? Well despite the fact that it contains the word 'love' it has less to do with that, and everything to do with "want".


    As in, I WANT THAT PERSON. He/she doesn't want me. He/she may have even politely told me no. He/she may even have tried to stay away from me.

    But I continue to WANT WANT WANT, and obsess about that person.
    How could he/she not WANT me in return? Doesn't he/she know how much I WANT him/her?


    Now replace the word WANT with LOVE, and you see how unrequited lovers fool themselves, how they mask their wanting, even from themselves.

    Sounds selfish when unmasked, doesn't it?



    Love is a complex multifaceted emotion with aspects of joy and sadness and longing and sweetness and bitterness. But ultimately it is a shared thing that brings happiness to both parties.

    Unrequited love has very little to do with mutual sharing and respect and togetherness and joy ..... and is much more about one person's selfish and unwelcome wants being placed on another person.
     
  23. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    :eek3: Love is not be be all to end all. Many people misconstrue love with lust, or perhaps another person meets a need. If anything, one has to love themselves first before one can go out there and love somewone with abandon, free from fear, game or hidden agenda.
    Unrequited love, reminds me of one of those Baldwin sisters on The Waltons...you remember the one, Mz. Maime...who spends her days waiting for her Ashley...perhaps he was her ain true love. I suspect, that, in our lifetime, if we are fortunate, if The Fates are on our side, and Cupid is at the ready, one does come across their soulmate, in terms of finding someone who one can really connect with. The problem with that is, so very few people recognize it when it happens. Does love have anything to do with it? Philosophers, poets, artists, songwriters, etc. have spent their lives trying to define just what love is, and each have come up with their own individual answers. Each individual I am sure has pondered the question. I have, and I have come to the conclusion that love sucks and is just another four-letter word.
     
  24. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    So pretty much me and my gf are the opposite of that. I think we both feel equally the same about each other. She's in Australia right now for two weeks, and we're emailing each other. We both miss each other so much, and it kills us both that we can't be together, even if it's only two weeks. Where do we stand? That's what I ask myself.
     
  25. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    I agree that love is too hard to define and in the end it really isn't something you can define because it is so subjective. In the end, I guess we decide for ourselves what love is and how important the word means. I don't think it sucks, but it's too complicated for some
     

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