SRS What is going on???

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by deznutz, May 6, 2006.

  1. deznutz

    deznutz New Member

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    Ok here is my situation...Ill try to keep it as short as possible.
    20 years old, male, college...

    I am a very confident in myself. I dress nice, i drive a nice car, i have a lot of money, i have a great job, i have a decent body. When i walk around or drive around i am a very confident person and think highly of myself. I am always concerned with what people think of me and always try to have a good reputation of myself.

    When it comes to approaching/making conversation with decent/hot women, its really difficult for me..to the point i dont. I go to parties and i just get too "intimidated" and back out and eventually just leave. I just dont know, i see a decent looking woman and i just dont have the confidence and will power to go over there and introduce myself/make conversation. Hence the 0 sex life ive been having at college.
    Alcohol wont solve the problem since i dont drink. I work out 3 times a week and its very important to me.

    This was not a problem coming to a school half across the state, knowing nobody. When i came to college, i was ready to be the center of attention and get to know a lot of women and guy friends as well. I suceeded and made a ton of friends.
    All of the friends i made that first year, died off real quick...except for my roomate. I have no idea why at all...

    Do you think i need professional help? or is this an issue i can solve by myself?
     
  2. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    I used to have a similar issue.

    First, I would say that it is obvious that people have confidence issues because of their difficulties when it comes to dealing with failure. The fact that you are always concerned with how others perceive you increases the stakes; failure in this instance can have greater consequences than it does with others.

    Second, I think that most problems can be solved with a good deal of introspection and without professional help. What people lack are the skills that allow them to be truly introspective. The fact that you are spending a good deal of energy on this implies a desire to be introspective... you can probably work this out on your own.

    Finally, this is going to sound corny, but there are many ways to develop skills that help you overcome your issue of dealing with women. Personally, I found that the David DeAngelo strategy fit my personality very well; check it out at www.doubleyourdating.com. You shouldn't as much consider it a 'system' as much as you should take some of the skills it discusses and become proficient enough in them so that you have the confidence to approach this issue more objectively... once you can do that, you can approach women from a position of strength rather than one of weakness.

    I have also found that studying some basic psychology has helped me understand more about how people think, and by extension, how I think.
     
  3. i94tex

    i94tex New Member

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    Confidence in yourself is great. Women like a confident man. But there is a difference between confidence and arrogance.

    Don't miss understand me. I am not saying you are arrogant. But what you see as confidence might come across as to others as arrogance.

    Just a thought.........
     

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