LGBT what is gay

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by smallpickle, Jul 5, 2007.

  1. smallpickle

    smallpickle New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2005
    Messages:
    514
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    clovis nm/ san angelo tx
    weird question but i'm just wanting people's opinion on what is gay. obviously being in a homosexual relationship is but what else. i ask because i am a straight man and over the past few years i've been experimenting more and more with anal play. everything from fingering my ass during masturbation to letting various girlfriends use dildos and strap ons on me. when these things are brought up around straight friends 90 percent say a man taking anything in his ass is what makes him gay regardless of what he is attracted to. so i'm wanting to know from a gay point of view is it the type of sex a person has that makes them gay/ straight or simply being attracted to the same sex that makes them gay?
     
  2. XPX

    XPX New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    12,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    you can wrap it around the most basic definition, anyone that has sexual and love feelings for someone of the same sex.... :dunno:
     
  3. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2005
    Messages:
    18,067
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Margaritaville
    imo the analogy of "it's only gay if the balls touch" = the definition of gay. Well not entirely but you know what I mean... it's only gay if you are having sex with a person of the same sex. Then you might not be entirely gay, you could be bi, or just having some fun. Labels, ftl. Also I think most of that is just male ego flowing out of their mouths.
     
  4. stolid_agnostic

    stolid_agnostic One who is both stolid and agnostic. Get a diction

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2007
    Messages:
    6,908
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SanFran Bay representing in Seattle
    I disagree completely

    I think a perfectly 100% straight man can have gay sex, enjoy it, and go back to being straight (I have known these people, I am not making it up!)

    to me, it is really what is inside that is important. do you identify yourself as person that is most interested in relationships with men? then maybe you're gay. perhaps you're most interested in women but would screw a man...then perhaps you're straight-bicurious. who knows how many definitions you can come up with

    the wrong thing to do is look at this as if there is a polar relationship involved in sexuality. it has to exist on a continuum. on one end, is a person that is 100% perfectly entirely straight (this person does not exist). on the other end is a person that is 100% perfectly entirely gay (this person does not exist). in the middle is a person that is equally attracted to men and women (this person also probably does not exist). in reality, everyone is going to fall somewhere on this continuum and be attracted to men and women as a proportion, not an absolute.

    this is just my opinion based on my experience and the people I have known
     
  5. XPX

    XPX New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    12,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    uhm....I better stay out of this thread :rofl:
     
  6. Bib-Lettuce

    Bib-Lettuce New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2004
    Messages:
    832
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think that is a complete load of crap. No one would love that to be true more than me but it simply isn't. My opinion is = Any guy who experiments with ass-play is too comfortable with his sexuality to be a closeted gay.
     
  7. stolid_agnostic

    stolid_agnostic One who is both stolid and agnostic. Get a diction

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2007
    Messages:
    6,908
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SanFran Bay representing in Seattle
    f#@*%-ing :werd:
     
  8. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2006
    Messages:
    3,266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan
    I agree with stolid_agnostic on this. The easiest way to understand what homosexuality is, to me, it to take everything you know about heterosexuality and replace the phrase "opposite sex" with "same sex." There you go; that's what being gay is.

    Anal stimulation is not exclusive to homosexuality, though it's obviously more tied to it because that's really the only way gay men can engage in sex with penetration. There are obvious physical, biological reasons why anal stimulation is arousing to all men, regardless of their sexuality. There are even gay men who are not into anal stimulation; does that make them any less gay?

    Also, in regards to one man experimenting with another, again, look at it from another point of view. Is a gay man who has sex with a woman at any point in his life any less gay? Sure, there could be the whole bisexuality thing in there, but if he remains in gay relationships the rest of his life, it's likely he would consider himself gay.

    So, to answer your question, no, it's not gay if you enjoy anal stimulation. People are quick to judge and label due to their own insecurities. Some guys like it, some guys don't, regardless of their sexual preference. It's as simple as that.

    This is coming from a (mostly) straight guy who has spent an ungodly amount of time pondering his sexuality and researching sexuality and who owns a vibrator and uses it on occasion :o
     
  9. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2006
    Messages:
    4,945
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Frozen Bowels of HELL
    If I may...from the female end of the spectrum.
    I loves me the penis but I have a girl friend with whom I also enjoy sex. I'm with you all when you say that labels are BS, but if I were labeled I'd have to say that I am a straight girl who loves sex with a sexy person :mamoru:
     
  10. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
    From the perspective of a Queer Theorist, to be gay/homosexual one has to be emotionally attracted to members of the same sex. That's it. It has nothing to do with who you have sex with; sex is too physical, which is too biological.

    I can stimulate any man to arousal and/or ejaculation, but that doesn't mean that the man is gay. Under the same umbrella, I can rape any man (to his pleasure and/or displeasure), but that doesn't mean that the man is gay. If either of these men exhibits the capacity to become emotionally attracted to another man, however, then that man is gay.

    Anal play does not make you gay. I know several American professional athletes who allow girlfriends to use strap-on's on them; it's simply the next generation of sexual play. And like all things in life, we queers have been there...done that.
     
  11. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2001
    Messages:
    78,924
    Likes Received:
    64
    Location:
    Western MA
    Agreed 100%
    The physical act of sex does not determine one's sexuality.
    I could have sex with a woman tomorrow and it wouldn't make me straight.

    Gay is an emotional attraction, beyond friendship, to people of the same sex. It's about what gets your heart racing and gets you horny. It's about who you want to hold at night... who's eyes you want to gaze into... who you want to commit your heart, body and mind to.
     
  12. One Ton Soup

    One Ton Soup New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2006
    Messages:
    44,140
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    561/954/305 s fl
    So if I get a gay guy to ram it up my ass and I don't enjoy it, I'm not gay?




    :eek3: Hmmm...:coolugh:
     
  13. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
    ...even if you did enjoy it, it still wouldn't make you gay. ;)


    *I used the rape reference earlier, and made my above comment because there have been a number of heterosexual males who were anally raped and couldn't mentally accept why they got erections and ultimately had orgasms from such acts. Turning to counseling, it takes them years to finally believe that they aren't gay...but victims not only to the men that raped them but also to male sexual socialization.
     
  14. stolid_agnostic

    stolid_agnostic One who is both stolid and agnostic. Get a diction

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2007
    Messages:
    6,908
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SanFran Bay representing in Seattle
    :rofl: liquid

    you are an 'honorary' gay anyway
     
  15. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2006
    Messages:
    3,266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan
    That is, as long as the balls don't touch

    (someone had to say it :mamoru:)
     
  16. smallpickle

    smallpickle New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2005
    Messages:
    514
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    clovis nm/ san angelo tx
    wow, i didn't think there would be so many opinions on this. it makes for very interesting reading.
     
  17. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2006
    Messages:
    3,266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan
    This might be helpful here, too. stolid asked me in his endless thread what I think defines sexuality both personally and socially. Here's my long-winded response:

    I think one's sexuality is defined not only by what they desire sexually, but what they desire emotionally. Both desires pass a threshold of, let's say, "neutrality" before they reach a level in which your sexuality is defined by them. For example, a straight man can love his friend, just as a gay man can love his straight male friend, but neither of those emotions pass the threshold where they would romantically be involved.

    The physical aspect of sexuality is much trickier, because all humans can be sexually stimulated by a wide range of physical pleasures. For example, if you blindfold half of a room full of people of both genders and all sexualities and have the non-blindfolded people stimulate the blindfolded, chances are the gender or sexuality of either party, being unknown, will not make a difference in the level of stimulation the blindfolded receives.

    Now, it's the psychological factor that makes a huge impact, and I believe this largely comes from society. While I believe biology has a GREAT impact in ones sexuality (I never woke up one day and decided, I'm going to find women sexually attractive), it would be a lie to say that society/environment has little or nothing to do with it. In short, I think society's anti-gay attitude is more of a self-preservation thing than anything else, with no real valid argument. It's pretty much, "I don't want these people coming in and taking over my territory. I don't want these 'abnormal, inferior' people to be my equal." See also: the history of blacks in America.

    The impact society has on sexuality is as clear as day. Ask any older gay man about growing up and waiting forever to come out. These days, kids are coming out in droves in their teens. Why? Because it's far more accepted, far "safer," much more in the spotlight, talked about all the time, etc. etc. It's becoming a norm. There's no doubt in my mind that gay marriage will be legal one day. Homophobia will always remain, just as racism will. It's the "us versus them" mentality that is as old as civilization.

    With all that, if you were to remove the blindfolds mid-session in my previous experiment, those "mismatched" couples, depending on their comfort with their own sexuality and how much they buy in to society's propaganda (and this comes from both gay and straight society), they may react negative (anger, guilt, aggression, fear, doubt, questioning, etc.), or think, "Meh, it's just sex." That's really all there is to it. A straight man performing homosexual acts (anal/oral/JO) with another man cannot turn him straight, because when all is said and done, he has no desire to pursue a romantic relationship with that person. Can a straight guy do this (have sex with another guy)? Absolutely. Can a gay man have sex with a woman? Absolutely. The necessary parts are in place. Now, the question is, is the desire, will, and motivation (beyond simple curiosity and just getting your rocks off) there? The answer is driven by one's sexuality.
     
  18. stolid_agnostic

    stolid_agnostic One who is both stolid and agnostic. Get a diction

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2007
    Messages:
    6,908
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SanFran Bay representing in Seattle
    :bowdown:

    I had considered asking you to post this in here
     
  19. Josey

    Josey New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2005
    Messages:
    14,690
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ...Houston...

    So you are sexually fluid...why the labeling
     

Share This Page