If I want to treat my girlfriend as my equal, what can still be chivalrous or romantic? It has to be genuine or I can't deal. I paid for a lot of stuff when I was hanging out with her back home, because she is in a shitty financial situation (due to her parents), and I was not. It was just logic. I wanted to go to nice restaurants and I wanted her to come, and it was far more sensible for me to pay than for her, not because I was trying to show her that I knew how to treat a lady, but because I could afford it. I explained this to her. I told her it wasn't chivalry, but simply the reasonable thing to do. She seemed a little disappointed. If she had been rich, and I had been poor, I would not have paid for anything. This got me thinking. I don't feel like I'm much of a romantic. What I find romantic is good chemistry, "clicking," greatly enjoying someone's company, deeply recognizing how much you like them, whatever you prefer to call it. Candles, roses, wine and mood lighting mean NOTHING to me. The only thing I care about is the interpersonal connection and the words. As for that whole sense of courtship and wooing, I feel like I am gravely lacking. Cliffs: If I want to treat my girlfriend as my equal, and not as a sensitive pet that needs coddling, what can still be chivalrous or romantic? It has to be genuine or I can't deal. I hold doors because I'm stronger, not because I am trying to impress.