What happens if the guy doesn't put out?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Limited Edition, Feb 25, 2007.

  1. Limited Edition

    Limited Edition New Member

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    How many dates would a woman continue to date a man that she has high interest level in without having sex?

    I'm reading Doc Love's "The System." He says to wait 9 dates, 60 days, and only date one day a week. He advocates to be a challenge and only kiss her at the end of the date. Doc wants the woman to initiate touch. Of course he's not going to tell her the rule.

    Or would the woman think what's wrong with this guy and move on?
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: if a guy didn't try to make a move on me after 4 dates I'd be annoyed and lose interest most likely. I don't have a problem making the first move, but if he wasn't trying to make a move even after 2 dates I'd start to wonder how into me he actually was.
     
  3. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    He could be a virgin and scared of the vag. LOL

    Maybe he doesn't want you and doesn't want to be mean and break it off!
     
  4. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    The key question is would you dump him without a thought, or would you poke and prod even the tiniest bit to figure out what was going on? If you were highly interested that is.

    As always I'm not sure the answer to this question, as posed logically and in writing, is reliable ;)
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    that's not a double standard, it's a difference. guys go in. girls are gone into. hence all the arguments
     
  6. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Well I wouldn't be having sex with him if we were only going on dates and not in a relationship so the number of dates part doesn't apply to me. I have no problem with waiting if the guy wants to though. Hell, it would be a refreshing change of pace from what most guys are like. As long as we were at least kissing then I know that he likes me so I wouldn't see any need to rush things.
     
  7. mattz87

    mattz87 Active Member

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    Hmm... I'm a virgin, been with a chick for almost two months now and we haven't had sex. I've fingered and shes given me hand jobs, haven't initiated further yet :(
     
  8. Jacy

    Jacy red lipstick brigade

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    :werd:
    I don't think most guys should worry about girls losing interest due to lack of sex early on, since I assume most girls would prefer to wait
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yes, this is what I was trying to convey.

    I wasn't saying "if a guy didn't try to sleep with me in 3 dates I'd lose his ass!" I was saying if he hadn't made a move at all, as in kissing, then I'd definitely be confused and probably turned off to the idea of him
     
  10. MR. Marti

    MR. Marti New Member

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    the guy always puts out. It's what we do.

    if he doesn't you should really check for balls or he is a flaming fag fudge packing nut licker.
     
  11. MR. Marti

    MR. Marti New Member

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    this coming from the guy with a hand for an AV.
     
  12. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    nothing :rofl:



    and who notices? no one.... :rofl: :rofl:
     
  13. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    why didnt she want to have sex with you?
     
  14. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Girls prefer to wait, if they have fears about the guy up and vanishing post coitus ... or about the guy not wanting to share an emotional connection with her if he fucks her too soon ... or about the guy viewing her as a slut for being "easy." (Easy, as if sex is something the guy is meant to fight the girl for :rolleyes:.)

    If you make it clear that you're not judgmental or republican, open to emotion, don't run off, and just are super comfortable about the whole thing then it happens quickly.
     
  15. MR. Marti

    MR. Marti New Member

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    ah damn, sorry dude. :sadwavey:
     
  16. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    If I thought he was waiting for reasons of his own, because of some belief, or respect or what have you, i would be ok with it. I love a challenge, and I like to be the sexually dominant one anyway. However, if I felt he was (as in this 'doc love' situation he is) following some sort of prescheduled technique I would get out.
    I can't imagine being with someone who would preplan the first two months of a relationship. Its a sign of being very insecure/controlling.
     
  17. niwtsol

    niwtsol always question

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    personally on my last x, she wanted to have sex after a month i didnt, i wnated to wait till i knew i actually had a connection with her, maybe not love her, but know that i will be able to have a relationship with her. i got past that point at about 2.5 months and sex began...
    some guys wait because they put more emotion behind sex, not just the feeling.
     
  18. Jacy

    Jacy red lipstick brigade

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    :werd:
     
  19. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Just to fill you guys in, as there seems to be a need to clarify what the System teaches:

    You don't touch her (what PUAs call "kino" - tapping an arm or shoulder, touching hands, etc.) during the first date. This gives her the opportunity to show her interest by touching you, which she will hopefully do at least four or five times during the date. If you are touching her of your own initiative, it not only eliminates that opportunity for you to see her interest level, it also invades her personal space and can make her less comfortable. Remember, in the beginning stages, the System is primarily about discovering her level of interest so you waste no time on women who are just there because they had nothing better to do.

    Where kissing is concerned, the first date can go a few different ways. Let's say that after the two or three hours you are out, you aren't really sure if she is that into you. In that case, you try to kiss her at her door and hope she kisses you back. If she ducks or turns her head, that's an obvious sign of low interest level OR ultraconservatism in certain cases. Some students of the System would toss the number at this point, and some would try for a second date (see below).

    On the other hand, if her interest level is obviously high judging from signals you got during the date - touching, laughing at your jokes, radiant expression, and so on - then there is no need to test it, and not kissing her is preferable for a number of reasons (challenge, mystery, anticipation). If her interest level is really high, she may even grab you for a kiss, which again you would not have given her the opportunity to do by going for it yourself.

    On the second date, you try to kiss no matter what, and if you get the cheek [again] then you're definitely out.

    So, following the System, there is always physical escalation - kissing - by the end of the second date. The main idea is firstly to not push too fast and secondly to force her to show her interest, or lack thereof, as quickly as possible.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2007
  20. Ricey McRicerton

    Ricey McRicerton New Member

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    I waited to have sex with my girlfriend. I wanted to be sure that I was ready for the consequences of what could happen. I wasn't going to have sex until I was ready should something go wrong and we ended up pregnant. Any woman who can't respect that can hit the bricks. We did other things, but I let her know that I wasn't having sex until I we were both ready.

    A lot of people jump right into sex and end up regretting it later on. I have quite a few friends who are under 25 with children by women they'd sooner spit on than look at.
     
  21. fluentinsilence

    fluentinsilence New Member

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    Or the guy could simply be going through or experiencing something personal for him that reduces his desire for it. Maybe he's depressed, low self-esteem, maybe he thinks he will be a bad lover so he refuses to act upon it, maybe he hasn't had sex in such a long time the desire for it faded away.

    In the woman's case, it depends on the depth of patience or effort she is willing to front to produce something out of this 'problem.' Granted, this would seem like a herculian task though considering her sex drive could be astronomical whereas his is nill. Or more simply, she refuses to keep the relationship going on and finds someone else who will fulfill what she desires, thus leading the frigid man even moreso.
     
  22. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    9 days or 60 days is a bit much. I'd wait like maybe 5-6 dates or 1-2 months. And I'm so over being the agressive one in the relationship. Shy guys ftl...I want a real man.
     
  23. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    There's no actual prescription for no sex before date 10. That happens to be the end of the "trial period" where by now you should be exclusive, you can give her a gift, and see each other more than once a week. Doc Love never talks about sex except to say "that's for the two of you to decide" as to when and "ask Dr. Ruth" as to how. He does, however, recommend waiting as long as you can manage since that only drives her interest level up.

    In this case we aren't talking about lack of desire, we're talking about self-control.

    If her sex drive is astronomical, all the better to make her wait till she can't stand it anymore and pounces you :naughty:
     

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