SRS What does the Asylum think, is my relationship over for good?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by maskednegator, Jul 18, 2006.

  1. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    I'm 24, so is she, to preface. My 2nd ltr, her 4th or 5th.
    So I've been with this girl about 10 months, and have been living with her for the past 5. I realize now that we moved in too soon, but please bear with me.

    For a variety of reasons, I would find myself upset at her. I now think that the majority of the time, I was sublimating my mommy-daddy bullshit into our relationship. My mother and father got divorced when I was 4, but I was aware of their constant fighting to the point that I think I have modeled my relationships with women on that.

    Late June, my girlfriend almost broke up with me, saying she felt like she was solely responsible for my happiness. I talked things out with her, and made efforts to pursue my own goals in school and my own time with friends.

    My girlfriend left me on thursday the 12th. She says that she's sick of fighting all the time, sick of walking on eggshells around me (moreso sick of feeling like that's the only time we're happy). I find it incredibly hard to believe her, considering the past 3 weeks have felt like a dream, we've constantly been doing lovey dovey stuff, and she'd told me herself that she felt like our communication skills had really improved. Things that would have caused tiffs that turned into blowouts, were glazed over and loviness prevailed.
    We'd talked about our future in the past, and forever

    We've yet to sit down face to face. Do you all think that illustrating my desire and efforts to change will have any impact, or should I just give up and move on?
     
  2. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Sounds like she simply doesn't have the same interest level she once had. Who knows exactly why that happened, but everything recently seemed like a dream to you but obviously it didn't to her. Otherwise she wouldn't be leaving. Yes, it's over. Her actions have been and continue to show that she wants out.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Does she want to sit down and talk face to face? If she does, you might be bale to save things. If not, it's probably over.
     
  4. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    So she's coming over to our place after work tomorrow.
    I plan to tell her something along the lines of "I've been an idiot, I know where I went wrong and what I did to cause this and I'm sorry. I've been doing a lot of soul searching this past week and have taken steps to bring my temper back into check. I refuse to lose you over something so idiotic on my part. yadda yadda..."
    Basically I'm going to give things one last chance. I'll try to put her fears to rest and tell her how much our time together has meant to me, and what I see between the two of us in the future.

    Just needed to share with someone...
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    The old tired of fighting line huh?? Well I've only known 1 relationship that has survived that line and basically they got married! lol They aren't happy but I think they figured out how to fight/argue. Perhaps she's willing to stay but it sounds to me like she's done. g/l
     
  6. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    The wrong relationships are the ones that get dull fast. I think this is her way of telling you that you should move on. She probably doesn't want to be the one to tell you. Take what you have learned and move on.
     
  7. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    It's over.... most women decide to leave months before they actually leave. Your last three weeks were serene because she'd already given up on the relationship, hence didn't bother fighting.
     
  8. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    Can anyone expound on that please?
     
  9. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    .... Don't know what kind of expansion you need. Women think about leaving. They weigh the pros and cons of leaving (a lot of finances and stuff weighs into this here) They eventually decide to leave, and then wait until a time that's optimal for them.
     
  10. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    So it seems that the minute the woman thinks about leaving, your relationship may as well be over.
     
  11. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :ugh2: interpret it as you will
     
  12. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    So you actually believe that all of the fighting is 100% your fault?
     
  13. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    not 100% of it, but a wildly disproportionate amount of it. enough to warrant me owning up in this fashion.
    i cannot recall a fight starting because she had a problem with how i was behaving.
     

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