what does it mean when

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by babygodzilla, Oct 3, 2007.

  1. babygodzilla

    babygodzilla I love rice

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    a girl never asks you how ur doin? i know a girl that i kinda sorta am interested in, but not sure yet. about the beginning of summer, we talked quite a bit online and on the phone, usually i call her just to chat, and itd be a good chat. we hung out not too often, but a good number of times in a week. she lives in a different city not too far but not very close either. so then i started developing some interest.
    then she had a trip home to her home country that lasted about 3 months, i took her to the airport, and "volunteered" to take care of her car, not because of her but because I love her beautiful car :)
    during this time we didnt talk as much because of the time difference, and also because she didnt always have access to internet. but whenever she's online i would say hi, and we'd chat for a bit.
    fast forward to 2 weeks ago, she came back to the states, i picked her up at the airport, and drove her home. and recently she hardly talks to me. i think she's said hi to me once online since she got back. i always say hi to her and always try to strike a convo, but it always ends after like 3 sentences.
    for example, today's convo:

    me: hi, ur not goin to class?
    her: nope, my class is at 4
    me: oh how nice
    .............
    .................................

    that's it. that was the end of it. i mean, what does that mean? i want her to ask how my day's goin or some shit like that. i have other lady friends that im not interested in that can chat with me for hours. but this one.. yea i dunno..

    the worst part is i dont have a problem getting close to girls, but i always go after the ones that is most hard, or impossible, to get. :wtc: wtf is wrong with me..? :hsd:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You waited far too long. You don't sound like an attractive candidate as a bf in her mind because you've never made any kind of move.
     
  3. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    What's stopping you from asking how she's doing and seeing if she wants to go grab dinner or something? I'm guessing she gave up on you since you'd been hanging out/talking but you don't really make a move. A girl can only have the "Hey what's up?" convo so many times before she gets bored and gives up on the guy initiating something.

    I guess I'm just saying that if you want to talk to her more, initiate convo that interests and engages her and then ask if she wants to go do something.
     
  4. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Ninja post! You beat me to it. My post above is a longer version of this.
     
  5. Mangina

    Mangina New Member

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    FRIENDZONED!!!!!
     
  6. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Yes not making a move or initiating something can put one off really quick.
    You have to keep going forward somehow. It is really boring when they need our help or guidance to do whatever they want to do. you don't want to be percieved as stale or whatever the word is.
    Half of the time I read what they want but just.. no, doesnt happen.

    You're not playing hard to get, being a "gentleman", or appearing interesting in the tiniest at all.

    Be surprising, be unpredictable.
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    You are waiting for signals from her as some kind of authorization to act on your own desires.

    I, codename JohnJohnJohnson, hereby authorize you to act on your own desires. Isn't that awesome!? You don't have to wait for signals anymore.

    I have given you the authority to be proactive instead of being reactive.

    Also, and this matters much less than being proactive, but try not to say bleedingly obvious statements too often in a single conversation. For example, if she says she's missing class, it is bleedingly obvious that that is "nice." Next time tell her, "That sucks. I love that class," or "That's good but that means you are a slacker," or something other than a SUPER DUPER LOGICAL response.
     
  8. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    You sound like a spy :mamoru:
     
  9. babygodzilla

    babygodzilla I love rice

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    o well actually we went out once to see a movie, eat, the usual. but that was before her trip. so thats way back when in June or so. just friendly stuff tho. i didnt try to be romantic. think Conservative Asian ok? she doesn't go out alone with guys, she's never been kissed, don't go out on dates. different culture. people from my country are just like that. thank god ive been somewhat Westernized. if I had tried to hold her hand or some shit like that she woulda ran. RAN like mad i tell you. i havent known this girl for too long, only since a couple of weeks before her trip. so i havent been around her THAT long. she was gone from mid-June to 2 weeks ago. if you wanna really count days, i've probably been around her for about a month :dunno:

    and i have asked her out again once about a week and a half ago. i asked her out to eat, she was interested, but couldnt make it.

    the problem here is just that shes not making any effort to have a convo with me, at least lately. 99% of our convos are initiated by me, i always try to keep it interesting and engaging. it was ok before, but recently she's been quiet, and that kinda puts me off. i mean if someone wont make an effort to make a convo online, what's it gonna be like IRL? :dunno:

    i guess she's simply not interested? :hsd: thats ok i suppose. its hard to judge these conservative girls. most of the girls from my country that i know have ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE when a guy is interested in her. i mean ive dropped hints here and there. i say shit like "when are you coming back, again? oh cool, cant wait to see you again." even that feels kinda cheesy.
    Western girls are more forward, so its easier to judge. but these conservative Southeast Asians? theyre like spies i tell you.
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2007
  10. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    First, don't assume that people's online behavior is anything like their in person behavior. If I'm on AIM, I don't initiate conversations with anyone. I just sign on if I'm checking my email and let it sit there if someone wants to say hi. This doesn't mean that I'm not interested in talking to people or that I don't care, I'm just usually doing something else so unless someone talks to me first, I'm not going to distract myself.

    Second, if taking things really slow is a cultural thing, is it possible that she was taught not to put herself out there to guys? Maybe she was just brought up to keep to herself unless approached. No idea, just venturing a guess.

    What exactly did she say to you when you asked her to go out to eat before and she couldn't make it? Did she seem bummed or was it just like, "Um...I'm busy." Usually if a person is interested but genuinely can't go to something you invite them to, they mention a raincheck or something.
     
  11. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    #2
     
  12. babygodzilla

    babygodzilla I love rice

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    motherfuckin :werd:
    you are absolutely correct sir. that is my culture right there. most girls there wait for guys to make the move. i know many many girls that LOATHE at the thought of girls making any kind of move at all, and damn i wanna slap them. they literally think that is disgusting and somewhat whore-ish. and i just go :ugh: im the kind of guy that wants to see effort on both side. no i dont wanna be the only one that keeps asking her out, saying hi, being generally concerned and shit. ive dropped hints here and there, call her enough times, asked her out a few times. now i wanna see something from her. just say hi to me once in a while. drop me a text or something.

    but, i guess if she's not interested :dunno:

    many times what usually happens in my culture is guy likes girl, girl is completely oblivious, guy keeps dropping hints, girl is still oblivious, guy says it out loud, girl is in disbelief!! how could this be?!?!, oh but guy has been so caring to girl and girl thinks maaayybeee i like him too, or not. we'll see what happens.

    yeah, usually guys in my country are always at the mercy of silly girls who just cant see a guy making an effort.

    i casually said "hey wat are you doin later? wanna go have lunch at CPK?"
    she said "o yea sure. o wait my sister and i already cooked. some other time?"
    i said "ok no problem"
     
  13. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Fixed :bigthumb:

    Sounds like you may just have to set your sights on someone else. If that's the way she was brought up, there's not much you can do about it. From what you've said, you don't seem to be head over heels for her anyway. I say cut your losses and go for someone who is a little more upfront and outgoing about dating.


    Fixed :bigthumb:

    You left it too open by just saying "ok." Now you're in this weird place between rejected and not. You don't really know one way or the other how she feels so you don't know how to proceed.

    Try to be less passive about making plans. If you ask a girl out for Tuesday but she's got something planned, mention you're free another night and see what she says. If a girl says she busy for more than two nights without flat out telling you when she's free, she's probably not interested.
     
  14. babygodzilla

    babygodzilla I love rice

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    yea ur right. but again, these girls are conservative, and yeah i cant do too much about that. when i ask her out, i might be asking her out on a date, but she would never think so. we'll always just be friends, u noe what i mean? even when we're out just the two of us, it wont be a date unless i explicitly say so, and that'll scare here away.

    "hey u wanna go out tonite? u noe, like ON A DATE?!?!"
    ":run:"
    :mamoru:

    yeah i should just look for someone else. im not that interested in her (yet). but i always try to go after the ones i cant get. its like a thrill, and a real bad habit.. :wtc: i wonder if anyone else has that bad habit

    o sorry for the gender confusion :wavey:
     
  15. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    So how exactly do girls like this expect to end up married? I'm assuming the goal of this cultural behavior isn't so that women will go on to become nuns so how do they expect courtship to work?

    I'm thinking this is your best bet. Seems like the thrill of the chase would probably be more fun with a girl who is as into the chase as you are. Trust me, there are girls in between the crazy prudes and the crazy whores. There are some girls that you'll have to chase some but will drop hints along the way that you're on the right track and the chase ends up paying off.

    No problem, just wanted to let you know. Kinda thought the advice might mean something different if you knew it was coming from a chick (not saying that makes it better or worse, just different). :hs:
     
  16. babygodzilla

    babygodzilla I love rice

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    a lot of involvement from the parents. im not saying arranged marriage, but a lof of nudge nudge and wink wink from the parents if u noe wat i mean. they'll brainwash their daughters with shit like
    "hey so that roger rabbit, he's a doctor yea? pretty good huh? WINK WINK!!"

    thank god not all the girls are like this nowadays. we're gradually moving towards the West culturally, but we're nowhere close. still very deeply rooted in the old ways, even for girls that live in America. some of those girls i wanna slap live in america yeah.

    yeah thanks. any advice is more than welcomed. i just wanna know what girls are thinkin of when they act like this.
     
  17. DaveG

    DaveG New Member

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    She is not interested in you.
     
  18. UFG

    UFG New Member

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    She's probably getting bow legged by now with all the repeated bonings she's been getting from the guy that wasn't afraid to hit on her.
     
  19. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    This thread is 7 fucking years old......
     
  20. UFG

    UFG New Member

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    Really, really bow legged then. :naughty:
     

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