SRS What do you think?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by phoenix1105, Jan 9, 2009.

  1. phoenix1105

    phoenix1105 OT Supporter

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    So here is the shorter version of the last couple of years of my life. I am 27 right now for reference. I have been cutting most of the night, and stitching things back up. The shit hit the fan two years ago when my then fiancé stole 60k from me. The long and short of it, She forged my name multiple times and got away with it.

    I was in "love" and my family (blood relatives) came over to the house where I was living with my fiancé and literally took me out of the house, along with all my stuff. In the two years since I had developed a wicked condition in my lower back and legs that leaves me in constant pain. I have been to every specialty hospital in the nation. Turns out it is mitochondrial dysfunction. It was triggered when I had sex with her the first time, about 6 months before I moved in with her. Somehow sex triggered something... I am on a cocktail of 12 pills a day. I am basically bed ridden and can do very little for myself. I have tried to kill myself twice. If other people hadn't found me I'd be 6 feet under.

    Add to that the hardest part for me to deal with... When i was with my ex she always wanted me to dress in her panties and bra when we had sex. So now two years later I am really turned on by that fetish, but no relationships. To top it off she emails or snail-mails me pics she took of us having sex, and me in compromising positions. I don't think I m gay, as men do nothing for me, but womens clothes do. She has pseudo blackmailed me twice at Christmas because she wanted several grand. So I am 15k in debt, and pretty much at the end of my rope. I have posted on a couple other forums, but I am just looking for some kind of validation that I am normal and not some kind of freak... Most night suicide is in my head, and it scares the hell out of me. So thats about it.... anybody what to comment on how fucked up this it?
     
  2. Darth_Kelly

    Darth_Kelly Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual.

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    First, developing that fetish is normal. It's similar to Pavlov's dog; you were aroused when she made you do that and so you became conditioned to find it arousing. I know my current boyfriend is starting to develop my fetish just because he associates it with pleasure, so don't sweat that. I am, though, very sympathetic that you're not in a relationship and can't relieve your desires.

    Furthermore, I'm also so sorry that your fiance was so terrible to you; no one deserves that. With that turn of events in your life, it would seem almost expected to feel hopeless. However, if there is any way possible, seeking therapy might really help. While I think medication is overrated, from my observations therapy is incredibly helpful, if nothing more than having someone to bitch to. Also talk to someone you can trust, family, friends about the blackmailing situation so you do not have to have that dreadful stressor in your life.

    Though it may seem impossible, try to love yourself and remember that you are not a freak, but someone dealing with incredibly trying circumstances. Hang in there.
     
  3. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    My fiance also stole money from my bank account, which ended our relationship.

    I also have a condition which left me bedridden at various points of long duration. I also am on about 30 pills a day and I have thought about suicide in the past.

    You're a normal guy, even with the fetish, even with dressing up. It's all fantasy, and as long as you know that inside, you'll be just fine. I have this "massive dildo" fetish, ask the girls I've dated *teeehee*

    Ok, so now that we're out in the open with some real life truth, let her follow through on her blackmail. All you have to do is say "nothing." Others will care less than you think, with all the skeletons in "their" closets. Truth be told, nearly everyone has a fetish, or has had pictures taken during sex.

    Even if she sent your pictures to your boss, and someone came forward and said something, just say "Obviously someone is trying to cause trouble, just discard them."

    Do not, give her anymore money. File a police report regarding the blackmail or any other illegal activity in the future. Blackmail is illegal. You have nothing to be ashamed of nor feel guilty about. In-fact if you can demonstrate confidence in that fact, it goes even further to diminish any potential problems in the future if she attempts to bring the photos out into the open.

    Oh and an additional note, even if you were gay -- and even if anyone assumes you're gay, it doesn't matter, homosexuality is almost exclusively accepted in our society now. Almost no one cares. So, assumptions mean nothing too.

    I hope this helps. I'm 30, so I've been down these roads as a teen and in my early 20's.
     
  4. CaminoReal

    CaminoReal Custom User Title

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    About the blackmail thing... I wouldn't sweat it that much. Tell her you're in debt and that you have absolutely no money to give her, and you wouldn't do it even if you had the money. Fucking call her bluff and let her do whatever immature thing she needs to do. Yes it would kind of suck to have those pictures shown to people, but in the end who gives a shit.

    About the fetish things... a lot of people have "weird" fetishes and some are a lot more out there than yours. I would be more worried about your suicidal thoughts than you fetish. I know things are bad, but stick with it because obviously there are people in your life that care about you.
     
  5. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    she is nuts and took those pics to blackmail you, you must face this to get the crazy thoughts out
     
  6. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    the woman needs to be arrested and jailed

    you're not a "freak". whatever makes you happy and works for you in bed :dunno:
     
  7. 2500

    2500 Guest

    I'm not understanding how sex "triggered" mitochondrial dysfunction.

    And, I know plenty of straight guys who are turned on by MUCH "worse" stuff. You're not gay. You're not weird.

    What you ARE, is being taken advantage of. You did what 99% of "happy" couples do. You do some freaky (normal) shit in bed, take some pics, be vulnerable. She's the looney tune who took that private, normal stuff and is using it against you.
     

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