SRS What do you think about girls and tattoo's??

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Guz200sx, Apr 19, 2006.

  1. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    I met a girl, she is white, about a month ago now on Eharmony. I knew going into the relationship that she had a daughter. I found out later the daughter is bi-racial. I also found out that she has a tattoo, bigger than what I thought, on her leg.
    I also found out last week that she has a tattoo on her chest, around her breast, and she has the name of her father's baby on her chest. The father to the child is still around and sees his daughter every week but I've been told by the girl that their relationship is strictly about their daughter and nothing else. The girl told me she broke up with him when she was 6months pregnant because she found out he was cheatin on her and then she was told by the other girl that they had been seeing each other for a year. SO...the guy was with two girls at once. Basically the dude is player.

    So....I decided I can look past the daughter and even the tattoos because being bitter over those things is just STUPID. I definately will not be bitter over a little child because she is just a child and knows nothing yet about this world. The tattoos occurred at a different time and a different place in her life and for me to judge someone on that makes me no better than her ex.

    Now I told my parents about this new relationship (cause they asked) and my mother basically flipped out....BTW, I must mention I am Puerto Rican/Honduran (a hondu-rican:rofl: ).
    Now my mother has always been someone that says each race should stick with each other. Like for instance she wouldn't want me marrying a black girl. She's always said dating a black girl is fine but no marriage. I remember when she told me that a while back, I think it was in High School, I was like what the fuck. Love has no boundaries. Love will not matter what she is or where she has come from. Anyway, when I told her that she said She can even accept a white girl and definately a spanish girl but not a black girl and she can't over the fact why white women go out and marry black guys. She also has a thing with tattoo's....basically she is very very old fashion.


    SO I told my mother the whole lowdown on the relationship...Basically about her daughter, her tattoos and her ex. So unexpectly, my mom flips off the deep end and says that she doesn't like this relationship because she doesn't like the fact that this white girl has a tattoo of another guy's name on her body. And its a black guy. And she had a baby by him too. She said she could accept the daughter cause its only a baby but the tattoo on her chest, she said she does not like that all. She starts saying that in her experience when someone does something extreme like that then they are deeply in love and she said she thinks the girl still has feelings for this guy because why would she go and get something like that. I told her that the guy was the girls first love and YES she was in deep with him BUT the guy cheated on her and he had been cheating on her for over a year with some girl he knew since she was a little baby (they were basically like brother&sister) and the girl was much younger than him. So he basically deceived the girl and broke her heart. And then she started to get all paranoid about the guy and WHAT IF the guy sees me one day and tries to start something and tries to fight me and leaves me in the hospital....or worse. My mother said I am her only son and she doesn't want to see anything happen to me and she doesn't want to phone call from the police sayin to come ID this body.:ugh: She was basically being very prejudice towards the guy. Basically saying just because he is black he is going to get violent towards me. I actually asked the girl the other day if he were to see me one day, would he be pissed about it and she said he would prolly be but he wouldn't do anything. That he would prolly try to be all buddy buddy with me and stuff. The girl said he is all talk and nothing else. She said she would just rather try to keep us apart anyway.

    But my mom basically pissed me off with her old-fashion outlook on things. I told her if it had been a white guy or even a spanish guy instead of a black guy she wouldn't be thinking like that. And I was right when I said it because she actually paused to think about it...

    I know she's just concerned with my well-being but this is ridiculous.....Her paranoia was way over the top. I told her this is 2006 and all that crap about the race thing is bullshit now. People will date whoever now and who cares what race they are. People don't do things like back in the '70's or 60's, people are different now. What was taboo then is no longer taboo now and she just needs to realize that.

    My whole view on this is now........I don't care that She has a kid, and I don't even care that she has a tattoo of some dude's name on her.
    Basically its like if she likes me and I like her, everything else will fall into place. I'm not worrying about that guy. The only thing I'm thinking about is the girl and myself and seeing where this can go...


    sorry, had to vent.....:hs:

    EDIT: forgot to say that the girl says she is into me and likes me and vice versa. Last weekend was the best. We made out like two teenagers:rofl: We plan to see each other again this weekend. I plan to bring her down to where I live this time...weather might suck so we might just watch a movie and grab some dinner.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2006
  2. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Is this post about women and tattoos or your mom and her seemingly racist attitude? ;)
    I personally don't have a problem with women and tattoos, but I have two myself.

    My mother in law hated me from the very beginning. It is a hard thing to overcome, but it IS possible (I didn't have the whole cultural thing to deal with though). I'll respond more later, but I have to run to class now.
     
  3. dr_jerkvorkian

    dr_jerkvorkian New Member

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    damn, another guy's name on her breast? i dunno... unless she got that tattoo in a fit of teenage rebellion, or by gunpoint, i dunno. if it was somewhere else, and small i could overlook that... but another guy's name on her breast? i'm posessive, and that titty is moiine, not someone elses!!
    yeah, or you could just get real used to doggystyle :rofl:
     
  4. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    It's not exactly like it's an easy thing to change.
     
  5. dr_jerkvorkian

    dr_jerkvorkian New Member

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    yup, guess not. but the question was about women and tattoos.. and it's on her tit! and it's a big tattoo, so i guess the underlying question here really lies on guz200sx, if he is willing or not to be with this girl. but then again, that question isn't about tattoos really either, it's more about how frightened he is of black men. :rofl:
     
  6. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    I suppose its a bit of both....


    It was during her teenage years. The girl is younger than me BTW. I am 28 (29 in a month) and she is 21. For being a 21yr old she is very mature and been through more than your usual 21yr old.

    She also told me the other night she plans to get it redone and change the name to something else....She was telling me she doesn't know why she got it and she doesn't know why she did it their. She looks back at that whole experience with that guy and says why was she ever with him and what did she ever see in him. She said whenever they went anyway or did anything, she always paid for him. She basically gave him money and stuff.

    I'm not scared of him. I haven't seen him yet ... and unless the guy is big like Shaq or built like Zeus then I still won't be scared of him.
     
  7. darnit

    darnit New Member

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    I think your attitude is great about the whole deal with the exception of two things.
    1. You are wrong about
    People still have race issues now, what would be a more trueism is that YOU look beyond it.

    And to think your mothers views are BS.. they are Her views. Just as you have yours. It's ok for you to not agree with them,but they are still her views. You can also not agree with them and still respect them. And she should as well respect yours.

    But over all I think your attitude towards a road that WILL be trying at times great. Even if this doesnt pan out, your doing fine. As a matter of fact, i didnt see why you even posted , except maybe to vent? You seemed to have it under control and with the except of the mom( expected-she is your mother :p ).
    And also, I would say that you are a much more progressive and brave person that alot of people I have meet in my e-life:)
     
  8. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Alright.
    I think you have many issues going on here and you are lumping them all together. My question to you is which bothers you the most? The fact that she:
    has a daughter
    is younger than you
    has her daughter's father's name tattoo'd on her breast
    the fact that she has tattoos at all
    the fact that your mother already dissaproves of such a 'young' relationship
    the possibility of a confrontation happening between the child's father and you?
    I'm sure I could list more, but you get the picture.

    Have you even met this woman yet? Have you met her child? How old is her daughter? What type of relationship are you searching for? Are you looking to settle down and get married? Are you willing to accept the fact that your mother might not accept your relationship even if you do marry her (years down the road of course)?

    There are a lot of things going on here, are you willing to deal with them all? To be completely honest, you sound like you have some doubts (which I think are to be expected).

    Let me share my experience with you. I was very young when I had my daughter. I started dating my husband when I was 3 months shy of 16 (he was 18) and I already had my child. His mother absolutely freaked out when she found out that I already had a child. I was not allowed to call her house (he still lived at home too) or anything. She attempted to block any type of contact between my (then) boyfriend and I. A mother can wreak a tremendous amount of havoc on a relationship and it can be hard to work through. It takes us a tremendous amount of commitment to work through those also. She refused to attend our wedding and didn't talk to her son for over a year. It took the death of a close family friend to realize how stupid she was being over the situation, and that we (my daughter and I) were apart of my husband's life and we were not going away. Our relationship is wonderful now (8 years later), but obviously it didn't start out so wonderful.
    She eventually told me that the reason why she was against my husband dating me is because of the whole 'premade family' thing. It took her a long time to realize that we weren't going to destroy his life and that I wasn't some irresponsible trampy girl (from getting pregnant so young).
    I think it also had a lot to do with the fact that he was the baby in the family. Mothers have a hard time giving up their children, especially to someone who they believe isn't 'good enough' to be their child's partner in life. Does that make sense?

    Your mother is simply going to have to accept your relationship. It might take her awhile, but hopefully she will eventually. I don't know your mother, but it's possible that she is 'blaming' her lack of acceptance (or unwillingness to accept) of your relationship on the tattoos and the biracial child/ex? I realize it is very early in your relationship, but is that something you can accept (her potentially not ever accepting your relationship)?

    Can you also deal with the fact that it is neccesary for her to be 'friendly' or cordial with her child's father, for her daughter's sake? Should your relationship become serious, are you willing to accept and help raise the child? Are you willing to become a stepfather?

    I think I'm rambling now :o so I'll shut up for a little while. If you aren't looking for a serious relationship, then disregard pretty much everything I said.
     
  9. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    03 white zx3 said pretty much what needs to be said about the situation. You can't beat personal experience.

    In addressing women with tattoos in particular I think it depends.... I have friends that look hot with them. One friend has a full backpiece with a geisha and phoenix, it looks stunning...it goes from the back of her neck all the way down just lightly past the area where her shorts would cover it up. It looks good when you have a good artist actually work with the curves of a woman's body to accent it.

    On the other hand I have a friend that killed all her sex appeal by putting all these butt ugly gang banging type tats in the most stupid places. There's nothing aesthetic about that at all. Too bad....
     
  10. Replicant

    Replicant New Member

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    I enjoy tattoos if they are tasteful or have some significance. Otherwise tattoos for the act of 'coolness' is wack.
     
  11. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Thanks for the good words.:)

    You are right about her views...It is her opinion and I suppose I should respect it.

    Its ridiculous how my parents are though. I know I definately strive to be different from them. And not only in affairs such as the relationship one but in all aspects. I will admit its hard cause we were bought up with those customs but breakin away from their mindset and changing the old views is a great achievement.

    I will definately look past the race card because it doesn't matter to me.


     
  12. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    My responses are in Bold....

    Thanks for good ear. Its ridiculous how my parents are. I know I definately strive to be different from them. And not only in affairs such as the relationship one but in all aspects. I will admit its hard cause we were bought up with those customs but breakin away from their mindset and changing the old views is a great achievement.

    Its weird also because my mother and father went through hard times as well with my fathers mother because she was not accepting of my mother but now she is and all my mother wants to do is take care of her now. My grandmother lives in NYC though.

     
  13. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    You sound like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders :)
    I hope everything works out for you.
     
  14. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    I told my friends about it and one of them joked about that too
    :rofl:
     
  15. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Thanks...:)
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2006
  16. Budha

    Budha Guest

    She seems ghetto man... I'd stay away.
     
  17. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    your mom definitely has issues

    but you should do what you feel is right, if your mom loves you, she'll "accept" your life
     
  18. gsxec

    gsxec New Member

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    She sounds like a dumb nieve whorebag who is easily played by scum who proudfully get as many women as possible pregnant. Leave her ass now - she and her ex and her tattoos and her kid are not worth the trouble - your probably a nice guy like me - although I would perfer you just date her for fun and nothing else - take out on a few dates have a good time , maybe get some ass and then move on to the next date...
     
  19. gsxec

    gsxec New Member

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    Lol her name is Hope? with tattoos on her breasts? She is Ghetto - I might have seen her on Jerry Springer - you can do better than that. Also I guarantee you that she has no family, unlike your mother who is there and worries about you constantly like a mother should. :ugh2::p
     
  20. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    AN UPDATE on my situation with the girl I am seeing....

    We are in a exclusive relationship now and my feelings for her are growing stronger every day. I told her this too on Saturday. I wish I could see her more but she lives an hr away.

    On our last date, last week, I went to her house and we made out like two high school kids. This week we were at my house and we did a lot more stuff.

    I also told her that on our last date I had asked "if she knew how beautiful she was." She told me later on that she wondered what I was really after. SO on Saturday I told her I had an answer for her...I told her I was only after one thing and that was her heart. She said "I may very well get it and that it was a good start."

    I spent all day with her on Saturday and my fuckin stomach was in knots on Sunday cause we weren't together.

    I don't know if this is love or what but its driving me crazy feeling like this. I can't even fuckin eat. Sunday I was a fuckin bag of emotions - happy, sad, and mad.

    I want to tell her how I feel but its only been a month.....I don't want to be all clingy either. I think she is liking me a lot too. Scratch that...I know she is.

    I invited her to go too an amusement park later in May with my friends and we'll be spending the day together and staying over the night. By then, it'll have been almost 2 months since meeting her (meet her on March 25th).......Is it STILL too early to tell her how I feel and that I may love her???
     

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