What do you say?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by DragonsBane, Sep 26, 2006.

  1. DragonsBane

    DragonsBane New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2006
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    I am sure this topic has been over done millions of times but I would still like some advice.

    I have known this guy for 3 monthes and we have been dating for about 3 weeks now and he has already said I love you. I am curious to see what some of your reactions to this might be. For me its a trust thing where I dont say I love you until I am absolutely sure I do, even if i get the feeling early on. What is causing me to ask this question is I am wondering if it is just my horrible past with men that has conditioned me this way or if it is something that is common amongst other people as well. I would like both men and woman replies on this.
     
  2. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2001
    Messages:
    5,953
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Midwest
    From a guys point of view I don't say "I love you" until I actually mean it, the phrase is thrown around too much these days and giving someone the wrong idea is not something I want to do.
     
  3. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,413
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
    I think folks throw it around too much, also. I said it when I meant it. And even still, I only say it when I mean it. I don't use it as a parting comment for phone calls ("Ok baby, talk to you later, love you.") or other times when it's just "plain" feeling.

    I say it when I mean it.

    Does everyone do that? No, probably not. Take your best guess as to if he does. Personally, I think guys fall in love faster than women because they have often been thinking about the woman for a lot longer time than they have been together.
     
  4. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    You should never say those words until they are truly meant...however, while you may think you love someone, I dont believe it can be truly love until you have been with them for a while and speant alot of time with them consecutively.

    See, people fall in love with the person they see, but if they are only spending a few hours a day with someone, they arent seeing all that person. Honestly, I dont think you can really know if its love or not untill you have lived with someone a few months. Living with someone really changes things, and should be a precurser to all serious commitments.
     
  5. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    20,480
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    I always wait for the chick to say it first :mamoru:
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    ^ Has that ever happened?
     
  7. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    i have to disagree. i think you can be in love, and love someone, without having lived with them.

    i really see little advantage to living withsomeone outside of marriage. to me, i just seems more like a convienance issue, and thats the last thing i want.
     
  8. DragonsBane

    DragonsBane New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2006
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    I know for a fact that living with someone changes things, but not whether or not you love the person, and even living with someone you may still only see them for a few hours a day. No one spends every waking hour with there SO ... that is bound to cause problems in any type of relationship.

    Also i think it is quite possible that this man loves me already, he has very strong opinions and sticks to them.
     
  9. turbo_babe

    turbo_babe Guest

    How old are you two?

    I think that 3 weeks is a bit too soon. I think that it could be lust, and sometimes those overwhelming feelings of being so head over heels can make you think you're in love. In my first serious relationship my ex told me he loved me 3 months in. This relationship it took a year.

    I think maybe you should wait a few more months and see how things go before getting wrapped up in it. You dont want to set yourself up for dissapointment.
     
  10. DragonsBane

    DragonsBane New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2006
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    we are 20 and 21
     
  11. moomoo3210

    moomoo3210 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2004
    Messages:
    1,420
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia
    sounds like hes new to the relationship thing and just saying it because your both in the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship still
     
  12. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    0
    Turbobabe is right. Sometimes people mistaken lust for love, especially people that are inexperienced with relationships.

    I also have to agree with redvsblue. You can fall in love with someone instantly but truly loving someone takes time. I think what he's also trying to say is that you don't know if it's true love until you've seen the good, bad, and ugly. And in most situations, you won't see all of that until you two live together. True, you may not see each other often while living together but the dynamics change because now you are sharing bills, sharing huge responsibilities, sharing space, etc. You have to deal with each other's habits too. Living together really tests your tolerance, compatibility, and patience w/one another.
     
  13. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2002
    Messages:
    18,783
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lansing, MI USA
    :bowdown::werd: My thoughts EXACTLY! :bigthumb:
     

Share This Page