SRS What do you say to someone who has a relative that is on the death bed?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by jay7430, Jun 3, 2006.

  1. jay7430

    jay7430 it's just business

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    My friend's grandma is really sick, i think she has breast cancer and my friend is reallyl close to her grandma.

    Question is, what do i say to help comfort her? she doesnt believe in god/religion and she is really sad, i tell her the grandma will be ok and everything will be fine. I dont think it seems to work :wtc:

    help?
     
  2. vitamin dew

    vitamin dew New Member

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    I wouldnt say that everything is ok and everything will be fine because that may not be the case. Just say that you'll be there for her no matter what happens, and that you hope for the best. Let her know that she can talk to you about anything, and you'll listen.
     
  3. Metal

    Metal Active Member

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    I agree.
     
  4. Jasmine

    Jasmine New Member

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    having gone through this m yself and recently, i can tell you that things you can tell is that even though its hard to see her grandma go, at least she is not in pain anymore. even though it is tough and we want them to be with us, we can't always focus on that, we need to focus on the person and that person is suffering. even though it is painful for us to see them leave, she is no longer suffering.... and i think thats important to remember

    here is a topic which is kind of similar: http://www.myadvicenow.com/?m=20051116
     
  5. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    You can't say anything and have it really help the way you want it to. You can just express your concern, and let her know that you care.
     
  6. Everin

    Everin New Member

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    Last summer I lived w/ my bestfriend, and at the same time her grandpa was dying of cancer, she not relious either, you just need to be there for them to cry, the situation was different for me tho I knew him too and made a speech at his death bed. you just gotta be there, the fact probly is there's nothing you can say, nor they want you to say.
     
  7. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    You treat her as if you would any other day and make her feel like it's just another sunny day out on the lake house with her grandson/daughter. Quit trying to make a big deal out of it because then it just makes them feel even more sad. Treat her as you always did and thats lovingly I hope.
     
  8. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

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    "So did she leave you anything in her will?"

    But seriously now, just be there for your friend. She will find a way to cope with it eventually but until then try to make her accept that whatever will be will be. There's no sense in wasting away crying over something that you can't help and I'm sure the last thing her grandma would want is for her to be all depressed over her.

    Death happens, and we do not know for sure what comes after, but I guess being atheist (like me) she believes this is the end and that G-ma will be gone forever. This perhaps, is making her even more depressed, after all why would you mention it otherwise? However, as I said, we do not know for sure what happens, and now Shakespeare's words will do best here:

    :hs: I hope this made some sense at least :hs:
     
  9. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Tell her to think about how lucky she was that she got to know this person as long as she did. Some people don't get that.
     

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