SRS what do you do when your friend keeps taking advanage of you

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by shiba kesaigi!, Feb 24, 2009.

  1. shiba kesaigi!

    shiba kesaigi! New Member

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    background: we all go to college so we dont have a lot of money to spare.

    I have a job that makes fairly good amount of money for a college student. so everytime we go out, he ALWAYS says "yo bro, im broke". wherever we go, clubs and other places, he always tries to pay less and have me pay for him.

    im a humble guy normally and dont really give a fuck about things like this but it has reached a point that i am like his 2nd wallet. I wantted to confront him several times but i just think its a bit childish to argue over 10-20 bucks. but as time goes on, its really been pissing me off. i know a lot of u guys might say, fuck him dont be friends with him. but in reality, u cant just ditch a good friend because he shys you 5 bucks when going out.

    however, im talking about him constantly doing this. at least 1-2 times a week for the amount of 5-20 bucks.

    i jsut want to hear your opnions whether im just being a cheap ass or it is really a problem. and if so, what should i say to him? i dont want him to get the idea that im being cheap its just common sense that if u cant afford, dont go out.
     
  2. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    if you let him take advantage of you he will continue. deny him for a few weeks in a row and see what happens.

    1. he will be cool w. it and understand.

    2. he will stop hanging out with you.... which will tell you what kind of person he is. would you not be better off w.o him?
     
  3. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :werd:
     
  4. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    start telling him you're broke
     
  5. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    do not pay EVERY time for him, help him out once in a while, see how his behavior changes
     
  6. illectronic

    illectronic I'm Coming Home OT Supporter

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    I had an experience like this was many so called "friends". But we were all using drugs at the time. I think the same thing could be applied to you though. Just say no. If he gets mad or stops calling you. Just don't hang out with him. I hate worthless people that constantly ask for money and never pay back a dime. At least you're only down a few bucks. I was down in the thousands.
     
  7. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    It's not childish at all. It's called being an adult. Now if you want to buy someone lunch or drinks or whatever, fine. If you're OK with them taking advantage of you, fine. Those are choices YOU are making.

    If you are pissed, be pissed at yourself....not your friend. You are the one that is allowing this behavior to continue. He is not borrowing money with a promise to pay it back, you are giving him the money in the hopes that this will either be the last time he asks or that he will some how be able to buy your shit next time. Meanwhile, he's likely laughing all the way to the bank.

    Once again...this is your fault, not his. You don't like it, stop it. Or come to another agreement....one in writing where he agrees to pay you back. You know.....like adults do with banks and shit like that.

    However, there doesn't have to be a big declaration of a change. Simply say, "Look, you're going to have to buy your own shit like every other adult in the world. I'm done." When he presses you for the reason you can say, "Because I'm not your fucking mommy. Get a better fucking job if you need more money."....or something equally friendly. :)

    The choice is yours to make to either stop giving him money or to keep bitching about it like a little girl.


    PS.....stop being a fucking cheapskate and buy a subscription to this forum.
     
  8. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    "Yo bro, I'm broke."
    "I guess you're not getting [noun], then."
    "What the hell, bro, can't you spot me a few bucks?"
    "I spot you a few bucks every goddamn time. Pay your own bill."
    etc, where "etc" does not include "okay, I'll pay just this one time."

    EDIT: Alternately, tell him you'll pay if he'll return the favor in trade.
     
  9. Victoriono

    Victoriono New Member

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    You teach people how to they should treat you.

    What do you do? How about saying no next time he asks you.
     
  10. northw3st

    northw3st New Member

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    just like when you break up with a partner, you break up with your friend.
     
  11. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Considering his history, I'd say the friend pays FIRST, NEXT then NEXT again....then it's time to possibly start helping him out again....perhaps.

    Some people go through life keeping score....as long as they are taking more than their giving, they're happy.
     
  12. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Next time he asks, you say "I'm sorry, but if you cannot afford this, you need to do something about it". The you drop the issue. If he continues to press the issue, you ignore him.

    Short answer is, the reason he keeps asking is because you keep giving.

    There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with not wanting to continually loan out money to one who will not pay you back, even if you feel it is small amounts. He's not family, not a dependent, has nothing barring him from getting a job...
     

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