What do you do when friends constanly talk shit about your SO

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by IslanderOffRoad, Aug 29, 2006.

  1. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    I'm getting tired of it.

    I've had quite a few friends in the past few months tell me they don't like my SO, that I can do better, that I need a better girlfriend, etc.

    I don't understand why they have animosity towards her, she's a nice person, I don't bring her around constantly (she gives me space/time with my friends), and she tells me she likes a majority of my friends.

    What do you do when friends talk shit about an SO?
     
  2. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Don't hang around them or tell them point blank...if they don't have anything nice to say about SO then don't say shit. If they get pissed at u and don't talk to you again then thats their fuckin problem.
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I argue with them until we come to an agreement
     
  4. armond

    armond New Member

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    They are your friends?

    Here is a story for you:

    My ex, I was with her for 6 years, she was a nice person/great gal. My friend of something like 6 years BEFORE I ever met this chick called my girlfriend a bitch. I asked him why he would say something like that?! He could not come up with a good reason...

    I went off on him. I told him to stop being the bitch and get over the fact that I have a s/o. If you can't deal with it, let me know and we can end this shit. I told him if I ever heard him disrespect my lady again, I would make sure I left an impression on him. I have no tolerance of just disrespecting ladies when you have no real reason. he literally could not bring to mind a reason for calling her a bitch... How lame right?

    I am thinking that perhaps your friends are slightly jealous, or maybe you aren't spending AS much time with your buds as you use to. They might look at her as the enemy, the one who is taking their bud away. Most people who feel that way have no clue what a relationship entails. They forget that now you have a person you want to spend some of your alone time with.

    They need a talking to. Let them speak their minds, but don't let them run your show. If they are your friends, they will hear you out, and go from there.
     
  5. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    The jealousy thing is very possible. I, however, have had very different experiences with this.

    I was in a relationship where I was blinded. I couldn't see what was actually going on. To me, I loved him. Sure we had our differences and fought, and he upset me, but I valued my relationship.

    Now, after everything is done and said, they were right. They saw things I couldn't see, or that I wouldn't let myself see, I'm not sure which. Sometimes they are your eyes...not to say anything bad about your gf, this might not be the case with you. However, don't completely rule it out.

    As for them talking shit and you want them to stop...I'd just confront them. Tell them you've heard everything they've had to say before, and they don't need to repeat it. You get it, but it's your life, not theirs. And if they have any ounce of respect for you, they'll do it.
     
  6. takumi6

    takumi6 New Member

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    cut of his dong
     
  7. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    Whats funny is that the two who are the biggest shit talkers are dating eachother, and they're fucking drama couple x eleventybillion, they can never hang out with the group without someone crying and locking themself in a bathroom.

    He's alot bigger than me, and I know if I ever said shit about his girlfriend, I'd be on the floor. If I ever said anything to her about him, he'd find out and I'd be on the floor.

    As for jealousy and such, the two friends who would have issues (the single ones) don't. They like her, they used to give me a hard time because every time I came around I brought her, but I cut that back and its been great since.

    The ones talking shit I never saw much to begin with.
     
  8. toeshoes

    toeshoes Guest

    .
     
  9. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    I've thought about this as well. Our relationship has had some rocky times (I've posted them here before) but we've worked it out time and time again. Maybe they're holding something against her from the bad times? I can't think of a thing that I've wanted to do that she's stopped me from doing, or any way she's controlled my behavior, which is why I'm confused on why they don't like her.
     
  10. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Depends if you feel this person is the one for you or if she is just a fling...friends are more important than flings....But if she is very important to you, than you need to make a decision. Best thing to do is confront them all and ask WHY they don't like her...what it is exactly...maybe they all see the same thing and she might appreciate to hear it and know on something she can improve on. No one is perfect and it is always good to try and make yourself a better person :big grin:
     
  11. snoozeallday

    snoozeallday OT Supporter

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    i'd ask them why


    she's probably a bitch
     
  12. snoozeallday

    snoozeallday OT Supporter

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    or makes you a pussy
     
  13. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    get the fuck out you stupid n00b

    that shit belongs in the main forum
     
  14. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    In your case, I think they are jealous of your relationship with her. Some people don't want to see others happy and they'll do what they can to try to sabotage your happiness. Misery needs company..they are not real friends. If they were really your friends, they'd want to see you happy in your relationship.

    When I was with my ex, his brothers and their wives/girlfriends would always try to instigate fights between other couples and it was because they loved drama and want everyone to be miserable like themselves.
     
  15. tnemgif

    tnemgif New Member

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    i jsut figure that as lnog as you're happy, let them think what they want. you've got what you want, and sooner or later they're just gonig to have to accept it or deny you. either way, you'd get some peace and quiet.
     
  16. ass_kicker32

    ass_kicker32 New Member

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    Ive had it both ways. Sometimes, its true they can be jealous in which case, you need to set them straight.

    However, I was with someone who I wasnt seeing clearly and they all told me she was bad for me and told them to fuck off and now I wish I hadnt :wtc:
     
  17. Justin636

    Justin636 Active Member

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    I had the same issue with an ex-gf/wife of mine. I chose not to listen to my friends and cut most of them out of my life being blinded by love. Unfortunately in the end i was burned pretty bad... they were right all along.
     
  18. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    :werd: I can't help but shake my head when I see people doing that. So very naive. Oh well, you live you learn.
     
  19. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    Thats the thing, is I'm trying to walk a fine line. I'm young (21) and while I've been in this relationship for almost 2 years, I'm still undecided in my own mind of the future of it.

    What I don't want is to make my decision because of what others want... whether it be her or my friends.
     
  20. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

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    Here is what I heard...

    1. Your friends think you are making a mistake (i.e. "talking Shit") with your current girlfriend;
    2. You have had some big problems with your girlfriend in the past;
    3. You are now trying to "walk a fine line" with your girlfriend;
    4. You obviously don't know what to do, else you would not ask the question here.
    My advice - Listen to you friends. Walk away form her for a few weeks and see if the cloud doesn't clear. You are too close to the pussy...get your nose out of it for a while and then make a decision. If your relationship cannot take the "stress" of being separated for 3 weeks, then you are screwed................and not in a good way.

    After all, your friends have been your friends longer than you have been spanking her monkey - no???? Listen to them, talk to them and think about it.
     
  21. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    if these are real, good, true friends - peopel that you consider family, basically.... there's probably a good reason. they probably see something you don't.

    if they're just your "homies" they're upset that you didnt make it to the last kegger
     
  22. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    My husband often reminds me that if all your friends hate your 'other', well, they're not all wrong. (He had this experience with a former GF and has seen the phenomena happen over and over again.) It's one thing if it's one or two and you know they are shit-talkers and don't have their own act together. It's another thing if EVERYONE or a MAJORITY tell you or avoid you or act way too politely.

    You need to evaluate the motivation of the people talking shit and then be objective.
     
  23. YARGH!

    YARGH! New Member

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    I love how every response so far has been "fuck your friends, they aren't your friends, or don't listen to them". If I could go back and listen to my friends who tried telling me a SO wasn't good for me I would. I know I have friends who are in great relationships and as a friend I tell them how lucky they are. But I also have had friends in shitty relationships that are not good for them and as a friend I have let them know that too. It all depends on how much you trust your friends, because speaking from experience, when you are in a relationship it is hard to see things rationally sometimes. Its the old saying "Can't see the forest for the trees". I am not at all saying that your friends are right and maybe she is a great girl for you, but to just assume they are full of shit is foolish too.

    EDIT: Nevermind, the last few posts echo what I just said. I only read the first few and got frustrated lol.
     
  24. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    Dude he may be right. If my real friends said that I'd definately ask why. I know they wouldn't say it without a reason, and if my friends had a reason to think my GF was a bad idea I'd want to know why. They are my friends because I trust them, so I will trust what they have to say and hear them out.

    I will make up my own mind and hopefully get over the misunderstanding between both sides, but if my friends were correct in what they were saying it might be time to move on. If it's a completely stupid reason then I'd tell them to stop being stupid and talk about something else.
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     

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