what do you do when a woman (other than wife) give you butterflies in the stomach?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by shanker, Dec 16, 2005.

  1. shanker

    shanker unemployed

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    so picture this, there is this older woman (bout 10 years) that I know, and there is some serious chemistry, it wasnt our first conversation that we had when we noticed this, it was the second, and it got odd quick, because we are both married.

    Its not like a high-school crush, this is serious, and I want to push these emotions aside, but I've never had to push them aside before, I married the women that I love, and I am very much in love with her, but what are these other feelings that this other women gives me?

    Pharamones are definately in action around this one, being around her makes me feel like a borderline anxiety attack, but in a feel-good way, and obviously does for her also, just last week she broke the physical bubble and rubbed her hand down my back and gave me a little spank. I loved it too much to tell her it was un-appropriate.

    so how do I supress these feelings?
     
  2. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    Stay the fuck away from her, that's how. :)



    Just don't cheat on your wife.
     
  3. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    OR you could approach her husband and ask if it would be ok to video tape his wife doing your wife and then ask if it would be ok if you joined in :naughty:
     
  4. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    i sooooo wouldn't be willing to risk the ensuing fistfight.. :hs: :p
     
  5. shanker

    shanker unemployed

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    BUT



    we are co-workers, and I am the IT Director so I am always all over the hospital, she is non-managment.
     
  6. xela

    xela So say we all!

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    Vag. material. Moved.
     
  7. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    STAY AWAY

    you're fucking married.
     
  8. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    Oh! She is non-management, huh? I guess it's ok then. :rolleyes:

    Seriously... I work at a hospital, and I NEVER see IT guys. I don't know your situation, but I think it IS possible for you to avoid her. Especially if you put any ounce of worth in your marriage. If you feel that strongly about it, then divorce your wife first. Is that how strongly you feel about her? Think about it
     
  9. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    So keep your relationship strictly professional ;)
    If you love your wife and are truly devoted to her, you would stay as far away as possible.
    Is there something lacking in your marriage?
     
  10. shanker

    shanker unemployed

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    is that the only way to supress emotion, is to avoid contact?

    I am all over this facility becuase they fired the previous guy and the other 2 IT guys quit, so Im it.
     
  11. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    It doesn't get much easier than avoiding her.
    Why do you think you're having these feelings? How long have you been married? (curious)
     
  12. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    You're management.... she's not. As a manager, you should move her to someplace in the hospital where you never go. Maybe a laundry lady? Washing the sheets off incontinent people's beds :rofl:

    Actually it wouldn't be smart from a professional standpoint to pursue anything, all considered. If her husband got suspicious, she could get herself off the hook by saying you (being management) forced her into the affair with the threat of being fired. Suddenly you're fired for abuse of power.

    Think about it. This just isn't smart.
     
  13. shanker

    shanker unemployed

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    2.5 years of being married, and with her for 6. My wife still gives me butterflies in my stomach too though.
     
  14. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    Oh for pete's sake, you're married, not dead.

    Did you think in your whole life the only person who would ever give you butterflies would be your wife?

    My advice is to realize that you will be attracted to many people in your life. Enjoy it. Flirt shameless. Fantasize about what could have been. Heck, even have a drink with the lady in question and talk to her about it. Have a good chuckle about it. Next time she gives you a love tap, call her on it, with a grin and regret. "You know, you almost make me want to cheat on my wife. Key word: Almost."

    By ignoring the feeling, it only grows in power. It's forbidden and those forbidden things always have more pull, more desire. If you confront it, accept that you like this lady, but make a conscious decision that no matter how much you like her, you won't get physical (in a no clothes kinda way), I bet it will have less power over you.

    Remember, it doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.

    At 2.5 years married, you've still got some settling to do. At that time in my marriage, I probably would have flipped. Years later, I would actually tell my hubby about it, usually after having fucked his brains out because I was so turned on. He didn't seem to mind so much when he made out well in the deal.
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2005
  15. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    ^^ good advice, but not all people (men and women) are that pragmatic. It would be great if that was always the case, because that's exactly how it should be.
     
  16. dumb_end_user

    dumb_end_user Sad Gus

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    Why avoid it? Just don't do anything inappropriate and you'll be fine.

    I have lots of friendships where we share a lot of sexual tension and it is a lot of fun. There is no expectation or misunderstanding on whose bed we will be in at the end of the night - just fun.
     
  17. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    :rofl: Are you married?

    Flirting with other women isnt going to help any marriage at all. Thats why so many people end up cheating, because they push thier own limits.

    Why flirt at all? Why put yourself in a situation where the POSSIBILITY of cheating may even arise?

    We are all humans, and eventually if you keep putting yourself into situations where it CAN go to far, it WILL. Most times when someone cheats its not something planned, its a spur of the moment passion that occured when they put themselves in a position where it cheating could happen.

    Seriously, some of the advice that comes out of here is definite reasoning behind failed marriages these days.
     
  18. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    WORST VAG POST EVER!!!!

    Why avoid it? how about because he made a vow to his wife. Putting yourself intentionally in a situation where you CAN cheat, is just as bad as cheating. You plan it, you think about it, and soon enough it will CONSUME you.
     
  19. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    I completely disagree. I love to see the smile on my hubby's face when a woman beside me tells him he's got a great butt.

    Of course, there was a time, earlier in our marriage that I would have ripped her tits off. That was at the 3 year mark. At 16 years, it's different. We've walked a long road together, it's been bumpy, I didn't think we were going to make it, but we're together and it's better than ever. And I know, that no one will come between us if we don't allow it. Because we CHOOSE to be together, regardless if the other actually does something physical with someone else.

    But it's a different stage. Time has a miraculous effect on relationships. If the relationship means security more than it means enjoyable companionship, then ya got a problem and flirting ain't gonna help. Then you only get 'greener grass on the other side."
     
  20. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    :rofl: You don't know dumb_end_user, do you? He's been married a LONG time.
     
  21. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Just don't do or say anything that you would not also do in front of your wife. Otherwise you're cheating, and just imagine what happens if she catches you.

    Be the adult here, behave like you would want to be treated. Sure, think about her, but then "take it out" on your wife. As soon as you stop being yourself around your wife, she's as likely to stray.... how would you feel?
     
  22. Das_Ubermensch

    Das_Ubermensch OT Supporter

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    remember why you married your wife. One thing people seem to forget is than in life, you cant always do what you want to do when another person is involved if you want to maintain a relatioship with that person. Give and take. So sometimes you will have to make the concession of not doing what you want to protect your preexisting interests. I think its best to think of it not in terms of whether you should do what you want to do, but whether you are willing to deal with the consequences.
     
  23. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    It doesn't matter how long he's been married ;) He is not the same person as who posed the original question. What might work for him (he might have the self control) doesn't mean the original poster will.
    It *IS* one of the worst advice posts I've seen here (argh, I agree with RvB!)
     
  24. shanker

    shanker unemployed

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    I was approached again last friday by her, I was on the clock setting up some PC's and she came in to pick up her check, proceded to walk up to me and hug me, I didnt return the favor, then told me a 5 minute story about how she got bucked off of her horse and had a bruise on her belly from the saddle horn, well, she pulled her shirt up above her braw just to show me a bruise right below her belly button.

    She was also dressed as though she was going to the club.


    I have to say, ide hit it in a hearbeat, but this is getting tough to avoid... Im afraid that next time I'm going to have to tell her to lay off on the flirting and touchyness...

    btw, the week before last, she smacked me on the butt while walking by me in the hallway, and she is 10 years older than me, she should know better, im only 25.
     
  25. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    shankar, how is this happening when you're unemployed? I thought you worked with this woman?

    Also if she's making you feel uncomfortable, tell her to back off. At 35, she ought to know better.
     

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