What do I do?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Xtreme Racer, Mar 11, 2008.

  1. Xtreme Racer

    Xtreme Racer Get Some Dome

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    So, basically i've been friends with this girl for little over a year. She's dated a friend and we really weren't always talking. Recently i've broken up with my gf and I thought, who better to have condole me...than her?

    We go to lunch one day and we're talking about a lot. I start thinking to myself "well, I KINDA have had feelings for her" so I txt her that night thanking her....and we got into a conversation about how we really feel about each other.

    Here's the tricky part. She's got a boyfriend.

    So, saturday night we had made a "date" to go out merely as just friends. Well low and behold one thing led to another...and we somehow..ended up kissing.

    I never wanted it to get to that because...I wanted her to have a totally clean break with her boyfriend (if she chose to do so) and not have me be involved in that entire situation either way. Not to mention...i'd much rather not have the guilt trip of knowing I "hurt" someone else (even though I don't know the kid, nor do I really give a shit about him or his feelings)

    Apparently he read her txt messages last night and found some of the things her and I were talking about so they had a "talk" this morning before she went to indiana to visit her mom for a few days.

    Anyways...tonight we get on the phone and talk about some things and we had to get off because of the fact her cousin was going to sleep, so she was going to text me. So we get to texting and the following conversation goes like this:

    Her: Hey sorry
    Me: it's alright
    Her: i'm so sorry for everything
    Me: no worries, i have thick skin
    Her: Yes a lot of worries
    Me: You just have to take your time and think things through
    Her: I know but either way the outcome is going to suck
    Me: I can't say it won't be hard but you WILL be ok
    Her: Not really I think i'm just going to take the single route
    Me: Well, I don't want that to happen, but you gotta do what you gotta do
    Her: Yeah
    Me: Don't make any quick judgements though. If Chad wants to see you happy, he will. Before you make any decision we need to have a face to face
    Her: Why does it matter?
    Me: It doesn't matter I guess, but I wish it did. For now i'll keep my feelings aside so you can make a better judgement
    Her:Whatever, I give up
    Me: What am I supposed to say? I want to be with you and you're telling me you want to be single. If I keep my feelings to myself...your decision will be that much easier?
    Her: I give up, there will be no decision
    Me: So please, for the sake of not having us argue can we please do this face to face?
    Her: No Good bye


    I really don't know what the fuck to do? I've had feelings for her for a LONG ass time, and I really don't want this to be this way. I'm probably searching for a solution in the WRONG place but....maybe I might get some decent answers?

    Cliffs: fuck you....read it
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Leave her alone.

    I find it interesting that she said "but either way the outcome is going to suck."

    Doesn't say much about how she feels about you and your possible future...
     
  3. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    it doesn't matter what her decision ends up being. don't get with her. she's way too fresh out of a relationship to start one with you.
     
  4. Xtreme Racer

    Xtreme Racer Get Some Dome

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    I think the meaning behind that statement is

    "no matter what I choose, i either hurt or lose someone"?
     
  5. Xtreme Racer

    Xtreme Racer Get Some Dome

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    Her "current" bf and her have been together a month :dunno:
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yeah, just leave her alone for a while. Let her come to you after she figures her shit out. Don't be all needy.
     
  7. Xtreme Racer

    Xtreme Racer Get Some Dome

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    That's just the thing. I'm not being that. Other conversations we've had i'm basically telling her to just do whatever the fuck she wants to do because in all reality, i'd rather see her happy then be with me if she's so torn up about it. I honestly believe she's got a slight case of bi-polarness in her...
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You are being too caring of her situation in general by talking to her about her feelings all the time. Stop being her "friend." If you want to get friendzoned you are doing a textbook job of it buddy.

    Let her figure her own shit out, she's got other friends. If you want to be an actual boyfriend then you have to stop being her shoulder to cry on for now.
     
  9. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    it doesn't matter.

    she's actually being smart about this and deciding to 'go the single route.' let her do that so that when she finally gets into a relationship, it'll be healthy and she won't always have doubts about it.

    seriously man. when girls go really quickly from relationship to relationship, they never work out because they always doubt their decisions without getting a chance to step away from that for awhile.
     
  10. Xtreme Racer

    Xtreme Racer Get Some Dome

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    So, ignore her until she finally wants to speak up?
     
  11. Xtreme Racer

    Xtreme Racer Get Some Dome

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    That's true, I guess I never really thought about it that way. I've mostly heard that if they're in a relationship for a short period of time.....people don't get attached?
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well seeing as how she hasn't broken up with him like it's nothing should tell you something, don't you think?
     
  13. Xtreme Racer

    Xtreme Racer Get Some Dome

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    She tells me tonight on the phone "I don't want to be the one to hurt people". Not that it gives her any ground to stand on but.....??
     
  14. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    that's partially true, but the length of the relationship isn't necessarily as important as the length of the period after the relationship ends AND how it ended.

    it seems like this one is going to end because of a dramatic event (cheated on him with you), meaning she may still have feelings for him, but is confused because she also has feelings for you. therefor, if you get with her, yours and her ex's roles will be reversed and it will lead to (more) drama.

    it would be another matter if she and her ex just never clicked and decided to break up for that reason, then you came into the scene a few weeks later and swept her off your her feet. this case is different.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    What's confusing about that statement? No one likes to be the bad guy. It's the same reason why people hold onto relatonships for longer than they should just because they are afraid to hurt someone's feelings.

    Realize she could be saying that to you as well...
     
  16. Xtreme Racer

    Xtreme Racer Get Some Dome

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    Yeah, I think i'm just gonna chill and lay low in the shadows. I guess now that I look at it..i myself have pretty much gone from one relationship...pretty much into another. Maybe I need to be single... :eek3:
     
  17. Xtreme Racer

    Xtreme Racer Get Some Dome

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    I think another thing that this all has to do with is she knows how I am when bullshit rises. I'm don't like to be fucked with or toyed with and i'll pretty much just stop caring if shit comes down to that.
     
  18. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    if she didn't want to hurt people then she wouldn't have cheated on her bf :hsugh:
     
  19. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    .

    I wouldn't have kissed her in the first place but in your situation I'd just ignore her for a while and live my own life. If she calls after being single for a month or two and wants to meet, then see where shit goes :dunno:
     
  20. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    She is immature and flaking out; you're much better off NOT going there. If she had a head on her shoulders, she would have never made a 'date' with you behind her boyfriends back and it would have never led to the 'kiss'. It would likely also happen to you, she has a lack of character. MOVE ON.
     
  21. Xtreme Racer

    Xtreme Racer Get Some Dome

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    That's the thing. When her and her bf got together she pretty much told him how she felt about me. Not to mention...she didn't make the date behind his back. She told him up front...."i'm going to dinner on saturday night"
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You are justifying all her actions of cheating and what she's saying to you as if it's really how she feels. Get over it and her for now. Disappear for now.
     

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