What do I do to ease the pain?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Mystery Guest, Jun 11, 2007.

  1. Mystery Guest

    Mystery Guest New Member

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    I was dating my gf for 7 years, she moved within the last year and a half 250 miles away to take care of her sick father who had cancer. She decided to stay in Orlando after she found a good job hoping I would eventually move up there. I was both pissed off and hurt she decided to stay, and the long distance thing has been wearing on me for awhile.

    About 2 weeks ago I met someone, and I went a little too far and we talked for a bout a week. I guess I was lonely, but realized that if I am interested in this new girl I have lost feelings for my current gf. I dropped the bomb on my gf 5 days ago. Her world is now turned upside down since we broke up. She cries and calls me non-stop asking how I could dump her like a piece of garbage. I love my ex-gf, and she was my best friend. But I am not "in-love" anymore. I can't stand to see her cry or be upset, it rips me apart.

    After I broke up with my gf I finally went on a date with the new girl, we hit it off.

    The next morning I get a call at 7am, it's my ex-gf and she drove 3 hours to surprise me. I was kind of surprised yet a little agitated. I went back to bed and she followed. I had no intentions of sleeping with her, but I did. :wtc: After we had sex I confessed and told her we shouldn't have. After about a half hour of her crying I jumped into the shower. My ex goes through my cell phone, calls the new girl and leaves a message saying not to talk to me anymore, I have been in a relationship for 6 years. My gf also told her the new girl she just slept with me and not to call again. My ex gf left her 3 messages until I came outside and ripped the phone out of her hands. We argued and she cried hysterically and made me feel like complete shit. I sent her back on her way to Orlando. :squint: I told her I would think about it, I need my space for a couple of days. Another mistake, but I didn't want her to do something dumb on the drive home b/c she said when she left she hopes she dies.

    The new girl wasn't too happy about the calls and told me she has 2 kids and she can't have this crap in her life. She still wants to date me, but wants to take it slow.

    My ex gf calls me this morning to tell me she put her 2 weeks notice in and her parents no longer want her in the house. She begged me for 30 minutes to take her back. I said no every time. My ex is no without a boyfriend, a place to live, and a job.

    I just don't know what to do with my ex-gf. I was all she had in life, we were supposed to get married. I just felt I could no longer continue b/c of my feelings. How do I help her get over me, I've never broken up with anyone before.
     
  2. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    You don't
     
  3. Mystery Guest

    Mystery Guest New Member

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    I guess the best way is to not answer calls and distance myself?
     
  4. TomBrady

    TomBrady New Member

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    YEAH..
    sounds like a mess
    so you dont like your ex anymore?
     
  5. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Yup, she moved away and had her own life. You did the right thing to end it with her instead of dating 2 girls at once. She is the one that quit her job, she is the one that somehow got kicked out of the house. Those are her issues to deal with. I'd try to distance yourself from her for a few months.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Fuck. What a shitty life for her. I'm sorry but I can't help but pity her. She moves home to help her sick father. All the while gripping on the the idea that one day you'd move your ass up there to finally marry her. And then you meet a chick (who has 2 kids) and fall for her in a span of a few weeks?

    Shit, while I respect you not trying to date both I obviously scold you for sleeping with her and fucking her up in the head even more. I honestly can't think of any advice on this one right now.
     
  7. Mystery Guest

    Mystery Guest New Member

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    I care for her as a friend and that is about it. There is more to it though, she is bi-polar and it's like 100 x's worse for her.





    That's what I am trying to do, distance myself. Sometimes you know the answer, but just feel better when it comes out of someone else's mouth.
     
  8. Mystery Guest

    Mystery Guest New Member

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    I know :wtc:
     
  9. TomBrady

    TomBrady New Member

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    well dude
    its better to never contact her again if you want her to get over you/
    the first few months will be hard for her but dont feel sorry.
    the best thing you could do is to cut contact and let her move on by herself
    if you contact her again her feelings will resurface
     
  10. Mystery Guest

    Mystery Guest New Member

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    Well, it looks as though the new girl is history too. :o
     
  11. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    are you happy without either of them?
     
  12. julia!

    julia! New Member

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    i feel bad for the ex. you did the right thing by breaking it off first. but did you ever stop to think that maybe you only felt weird with your ex because you had something new and fresh in person. and now that thats over you might get back to normal with you feelings? just a thought.
     
  13. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    maybe because she's been away for so long you think you lost it for her. have you seen her since she moved? were there problems to begin with other than the fact that she was further away?
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    She's 100% right, thank god she is so understanding and mature. As you mentioned, this woman is a mother of two, so I'm willing to bet she's been married, and if not she's at least gone through a lot of shit and has matured. You've never given us your age either. She sounds like she's not looking for anything other than a serious relationship. A lot of mothers are like that. Is that really what you want? To move from a 7 year relationship right into another serious relationship? You need to be single, not just jump right into another relationship. You have to be single to make sure you know who you are when you are by yourself, also to make sure you don't just fall back into missing your ex because it was so comfortable.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    He posted it just a few posts up. I'm assuming she told him this.
     
  16. I applaud you sir, you have a strong will to not take back someone you love [I'm giving you credit for your will, not the action]. I can't offer any advice as I have never been in that position, but your ex sounds sort-of crazy.
     
  17. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    I don't begrudge her... sounds like it came out of nowhere on her end. That being said, you have to let her get over you in her own way, everyone is different.

    I broke up with my ex (coincidentally in FL) and he was devastated, pulled the same "I don't want to live life" shit. I kept in minimal contact with him, but I would end the conversation if it turned toward us as a couple. I talked with him about everything else, but if he wanted to talk about getting back together, that was IT. Try that, and slowly distance yourself, but do it slowly or you risk her clinging harder.

    Tough fucking break, man... you must feel awful as well. She will get over you, and get better, and find a new man. But it will take a WHILE.

    Hang in there...

    DA
     
  18. Mystery Guest

    Mystery Guest New Member

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    I really liked the new chick, we had everything in common. She is smoking hot, I actually thought at one point she was out of my league but apparently not.

    The new chick wants to go out and party, she just got over a divorce. I want a relationship and done with the party scene. We both like each other but the timing is off.

    My buddy says I went at it all wrong, she is just looking for a fling without the attachment.
     
  19. Mystery Guest

    Mystery Guest New Member

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    Funny enough when the new girl told me she wanted to remian friends, I started thinking about the ex again. Probably just because I am lonely.

    We see each other 1 time per month. It's rather expensive though and wearing on my bank account..lol Between flying to Orlando, hotel rooms, entertainment I am spending a good $500 a month on 1 visit.

    No problems other than she is far away. We've had our moments like any other couple. She is very bad with money and not responsible for her age which really bugs the crap out of me.

    Myspace :ugh: but we went to High School together (never knew each other though).
     
  20. Mystery Guest

    Mystery Guest New Member

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    Yes, the new chick's divorce is finalized on the 25th. I am 30 years old, new chick is 28, and my ex gf is 33 years old. I have my shit together, her ex hubby didn't, I am not a bad looking guy. Figured I could sweep her off her feet.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2007
  21. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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