SRS What can't we allow in our lifes?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Verdugo, Sep 11, 2006.

  1. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    Is there a short guide/list of subtle yet dysfunctional behaviours that we should refrain from and not allow from others in our lives? :wiggle:
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Hate/anger/fear
     
  3. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    hmm where'd predators post go?

    Anyway, I don't like it when somebody asks me something and somebody else interupts or tries to answer as if it was addressed to them. Used to happen to me quite often because I wasn't very assertive.
     
  4. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    Ok, so what type of person is worth keeping in your life and most important of all is how do you maintain that?
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Those people that bring love,light,positive in your life, get rid of the people that bring darkness,hatred,negativity into your life.

    To maintain this is done by bringing love,light and helping other people on a continues basis thru-out your life.
     
  6. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    People close to me have told me I'm all that but unfortunately on my end I don't feel reciprocated. I think I hold an unrealistic high standard of positive behavior for people so I'm constantly feeling let down. I just can't shake the belief that maybe I'll never come across someone not mediocre.
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    We live in a world that is filled with hatred,darkness, and we are here to love and help people UNCONDITIONALLY, meaning that we give without expecting something back. We are all equal, meaning that you can get your point across to anyone as long as that other person allows you to get your point thru. What you need to do is stop putting the power of your life into someone elses hands, and bring it back where it really belongs namely in your own hands. This way you can be your own judge,jury,executor and not care about what others think of you, and focus on the progression of your own life instead of that of others. Everyone has a mind of their own, let them handle their own lives to their own extend, but love and help them wherever you can,without destroying yourself.
     
  8. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    I completely agree with you. I do take care of my life and I'm always progressing but I need people to make life feel not as if I'm going through an assembly line. Is it wrong to look and always expect the best out of people or is balance the key?
     
  9. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    Hmm. Because you can't put real people on the ignore list and make them go away, it could be reasoned that you don't really have the ability to disallow any kind of behavior. What you do have is the ability to control how you react to certain behaviors... maybe you should be looking for a better way to deal with the things that make you feel uncomfortable instead of trying to pretend that the things that make you feel uncomfortable will simply go away. :dunno:
     
  10. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    I never really react, just on the inside I'm dissapointed.
     
  11. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    I know it's cliche, but one definition of insanity is preforming the same behavior over and over again and expecting a different result. Maybe you should consider how to react to these things when they happen to you? If you give me an example, I could be more specific...
     
  12. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    Ok, well on a saturday I drove a friend because she had an errand to do far away. Four and a half hour drive there, 6 hour wait, Four and a half hour drive back. The next morning, sunday morning, our friend was to be married and I had told her that I'd call her to meet up with her because I didn't know my way to the church. I call her and she doesn't pick up. I called her sister and she told me where everyone was. All I wanted was for my friend to call me so I could find the group. I didn't ask to be chofered for hours on end.

    Or if I tell Friend 1 that I'm dissapointed by the fact that I set up to do things with other people and when the time comes around and I call them they don't pick up. So Friend 1 agrees to definitely accompany to the store 2 days later on. That day came around and she calls me to reassure me that we were going to go at 5pm which was when she was gettin off from college and if she doesn't call me (because her cell has problems) then for me to call her. 5pm rolls around and I call her and apparently her cell phone is turned off. So I call her house and her son tells me that she did arrive home but then quickly left with her B.F. So not only did she know I was brushed off before by someone else bu she lead me to believe that we were going to this but then she herself blew me off and hasn't called me since, which was days ago.

    The thing is that I'm a good judge of character and honesty and I don't doubt their intentions but it's the action that matters.
     
  13. kilamasta

    kilamasta New Member

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    I love StarWars too.








    But yea that is pretty much true :bigthumb:
     
  14. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    Absolutely. Leave out everything else. The action reflects the intention 9.5/10 times. I don't know about you, but my time is too valuable to waste on 5% chance after 5% chance.

    If she doesn't respect the premium you place on your finite amount of time, then don't give her the opportunity to waste it again.

    But this is a good example of one thing... you can't make people stop trying to take advantage of you, but you can stop letting yourself get taken advantage of.

    This post was going to be a lot longer, but I'm working on being more concise. :o
     
  15. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    Don't get used man. Never do anyone a favor unless you really want to or there is something in it for you. If you're doing something you dont wanna do for someone else you're gonna get bitter. Then when they don't go all out for you, you feel like "but look how I sacrificed myself for them, they must not even like me." Also basically you're saying that you feel the need to do favors for people to get them to like you. Thats manipulative and weak, and is gonna get you disrespected.

    Also pity is not gonna work with peers. Never try to get someone to hang out with you by saying how badly others have treated you or stood you up etc. Its very annoying and will definetley get you stood up again in the future.
     
  16. SpaMan

    SpaMan Mind over matter.

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    The most important thing to not have in life is greed. Especially for the material. Nothing is worse in life than greed. It's the destroyer of nations-It degrades us into a state of delusion that perhaps if we are better than our fellow man we are a better person. Not the truth. Much to our delusionment of looking inward, we don't see the damage we cause ourselves while dealing with greed. It's a vicious circle. It comes back to you in one way or another, maybe not in this life, but it does come back to bite you in the proverbial ass.
     
  17. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Its wrong to look that way at people and expect the best out of them,why? Because everyone in life has free will, they all decide for themselves which path they desire to take in that life. Which makes everyone go in a different direction most of the time opposite of how you would like them to be. Which in other words means that you are garenteed to be unhappy with other people for the rest of your life,rendering such an approuch in life useless. Stop looking at other people, and start looking at your own life instead.
     
  18. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    I see. I find it very interesting that that's what friendships boil down to after a certain point in life. "What can this person do for me?"
     
  19. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    I couldn't agree with this more.
     
  20. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    That's how your "friendship" is existing right now, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not.

    Performing a "selfless" act isn't selfless if you expect something-- even some form of polite acknowledgement-- in return.

    You will find that when you truly act in a completely selfless manner the rewards are intrinsic in nature...
     
  21. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    And it isn't that friendships become less profound as life goes on; rather, it is that we have the opportunity to recognize true friendships for what they are and in doing so, we realize that the pretend friendships we had earlier in life often fail in comparison to the real deal.
     
  22. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    Let me know when you find this "list". I seem to be a bullshit magnet
     

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