SRS What can you do to stop memories from coming back?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by HailStorm, Apr 11, 2006.

  1. HailStorm

    HailStorm OT Supporter

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    First part-- http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2452405
    Now, I seem to be alright consciously. But, whenever I have a spare moment in the day, the thoughts go back to her. Back to things we did. Back to the good times we had. I try to talk to myself, convince myself that that was that, I should be so lucky to have had such a great relationship, etc. But, most things remind me of her. I listen to music, and it's either something we used to listen to, or the lyrics remind me of her. I've dreamt of her at least once, we cuddled in some random house. The first few days I was "fine," because I consciously spent my time doing other things--keep myself busy. But lately, I overestimated myself, and I've had more down time. Is it that simple, be busy? If so, I can arrange that. If not, I'll take more wisdom on getting over the hurt.
    Thanks all.
    ~Ted
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    The only thing that helps against a lost love is a new love, find yourself a new gf to fill in the gap.
     
  3. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    TIME. That's pretty much all I can tell you. Keep trying to stay busy, and give yourself lots of time.
     
  4. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    I disagree with this. People don't allow themselves time to breathe. they go from relationship to relationship without giving themselves time to be by themselves and find what is working for them in life (people wise and in general). In the course of living life , if you meet someone, that's great but I wouldn't recommend that he find a new love and try to start another relationship so soon after this one, for the sake of having somebody

    HailStorm: It seems you got solid advice in the other thread so in addition to that, I wanna say that the first few days, weeks, and maybe even months...may be time where you will be painfully reminded of what you shared with someone. This is easier said than done, but try to take the positive out of that relationship instead of dwelling on the negative: what you lost.

    Keep yourself busy and throw yourself into life. Things in your life had meaning before your girlfriend. they have meaning after her. Never let someone define your whole world and how you feel. I'm not gonna lie. You will be hurt but keep yourself occupied and around good people. Two years is a long time to be with someone. Now it is time to find out more about where you are, who you are as a person, and where you wanna be. The fact you WANT to feel better is a good sign. You don't want to linger on the past and obsess over it to the point you prevent yourself from living life. You have the right attitude bro. It'll be fun. It took me a year to get over someoe and during that time Iw as depressed, down, and could not be happy for anyone else who was happy.

    Now I know better. I get along by myself just fine and I surround myself with things and people that bring me joy. Love happens when you are not looking for it to replace the love you have for another.
     
  5. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Keep yourself busy. With a busy life, time, and new people, eventually this will be a distant memory.
     
  6. derivative

    derivative OT Supporter

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    Say out loud: "There's more to life than (insert name here)"
     
  7. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Make new memories. But don't try to replace her. Rebound relationships almost never work out, and it's totally unfair to the new chick to expect her to take the place of the old one. That will NOT turn out well. Find new things to do, new things to take up your time and mental energies, something that you do, not someone else. That will let time take its course, and time heals all.
     
  8. HailStorm

    HailStorm OT Supporter

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    Thank you all! I've been trying to focus on myself, what do I want, how can I improve, and so far it's much better!
    I don't know how to thank you all enough, so...
    :hug:
     
  9. Spinkick

    Spinkick Active Member

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    I know how you feel Hailstorm, I keep relapsing the same way. Its driving me nuts
     
  10. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    And i have to disagree with this, mainly because men tend to put their lives on a halt if a woman has deserted them then they jump in a black hole or locking themselves up in a room to cry forever. This time that you supposedly want to give them to heal , is only going to make them dwell in a state of hell over their ex'es ,he's already having everything he does,hears,sees reminding him of her, therefore in my opinion making him move on pulls him out of that black hole, and finding a new significant other can re-lit the candle that has been extinguished in his life, it also saves time,when one finds a supportive gf one can lean on, and find a listening ear from.

    In some cases giving yourself time to pick up the pieces and glue them back together and healing can be a good thing. However i personally don't think it applies to this case, although he's dwelling over her, i think he does want to be with someone not for just the sake of, but really in search for a partner, in my opinion its the best choice to find a new love, that can replace his ex.
     
  11. Spinkick

    Spinkick Active Member

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    I'm pretty sure the only way for me is if I find somone else. I think about my ex almost as much as when we where together.
     
  12. Jasmine

    Jasmine New Member

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    over time you will be amazed at the things you can not even remember. the hardest part is getting there, gluck
     

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