SRS What can I do?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by familyguy101, Jul 31, 2007.

  1. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    Unfortunately, it looks like I will follow the footsteps of my father and shy away from everyone. I currently feel very uncomfortable hanging out with new people. I have lost pretty much lost all of my friends since high school, and the one kid that is left is a weirdo which I have grow to dislike. I can't see myself making new friends. Not many of the guys and almost none of the girls even know who I am or a thing about me. I probably don't seem very shy when i'm with people, I probably come off more as an insecure person. Inside, I am shy and it is very hard to overcome. I feel very oblivious to the things that people my age are doing. I don't know what people do? What are their conversations about? Anything? I've had very little social interaction with people since first year of high school. I am now 19 and I feel like I am missing out on life. I don't do much, and the things I used to do are driving me crazy because I am only pretending I like them to fill the void in my life.
     
  2. c0dyblah

    c0dyblah New Member

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    did you leave home for college??
     
  3. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    no, I'm in community college right now.
     
  4. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    I feel like I know everything about you, yet I know nothing. Do you remember this stuff?

    How about this one?
    I remember those. I lurked all over this board periodically. That was last year, now what about this year?

    What happened? Where is the speed bump? You were doing so well for yourself and seemed happier, then all of a sudden it all died.

    Unlike before, you were hanging out with people and DOING stuff. Now you seem to have migrated back a year to your over-analytical pessimistic attitude towards teh world. If I had to vote, I think you're a perfectionist.

    You need to realize that this world is not perfect, and it never will be. Don't look for perfection, look for satisfaction. You can't go wrong with that.

    What are you trying to accomplish with life?
     
  5. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    Thanks man, it is comforting to know that someone actually remembers some of my previous posts. It takes away my loneliness. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I can't mingle with a crowd. Maybe i'm a perfectionist. I would like nothing more from life than to experience all it has to offer. Sometimes I feel like I havn't experienced anything yet. I want to be happy.
     
  6. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    you are still young and have plenty of time to change things. Just remember that this is a process that takes time. Dont expect to wake up one day and to feel different about everything or to be changed completely. Slowly work on improving different areas of your life and you will see everything start to round out.
     
  7. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    And why do you think you're so oblivious???

    You ARE missing out on life. You aren't doing anything. You're only so "sheltered" because you put yourself there.

    Get your hand off the bottle and the coke out of your nose. :doh: That's a great place to start.
     
  8. Penetration

    Penetration OT Supporter

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    join a club, try something new and exciting, skydiving maybe? whatever, maybe something not so out there, join a bowling league, take martial arts, take some photography classes, meet up with some local car guys (join their forum first?), find something you enjoy then branch out and try to include other people in it.
     
  9. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    I'm 26 years old. I don't have any social skills either. Don't have any friends either. I don't know how to make any. :o
     
  10. Speed_Demon1965

    Speed_Demon1965 New Member

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    I've read many of your posts here in the asylum and I think you need to see a therapist or someone similar. Recently you've made a lot of posts about certain situations that you hate in your life. You need to take all of this, write it down and see someone about it. They can help guide you in the right direction better than most of us can. Some of them have had years of practice in these types of things. Maybe something isn't chemically wrong with you, but you just aren't sure what route to take in life. A therapist could help you with this.
     
  11. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    Everyone please, I hope you all understand that I have zero courage as a man. I have been on the pattern of "taking the easy way out" almost all my life. It is a 1 dimensional state of mind, and it seems impossible to me that I can change at all. I have tried tying the bonds with my family, but after only about 2 hours, I get so scared anticipating the change that may come, that I bail out and ruin the little progress I have made so far. I have bailed out like this about 10 times now, and it is crushing me because I can tell that my own family is starting to give up on me. Not my mother, but my 2 sisters, older brother, and my shrewd little father are showing me signs that they are getting sick of trying to help me. I don't think that's the case with my father though, as he tends to close himself off to people pretty much randomly.

    How can I go see a therapist? If there is any remote chance that someone might find out that I am seeing a therapist, then there is no way in fuck that I would go. Hence my low courage. Where can I do this through?

    As you can see, I am so fucking different than everyone that I am beginning to wonder if I have some sort of mental retardation. I am not joking about this. I have been in all the average classes throughout school except for kindergarten through 2nd grade. Back then I had to go to a "special" class for dumb kids. Since then I have always felt different. Not because of the classes, I just couldn't relate to the way people treated each other, because people treated each with hostility in my home. Fighting, yelling, beatings, and alcohol are pretty much the only things that I remember from my childhood.

    Look, maybe i'm still just going through the teenage years. But most people I know of seem to have grown out of it already. Basically, I feel like i'm not mature yet. I'm still a little kid inside.

    What should I do in this position? I take it most of you are older than me. Please let me know the ballpark of your real age when you post, it would at least assure me that I am not getting advice from a 15 year old. I'm not saying that a 15 year old can't be more mature than me, but I just want to be safe on who to listen to, as I need advice that will prevent me from getting any worse because I cannot fucking take it anymore. I want help, I want to be happy, I just can't bring myself to do it and the fear of doing it makes me suffer to such a level of sadness I never though possible. I will try marijuana if I can't bring myself to make a change within a week.
     
  12. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    Trust me, you're not retarded. You're a better writer than 99% of the people on Offtopic.com. Anyway, stupid is as stupid does. My advice is to get counseling. It works wonders, and it will do tremendous things for your self-esteem. I know it can be hard to admit that you need therapy, but it's clear that you need someone you can talk to and someone who can help you sort your problems out. The simple act of talking to someone and developing a trusting (albeit professional) relationship can be very therapeutic and helpful to people, and I think it would do wonders in your case. It doesn't matter if people know you're going -- nobody cares. The benefits will outweigh any potential embarrassment. It's time to swallow your pride and start doing what's right for you.

    Hope that helps. FWIW, I'm 23 :o

    Good luck! :hug:
     
  13. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    You have no idea how badly I want to make that step. I'm gonna try to make it a goal to see someone within a month. About how badly would you say I need to get help?

    Just some more information about what is going on in my head:

    My first reaction to your compliment was anger. I got seriously paranoid all of a sudden. I couldn't stop questioning your motives to compliment me. It is still making me uneasy that you did that.

    When you read that nobody would care that I am going to a therapist, I got very defensive. I got angry again and very paranoid about why you would lie to me like that. I am assuming it is a lie, as I choose to believe that people WANT to make fun of me for going to a therapist. Maybe people really don't care, but I just cannot believe that. This sort of bullshit is how my own mind controls me.

    I know; i'm fucked up.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2007
  14. illmaceyougood

    illmaceyougood New Member

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    Well of course you're messed up if that statement is true. Anybody would be.
     
  15. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    I must also say that I disagree with the rational that someone cannot be mentally disabled if they can write good.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2007
  16. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    write well**

    Seems like you're not mentaly disabled cause you can't write well :hsugh:


    If you don't mind me asking, where are you from?
     
  17. Penetration

    Penetration OT Supporter

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    you may have social anxiety, go talk to a dr about it, can't hurt, maybe he can point you in the right direction or find a suitable prescription for you.
     
  18. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    drugs... :nono:
     
  19. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    I was born in Chicago but have a polish family. Look at Edgar Allan Poe, he wrote good stuff and was schizophrenic.
     
  20. pulp priest

    pulp priest we're here! we're queer! we don't want any more be

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    someone commented that he should get the coke out of his nose..
    man, there's no easier way to become paranoid and socially inept than to develop a coke habit. when you have a constant supply, it takes all of a few days to become insane, and when the supply is intermittent, you spend so much time being anxious and sketchy that everyone just takes you for a self-involved asshole. or worse, an addict.
    personal experience.
    after you get some clean time, if you're still haunted with anxiety, you may be someone who would benefit immensely from medicating it...but be sure you get a doc who's frank with you, because almost all depression/anxiety drugs are hard to get off.
     
  21. Swedish Boost

    Swedish Boost New Member

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    I have a similar life to yours only I'm 3 years older. I saw a 16 year old kid riding a motorcycle with a hot girl on the back and said to myself why aren't I on that motorcycle with the girl's arms around me.
     

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