SRS What can I do to keep my brother optimistic?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by misfits, Apr 27, 2006.

  1. misfits

    misfits OT Supporter

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    My brother has had some tough times throughout his life, but things are slowly coming together for him...he's going back to school and got a great job after a 5 year hiatus. I love my brother and I want him to be happy...no matter how tough times get, I want to show him that I'm there for him. As much as I do now for him, can anyone give me some advice...maybe someone who's been in a similar situation. It's hard to see your brother down :hs:
     
  2. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

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    It sounds like he is on the right track. Sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven. It's a part of life that helps you grow and become stronger. The hard part is having to watch someone you love struggle. (Wait 'til you have kids.)

    As far as him knowing that you are there for him, I'm sure he knows. I'm also sure he knows how lucky he is to have a brother like you.
     
  3. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    Yeah, he does seem to be on the right track now. I'm sure he can see that you're trying to help him and that's great. Just try to continue encouraging him and such. Tough times come and go, it'll happen all throughout life, you just have to learn take the good and the bad.
     
  4. misfits

    misfits OT Supporter

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    You're definitely right about enduring hell for heaven. I learned that mostly from my brother, as if he went through this situation as sort of a warning for me and my family. Sort of like a big brother teaching :hs:
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    When he needs a break, you can hang out with him and give him a social outlet and break from his studies.

    Give OCCASIONAL praise. Too much and it becomes meaningless.

    Otherwise, let him be. If he's on the right track, then he's on the right track.
    The occasional word from you will be welcome. Otherwise, hang out sometimes and allow him to live a normal life.

    Part of moving on, mentally, is building up your self-confidence. So your compliments shouldn't be based on reminders of the past. I.e. "man you've come a long ways" or similar semi-backhanded compliments.

    Just hang out like guys do, and allow him to build a new self-image, one that is predicated on success and hard work and TCB.

    This might seem like you're not doing enough, but remember that helping someone is a delicate art. There is a very fine line between making someone else feel better....and making yourself feel better about helping them.

    Sometimes less is more. I hope you catch my meaning. No one can walk the line for him.
    Just being on the sidelines to give an encouraging nod when he looks to you for reassurance is enough. When HE looks to YOU.

    Good luck.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I think its really sweet of you that you care for your brother like that. Just keep cheering for him in whatever he does, and try to pull him back on the same level as you and your family are.
     

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