What are your contact rules in the early dating stages?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Mitchj, Jan 28, 2010.

  1. Mitchj

    Mitchj OT Supporter

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    Sorry for spamming this forum with threads, im just always keen to learn from you guys, you seem to have great experience with this

    Im always wary of the 'every day contact' stuff when you have only been dating a few weeks and arnt really integrated into eachothers life, i actually make proactive effort sometimes to not text for a day or two, just to keep that distance keeps them keen thing alive. Or is that completely retarded?

    If you are dating a girl/guy in the early stages how often to you communicate with them?
     
  2. Aquakittie

    Aquakittie Active Member

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    Rules....you go wrong the moment you start subscribing to "rules" that other people claim to swear by. Do whatever feels right in YOUR situation. But just remember whatever habits you develop NOW will definitely set a presidence later.
     
  3. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I communicate as much as I want to communicate, but I do tend to stick to a 1:1 ratio with texts/emails/voicemail. That is to say if you've already left one message and haven't heard back, don't message again. There are of course exceptions, but I think that rule works well on the whole. Aside from that just go with what feels right and if it doesn't work for the other person, deal with it then.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    All I abide by is that texting should be kept to an absolute minimum.

    If you are just getting to know each other and just started dating there's no need to text all day long about nothing. Those conversations can be kept for dates, or at least phone conversations later.
     
  5. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    You're so old fashioned. :mamoru:
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I prefer communication not be dead and ruined by technology within 5 years :dunno: So if that's old fashioned, then yeah.
     
  7. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Texting is still communication.
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: the weakest form

    Maybe I should say I don't want "interpersonal" communication dead in 5 years
     
  9. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I'm sure people said the same shit about phones vs face to face communication when the telephone came out. :rolleyes: You can do whatever you want in your own life, beer, but sooner or later you've got to face the fact that texting is a normal way of communicating in today's society. And it will only become more prevalent as the younger generations replaces the older.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh I've faced the reality, and I'm still ok with texting as a whole. Just think it's a retarded ass crutch for people to rely on in the beginning of dating because they're too pussy to talk to the person's face.
     
  11. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Better they text than nothing at all. :dunno:

    Besides it's not always about fear. Some people just don't like talking on the phone.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    That's the choices? Text or nothing at all? What's so hard about not contacting each other every second of the day and just talking LATER?

    People are glued to their phones as if they need constant contact and acknowledgment, when they could be speaking and connecting to someone sitting right next to them.
     
  13. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    agree and agree.
     
  14. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you really are very weird about this.
     
  15. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    No, I'm just saying if someone isn't comfortable with calling and is with texting, who are you to say they should call?

    So you think there is something inherently wrong about contacting someone throughout the day? Interesting.
     
  16. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Fact: Girl im dating, the ONLY time ive ever talked to her on the phone is when shes in front of my house and needs me to run down and get her.

    We text through out the day, at some points its non stop, at others its every 5 hours. We've never had an issue with 'what to talk about' or not having anything to say.

    Beer you're just very one dimensional when it comes to the topic of texting, is it personal experience you're speaking of? Ive NEVER had an issue with 'too much texting' and I find it rather foolish every time someone mentions texting on the forums you jump down their throat about it :o haha.
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Inherently wrong? I wouldn't call it that. But I think if someone feels the need to constantly share about what they are doing, thinking, etc. etc, then they need to take a step back and figure out why they need such attention.

    We can call a girl an "attention whore" for going around the bar in just a bra, but at least she's honest and puts it out in the open. It's the people texting to each other when they are 5 ft away from one another that I have a problem with. When you are texting the girl you are dating all day long when you should be working....yeah, I also think that's retarded.
     
  18. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    :rofl: Who says it has to be a need? What if you just like to talk throughout the day? You're putting sooooo much judgement on it. Like JAO said, I'm curious if what experiences you've personally had with texting that have made you feel this way.

    And we call people attention whores who want attention from many people. Wanting attention from your mate doesn't qualify you as an attention whore.
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I don't have any personal experiences to give as an example, other than maybe how many of my friends try to text me during the day while they are at work and I'm working....and I think "how much work do they actually do?"

    And I just don't see why you need constant attention and chatting from your SO during the day :dunno: I'm not that dependent on an SO and I certainly wouldn't promote for people to become co-dependent on anything. I've made my feelings known about this and clearly there are tons of people who don't understand it or agree, and usually they are the people who do exactly what I think is :hay: But who cares? If you are happy texting all day long then continue to do it.
     
  20. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    What if you both enjoy the attention?
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Knock yourself out then! Two co-dependent people should thrive.
     
  22. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    No, no. Two people in a relationship shouldn't enjoy each other's attention that much. :hsugh:
     
  23. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you are wolfskymoon weirdo off the deep end about this one. Seriously.
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: no sweat off my back
     
  25. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    fair enough. If it works for you and your guy, no need to change your behavior.

    I still think you should moderate your advice based on the fact that you hold an extreme viewpoint
     

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