SRS What are likely reasons for a girl to begin to ignore you suddenly?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Cronin, Mar 27, 2009.

  1. Cronin

    Cronin New Member

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    I've been hanging out with this girl I've known for six months a lot the past month. We've been hanging out about every other day and doing silly/random things like going to the park during the evening and then falling asleep on the playground.

    Eventually we began to get close and she "invited" herself to sleep over at my place. I was kind of like "wtf" when she was laying on my bed reading for like an hour but we ended up falling asleep in each other's arms.

    The next couple days we kissed, laughed, and made out - just had fun. She slept over again before spring break and, in the morning, before she was leaving to go on vacation up north with her she asked if she could take me with her as carry on luggage. She said she couldn't wait to see me again and she sent me a text saying she missed me already after only an hour had passed since she left my place.

    She was gone for ten days, we talked on the phone a few times and what not. She texted me and asked me to drive up and visit her and that she couldn't wait to see me. She was getting back Sunday - she said she'd call.

    Sunday rolls around and nothing happens. I don't hear from her all day and I accidently see her on Facebook chat late that evening and write her excitedly asking if she wanted to come over. She said she was tired and had a lot to do.

    Monday, nothing.
    Tuesday, we talk on facebook for a few minutes, nothing big.
    Wednesday, I call and invite her over - she says she's not feeling well.
    Thursday, nothing.

    I wouldn't expect to hear from her tomorrow or this weekend. I've been trying to keep my distance. And I haven't asked her why she's acting the way she is. I've only called her twice since she's been back and only spoke with on facebook Tuesday.

    Why is she doing this to me? Why did she go from super into me to not? I'm feeling very bad about it and I like this girl tons.

    She's 18, I'm 21
     
  2. mg

    mg OT Supporter

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    She probably met someone during spring break, and had sex, which you couldn't provide for her because you ended up falling asleep in each others' arms. I could be wrong though.


    :dunno:
     
  3. Cronin

    Cronin New Member

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    Interesting. I don't like to have sex within the first few days of kissing. If I want to have sex I'll go hook up with someone I don't care about.
     
  4. mg

    mg OT Supporter

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    true, but i guess i was under the wrong impression after i read you two were hanging out every other day for a month.
     
  5. Cronin

    Cronin New Member

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    Gosh, the thought of her with another guy makes me want to puke :(
     
  6. mg

    mg OT Supporter

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    Slow down... my input was only the opinion of one guy who doesn't even know you two in real life. There are so many other possibilities: lost her job and is embarrassed to talk about it, failed a class, lost a friend or family member, menstruating, etc.
     
  7. Cronin

    Cronin New Member

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    Gah, I fell into a trap. I like this girl too much :/

    By the way, back when we were friends, several months ago I recall her saying she likes to "play hard to get" with guys. What the fuck does that even mean and what am I supposed to do? I didn't bother to ask back then what she meant by that because, frankly, I didn't give a fuck.
     
  8. mg

    mg OT Supporter

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    It's starting to make a little more sense to me. If she said she likes to play "hard to get," she wants to see if you really like her enough to pursue her; or... even though she's really into you/attracted to you, she's going to act like she's not. She already invited herself over to your place to sleepover, which was probably out of character for her if she truly plays hard to get. You've only called her twice since she's been back... to her, that may not be enough... but this is also setting you up to get friend-zoned :)run:).
     
  9. Cronin

    Cronin New Member

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    Does that mean she does not want me to respond to distance with distance, but, keep trying whenever she backs away? That's fucked up, why would I pursue her more when she has suddenly changed her behavior and become distant. So what does this mean, I'm supposed to call her more?

    We were friends for five months before we started talking and then got romantic. If there are problems I don't think they'll stem from that.
     
  10. mg

    mg OT Supporter

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    Yes, that's what playing hard to get is. BUT, calling her more will lead you to get friend-zoned.


    I don't think we're on the same page for the definition of friend-zone. <-- Click.
     
  11. mg

    mg OT Supporter

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    Anyway, like I said, her behavior change could be the result of many different possibilities.
     
  12. Cronin

    Cronin New Member

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    Fuck.

    Yeah I'm not calling her for a long time.
     
  13. mg

    mg OT Supporter

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    like i said...
     
  14. Cronin

    Cronin New Member

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    :wtc:
     
  15. korverftw

    korverftw New Member

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    Definitely NOT "hard to get" unless she's flirting still. My guess? Another guy. The only option here is to cut off all contact. All of it. And see what happens.

    Good luck man.
     
  16. Cronin

    Cronin New Member

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    What is hard to get then? And if it's another guy then why doesn't she just tell me? :ugh:
     
  17. korverftw

    korverftw New Member

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    To answer your first question, I don't think it's the "hard to get" game for several reasons. In my experience, usually chicks do this when you first meet them and you don't know each other too well. It's supposed to drive you nuts, but in a good way. Your natural man instinct is kicking in here; you are worried and I think you're spot on. If she was truly playing hard to get, you would most likely recognize it. She would give you flirty hints over Facebook chat, or text message, or on the phone, and then just disappear for a while. Here it seems like she's just lost interest. Of course, none of this is 100% and she could just be messing with you. I doubt it.

    As far as the other guy thing, I could be way off on it. Either way, it seems that she's lost interest. And when a girl starts acting distant like that, the absolute worst thing to do is to keep talking to her. They love it and feed on it. Yes I'm slightly bitter...sorry.

    This has happened to me dozens of times and it took me forever to learn to just let it go. Cut off all communication immediately if you want a chance at getting with her, but don't wait around for her. Move on.
     
  18. Cronin

    Cronin New Member

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    I'm glad I only called her twice this week! Thanks, this helps and was what I was planning to do. So when she calls/texts, I don't answer/respond? How long do I do this for? You say move on, does that mean I completely ignore her for months? :/

    Her stuff is at my apartment though, I wonder when she's going to be wanting that back.
     
  19. korverftw

    korverftw New Member

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    If she calls or texts you, do your best to interpret it and make your best decision on what to do. Hell, if she does start calling you again, you might be in good shape. Maybe she really was just not feeling well, or maybe she really was just playing hard to get and failed miserably. Maybe she met some dickbag guy on spring break and she'll soon realize he's a jerk. Who knows? The most important part here is just don't let her walk all over you.

    When I say cut off all communication, I think it's most important that you don't try to contact her. The reason for this? She'll start thinking of you as "desperate" and get turned off. If she thinks you don't give a ****, she could possibly come crawling back. This is lame, but I would even go as far as making facebook status things of what your plans are. She'll see them and see that you've moved on. If she contacts you, awesome, you win. If not, then you've already begun the moving on process.

    Girls this age just don't make sense. At all. I'm sorry to see you going through this garbage because I know how it feels.
     
  20. mg

    mg OT Supporter

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    :rofl: why the cry face? I was suggesting there could have been other reasons than her finding a new guy for why she became distant. but follow korver's advice :bigthumb:
     
  21. Cronin

    Cronin New Member

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    Wow all that sounds fantastic - even the Facebook stuff! lol. Thanks :big grin:
     
  22. Cronin

    Cronin New Member

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    I dunno I was just :wtc: when I read what you wrote.
     
  23. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Girls who play games should throw a red flag in your face. I would let some time pass, if she does not call you and you still want to see her. Try calling her one more time to invite her out to dinner or something. If she does not pick up, leave a message, if she does not call you back, move on.

    This is what I would do... do what you think is best.
     
  24. lost04

    lost04 justme

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    i have no idea man...
    i'm a girl.. my man is ignoring me...
    he's indian.... probably got engaged (arranged marriage) .. and not know how to tell me.

    sigh*** i'm sad.
     
  25. Cronin

    Cronin New Member

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    :werd:
     

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