SRS We've been broken up for months now but i can't let go

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Outspoken_Hetero, Nov 3, 2007.

  1. Outspoken_Hetero

    Outspoken_Hetero New Member

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    a little preface:
    me and the ex were dating she was high maintenance and she was my first relationship and i was more in love then she was so i was somewhat obsessed....did whatever i could spent alot of money basically spineless. At one juncture in our relationship she even cheated on me which i managed to forgive. from then on in i was like jelly did what she wanted when she wanted sex on her terms only hanging out with her friends but hey i was happy we were together.

    So i was going through a lot of financial difficulty i was spending beyond my means to keep her happy and avoiding paying for other things such as my car and basic bills. i ended up losing my car and having a mountain of stress dropped on me. this stress culminated on my birthday, i had asked her to just hang out me and her hopefully have some intimate time together instead she plans this stupid trip to the waterpark with her friends basically ignoring me and doing what she wanted, later that night she broke up with me.

    after a torrid relationship we broke up this past august (on my birthday no less) and its been kinda rocky since then.
    When we broke up i was still attached and well i said that we should stay close friends (idiot) cause i was worried about her and hoped (stupidly) for some chance of reconciliation.
    Not to put all of it on myself she wanted to stay close as well so we have been. SO pretty much i still take care of her, take her shopping when i can do her homework for her and console her through problems. lately she started hanging out with this other dude and kinda getting closer( they've kissed) she constantly asks me questions about him and what to do regarding him.

    See this would be all fine and good if we were just friends but see when we're together she still hugs and kisses me, we don't get off the phone without her telling me that she loves me. I wont lie i precipitate these situations and i allow these things to happen. At the same time she knows i love her yet she chooses still to use me and continue to mess around with this other guy.

    the worst part is that i still love her and that i want to stay in her life but...but i hate being used and i hate that i'm creating this situation to be used.


    asylum i do love her and i do understand that i need to let her go, its just that i worry about her so much, she still means more to me then even i understand how do i move past this and get on with my life.
     
  2. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    walk away now. shes using you.
     
  3. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    Truth, that is the easiest way to say this.

    She is playing you like a violin.
     
  4. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    As much as it's going to hurt, you need to turn your other cheek and walk away while you still can. She is a leech and you won't pour the salt on her. Now you have to pull her off and suffer the greater pain, or she will suck you dry and move on.

    Someone who puts someone through financial difficulty doesn't give two shits about that person, no one would do that to someone they loved no matter the situation, she probably means she loves you(r money) when she says that. Look at the situation for what it really is, please I beg you to. Everything your gut has been telling you about the situation is true, I know you probably do love her as much as you did before, but she doesn't even try anymore. When she didn't show up on your birthday, I'd have gone fucking ape shit and dumped the bitch before she even put her foot in the water that day. She is someone you probably wanted with you the most that day, and if she couldn't even give you something as simple as her warm body near yours, she is not worth anything to you, because she sees you worse than worthless, she see's you as free lunch.
     
  5. keysmachine

    keysmachine New Member

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    my god...

    ok quote aside.. why don't you just focus on how bad she treated you mean? i understand love is blind and asking the asylum how to forget somebody and move on.. is like askign somebody the meaning of life.

    we can give you pointers

    no calls
    put away everything that reminds you of her
    write a list of all the negative things
    meet other women

    but are you willing to do them? and follow through? you can lead a horse to water but he's gotta take a drink. NEVER try and keep somebody around that doesn't want you around. She only wants you around for validation everything else includeing love she's getting from somebody else. I mean you are so far int he LJBF category its not even funny.. stop being a damn pushover and sack up and walk away.. but the only person that can actually do that is you, Good luck man.
     
  6. Schadenfreude1

    Schadenfreude1 New Member

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    Stop this cycle now. Stop identifying your self worth through a woman. Grow a pair, and tell her to get the fuck.

    She is exploiting your lack of self esteem.
     
  7. 2500

    2500 Guest

    You lost yourself, THATS why its so hard moving on. you NEED to find who you were before her. theres a you in there somewhere, go find him. its the only way you'll ever be able to walk away from the "us."
     
  8. fredisbenitez

    fredisbenitez New Member

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    dude leave her. she is only kissing and hugging you so that you will keep on being her little B- you know what. I knew a girl like that, don't even look at her now.
     
  9. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

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    damn man , this sounds like me so much , its not even funny...

    i have to agree with everyone else on here.. dont walk.. run away from that, man , its just not worth it in the end..

    i know ya still love the girl.. but take it from somone who is doin the same thing.. right now.. yea im still goin thru it.. but i'll tell u what find another girl. and when ya get with her, then look at the girl that you love.. it just becomes that much easier..

    just a lil bit of my story.. basically the same as yours, loved a girl , gave her the world on a silver platter , spent all sorts of money on her , did all i could to keep her happy.. and we were happy.

    that was untill my money finally ran out this summer.. yea this girl didnt abandon me on my b-day.. but instead was just with me and tottally cold to me and my family, didnt get me anything for my b-day either..

    not even a week later she started hangin with her friends on the weekends..goin out till all hours of the night and comin home trashed. A few weeks later i decided to move out, as she was really cold to me. and wanted to do what she wanted, no matter what it did to our finances.

    I moved out , but still helped her along when i could. tried to stay close though she totally pushed me away. and about a month after i moved out.. on my way to work and going by the apartment where we lived.. i see another guys car there.. and yea she was cheating on me with him.. we had a huge fight and ended it right there. But the next day she came crawling back to me.. and said all the things i wanted to hear from her, so i continued to help her, but things just went back to where they were, she was out drinkin with her friends every single night, drivin the car i got her , under my insurance drunk and high, and she lost a job due to coming into work hung-over.

    it took a huge toll on me .. emotionally, physically and financially, she drove me crazy always wondering if she was ok , when she was out drinkin till 2-3 AM, worrying about getting a call from the cops or the hospital that she was arrested or dead from a car wreck. i lost 20 lbs from not eating cause my head was so messed up , and financially , she set me back almost 10 years i figure.

    eventually we started to be friends agian, then she dropped a huge bomb on me.. she thought she was pregnant , from the guy she cheated on me with. and now he wouldnt talk to her. i did my best to hide the hurt from her, and support her with it.. couple weeks later nature intervined and she had a miscarrage , or so she says anyway. during this time we got close again , and started hooking up again .

    now here we are in november .. things seemed ok for a while , but now im seeing her for who she truly is , and that isnt really somone i need to be around. i hooked up with another girl this weekend.. and everything just became clear to me , as to what my Ex-GF was doing to me.

    All i can say is yea its hard.. prob the hardest thing u'll have to do.. take baby steps and work toward the goal of getting her out of your life.. she isnt doing you any favors, and definitly does not love or respect you in the least.
    try to cut down how much you see her.. maybe 3 days a week to 2 days.. then one day.. then once every couple weeks... i think just dropping her is prob too much to bear, i know it was for me

    good luck man , and if ya need somone to talk to hit me up on AIM : Venge97RI
     
  10. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

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    yea just in case anyone cares.. a lil recap of my night.. let this be a warning to the OP here.. had a couple beers and need to Vent a bit

    Basically a few weeks ago when we were getting along fine , we decided to see Papa Roach play here in Providence at Lupos ( BTW awsome show) . so i picked up the tickets.. took the next day out of work as a vacation day and saved the money for it all. i really wanted to have a good time and enjoy it, since i was finally able to get out of the house and do something.

    Fast forward to yesterday .. we are texting back and forth and she says what time should we go ( tix say doors at 7 show at 8 , with 2 opening bands) we decide that we'll meet up around 7:30 .. hang out have a few beers and get there by 8:30 .. catch one opening band and the main act .. seemed like a good plan ..

    now here is where im gettin pissed.. we are fine as friends.. i dont see a need to lie about what your doin at that point.. whatever i dont really give a fuck.

    she asks me for a lil help with gas money , since she is tapped till she gets paid on friday.. now i can afford it for now , so i said id get her a lil gas, just so we'd be able to go to the show and i wouldnt have to hear her complain. says she is gettin her son from his afterschool program , runnin to her friends for a bit , and will call me after that.. so around 6:45 last night she calls me says that her son was really bad today , and now she cant get gas , im like what the fuck.. that makes no goddam sense at all.. you need gas . its 3 mins from the apartment.. just baffles my mind. so text her later , just to make sure she really is going to the show tonight.. says yes.. but gets really pissy and bitchy at me.. and ends up hangin up on me. now im thinkin im sure that her son being bad has nothing to do with it , but she wants to hang with her friends and now doesnt want me around.. again fine.. just dont fucking lie to me for no reason. She calls me back at 12:30AM just to say she was goin to bed.. im like ok.. goodnight


    so today comes along.. im lookin forward to the show.. we were still set for meetin up around 7:30 and goin from there..
    she calls me says can we move it to meeting at 8:30 as she has errands to do and stuff.. which again makes no sense , as she says not 30 seconds later how she is so broke and cant even afford to get a soda . but i want to have a good night. so i agree to it..
    8:30 comes.. it turns into 9 sayin she is runnin late , then 9:30 .. she finally gets to the apartment shortly after 9:30. .runs around for a few mins.. we leave to get to the show.. stopping to get her some food as she hasnt eaten all day finally get there at almost 10 .. drive around looking for parking.. end up droppin her at the door , then parking my car.. so by time i get to the club.. yep.. Papa Roach is 1/4 way thru their set.. i got us each a couple drinks.. show is over by 11:15.. and thats it
    drop her off at the apartment and she is like bye.. and thats it..

    its like wtf... i really wanted to enjoy this and not feel rushed and all that.. and in the end.. i miss 1/2 of the show.. and am home by 11:45 what a fucking waste of time.. she could have least been honest with me.. said she was with her friends ( or what it sounds to me , she was ridin around on this guys harley) and she is runnin late , i would have dropped off her ticket and just had her meet me there, or whatever.. just pisses me right the fuck off

    so like i said.. dont try to stay friends with the Ex-GF its just not gonna work.. they dont give a fuck about anyone but themselves.. and they wont change..

    sorry for the threadjack , but im just fucking pissed off
     
  11. BlaXicaN

    BlaXicaN OT Supporter

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    same thing happened to me except i was with her for like 6 years... after 2 months of trying to be all emotional and talk it over i moved on. a year later i emailed her on her bday and gave her a gesture that i didnt mind hanging out now but she hasn't bothered to it seems which is fine. she might still be bitter about something.
    one thing about relationships, you just take what you can get from it and move on no matter what the situation is. you live and learn. i would never let a girl try manipulate me like that ever again.
     

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