well

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Nov 11, 2007.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Just had my first almost-fight.

    She was cleaning the house's bathroom and I popped in to tell her we had a movie we could see in 20 minutes if she wanted to put the cleaning on pause until we came back later on.

    She was hesitant to do this but eventually decided for it. Then she noticed I had tracked dirt onto the floor... whoops. I said I would clean up the rest, if she told me what was needed, while she got dressed to go to the movies. She told me the bottles still needed to be put away.

    I thought I put the bottles away. Then I went to make some food. I forgot about the marks on the floor, or I guess absently just kind of thought I would clean up the marks later when we got back? :hs:

    Anyways she came back into the bathroom and it turned out I had only put half the bottles away and the marks were still on the floor. "I can't leave it like this," she said. She cleaned up and came out and told me with wide eyes that I had not put the bottles away and had not cleaned up the marks on the floor.

    I told her I was sorry. She said she could use some reassurance. I gave her some reassurance. We missed the movie. :(

    She was really disturbed, though. Her eyes were really wide.

    I think what happened was that she was upset at me, and since that doesn't really happen, she was upset at being upset at me... which looped. :noes: No doubt we will have a real fight some day... but this was pretty weird.
     
  2. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I guess I've never seen her depressed :dunno: I'd like to cheer her up but I am not sure how. Maybe she will like the movie.
     
  3. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Um...all over cleaning bottles?
     
  4. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    If I may make a suggestion jjj, sit back and let her cool off. She needs to come to terms with the fact you are human and that you will forget things as all humans do.
     
  5. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    so is this girl your girlfriend or just your lover or what?

    fill me in.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: What a lame ass fight. If you honestly don't believe or she doesn't expect some kind of tiff over petty shit, you're in for some fun times ahead :mamoru: Just because you don't have the label of bf and gf doesn't mean your relationship will be a breeze without fights. Just sounds like you guys are still in that honeymoon phase where you are blissful....but soon that ends and the fights begin, haha.

    How long have you guys been dating ,or been lovers, or whatever?
     
  7. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    dunno, maybe the fact hat she just spent all this time cleaning, and he tracks dir all over what she just cleaned, SAYS he's going to clean it, and when she comes back it's NOT done.

    to some people that's just taking you hard work (yeah it may be petty cleaning) and just ruining it and not being considerate enough to correct it. :dunno: it fucking happens.

    JJJ, this is just a little taste of what it is to be with a person for the long haul. the little tiffs WILL happen. it's what you do During and after the tiff that makes the relatipnship work. You two need to communicate a little more clearly, even over stupid shit like cleaning.
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Thanks beer, good looks.

    Schadenfreude, schadenfreude, schadenfreude, schadenfreude - yet she's a mod! Ah welll. Not that old chestnut a-gain.

    "Soon that ends and the fight begins, haha." On the surface, it sounds like you felt challenged by my relationship and, seeing a potential chink in its armor, laughed victoriosuly. ON THE SURFACE. But you know what? You're right. The distinction between what I have and what you have is SEMANTIC bullshit.

    Call it "bf" ... call it "lover."

    That doesn't make me no better than you.

    I CERTAINLY ain't in no healthier LTR than you are! Shit. We the same. "HA ha," as you say. Feel better?

    Lol. Jk jk, you know I love your style.

    Now some might say that there's a difference between "tough love" ... and "bitterness," between "telling it like it is" ... and "disrespect."

    But those distinctions are just even MORE semantic bullshit. I am so full of it.

    Rationally of course I believe my lover and I WILL have a fight about something. We always joke that we really need to have a huge fight about something really small. And you're right - this COULD have been that fight! It wasn't, because frankly it is a little hard to get started with the fighting in a relationship like this. But it could have been.

    After all, I can fight with a stranger. I can certainly fight with someone I'm in love with.

    Now I will admit, that it is a little hard to imagine fighting with her because a) it hasn't happened yet, b) there are certain things most people fight about that don't apply to me. For example I heard some guy telling us his girlfriend was pissed off because his phone was off. Yeahhhh... um. Not my life.

    Good stuff though. You have come a long way, beer, and I've seen a lot of productive stuff out of you for the most part since we clashed a few weeks ago.

    But I actually came back into this thread to inform people that I had figured out how to do it. I just go with the negative energy and then exaggerate it affectionately but humorously. This is a mood lifter.

    My lover just came in and said "should we go be depressed at the mall?"

    And that is what we're gonna do.

    Peace and as much love for you as you have shown me. <3
     
  9. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    that was the weirdest post i have ever read in my life.
     
  10. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    :rofl: That is EXACTLY what I said when I read that
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :mamoru: I don't know why you think I'm jealous of you or your relationship...and I still don't know why you get so damn touchy by anything I post. My post still made sense, even Phantom Empress agreed. Little tiffs happen eventually. I'm not even sure why you posted this thread in the first place because I know you are intelligent enough to know that petty fights happen. I didn't read this post, even though I quoted it because I get really tired of reading them :rofl: Again, get over the fact that I am mod, I'm still the same person, take my comments or leave them :dunno:
     
  12. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    Read more of his posts and you'll see that a lot of them are weird.
     
  13. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    Are you high?
     
  14. Neuman

    Neuman New Member

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    how old are you?

    sounds like from both your posts you have the tiff figured out in your own way..
     
  15. red_fox

    red_fox New Member

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    I can see being mad from her point of view. I would be mad but then get over it. (I just cleaned a room, it got dirtied, someone said they would reclean it for me but didn't) but I think you guys'll be fine :)

    your second post: whaaa?
     
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2007
  16. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Fights are almost never about whats actually being said, in my opinion. Or at the very least, they're about something else as well.
     
  17. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    .
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    So so true.
     
  19. fray

    fray New Member

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    I don't know. Little piddly things are usually the fights that me and my bf have. I'd rather have the occasional small thing that neither of us really cares about or holds onto than huge blowout fights over something important.

    Like PE said, probably more the lack of concern about what she was doing or wanting to fix it than what you actually did. Or she's just stressed out, that's usually when I start to care about stupid things.

    As long as it's not a big deal after the fact and you can both move on, does it really matter?
     
  20. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Thanks PE, I appreciate it. We haven't had a tiff yet but I'm sure it will happen.
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :dunno: You can ask about anything I wrote there if it was confusing.
     
  22. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    what u talkin about? u didn't even read the post.

    i was saying you are much better now as a mod than you were. and i'm sure you're not jealous or whatever. when you said "soon the bliss ends and the fights begin" and then laughed about that, it SEEMED like you were exhibiting http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude schadenfreude. superficially what you posted doesn't sound very good. like if you read it out loud, it might SOUND petty. but I realize now you have the best of intentions and were simply attempting to commiserate with me about the fact that the honeymoon period ends. even if you're wrong, and that doom does not apply to me, and it's not a "honeymoon period," your intentions were good. were they not?
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    zing :hsugh:
     
  24. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :rofl: I feel like I'm speaking a different language here.

    I reread that post, and I can see that it was disjointed. But if someone else had written it, and I read it, I would still be able to understand it. :dunno: I didn't think it was so inscrutable.
     
  25. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    Ha ha, coming in on the end of this it is actually pretty funny to read:) More of a stream rather than a regular post, but sometimes those are the most coherent. Maybe not in this case, but still... :kiss:

    I have tiff's like that with my SO because it represents a larger issue for me. It's not the fact that this one time, he didn't do the dishes (or whatever), it's that there is a perpetual cycle of the same, and this one infraction reminds me of the cycle. There are usually two options, acceptance and conflict. In my opinion, choosing the correct battles to fight is more than half of real compatibility. I try to ignore the little things because making a mountain out of a mole hill will only make things worse, but ignoring the global issue fixes nothing...

    Long story short, she probably was thinking about something different, like Demos said. And you will make a little more effort to help her out, and things will be back to normal. I guess, try to see them before they explode? I'm sure things will be fine:)

    DA
     

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