SRS Well, this blows v. friendships (and the lack thereof)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by PanzerAce, Jun 7, 2007.

  1. PanzerAce

    PanzerAce Active Member

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    I realized today that I have some kind of wierd inability to keep friends for more than a year. It seems that basically everybody I meet at college I am friends with during the year, but the instant summer rolls around, they are instantly out of my life. In fact, after the end of this year, I have really only made 2 friends that I would make any effort to keep in contact with (if they weren't my roomates). Add to that the one person that I still keep in contact with from high school, and I only consider myself to have 3 friends.

    Blows, doesn't it? I try to be sociable, and when school is in session, it seems like I have made friends, but every year, they all disappear, only to have the process repeat with new people the next year.

    At this point, I could talk about how except for the one person from HS I keep in contact with, I can barely make, let alone maintain, any friendship with girls. But I won't, since I need to save that for another post (if I ever make one on the subject).

    damn, even to me that doesn't really make any sense right now.

    Cliffs: I only have 3 people I consider friends after all of HS and 2 years of college. I try to make more friends, but can't keep them longer than a year (sometimes not even that).


    Oh, and of my 3 friends, I haven't seen one of them in 6 months so far (wont, either, for another 2 months probably), and by the time I get a chance, I won't have hung out with her for over a year.

    Sorry for the rambling, but its 1am, and I have been awake for 19 hours straight, and I have 5 hours before I wakeup for my job. I'll answer any questions later.
     
  2. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Here's the fucked up thing....10 years from now, some fat fuck that you don't even recognize will run up to you, hug you and ask....so remember me???

    OH and keep in touch with the ones you really like. You'll regret it if you don't.
     
  3. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Indeed.

    A person can have alot of associates, but not all of them are really friends. Maybe it seems like that to others.

    I don't find that it is unusual to have like 3, 2 or just 1 person at a time you would call a proper friend. Alot of them seem to be just temporary friends while others you just click with and get a connection that stays.
     
  4. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    Yup. I have 1 very good friend from high school. I neve managed to make any truly great friends during college either.

    I'm also a member of a car club. I go to school and work during the summer. Still, I have not been able to find anyone who I could connect with like that.
     
  5. PanzerAce

    PanzerAce Active Member

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    well, atleast I'm not alone in this situation :hsd:
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Naw...it's part of going to school IMO.

    Ya know, I have a couple of really long term friendships. One of my buddies I've known since like 1st grade...but he remembers me from before that. When I tell people that, they usually always say....geee I wish I had friends like that. As if it's some mysterious thing that happens only to a select few people.

    There's no mystery. We're still friends because we each reach out to the other. Not all the times and we have certainly had our difficulties throughout the years. However, no matter how much time has passed, we still reach out and say hello from time to time and there are times where we're both going through similar things in our lives so we'll spend more time together.

    So....if you want more long term friends, keep reaching out to them. Every couple of months just pick up the phone and say hey...or drop an email or invite them to lunch. It doesn't really matter just as long as you make contact.
     
  7. PanzerAce

    PanzerAce Active Member

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    that is the thing though, it isn't an issue of time. I lose the friends I make over the year in the 2 and a half months that we have for summer before people start coming back to town.
     
  8. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    I find that we live in a very fast paced society (more true in large cities) that promotes personal achievement and making something for yourself. It seems that nowdays it is important on bettering yourself in any way possible, whether it is by reaching carreer or material goals, or self-actualization goals. So it would make sense not to have a large amount of people in your life for no reason, and only have the people that help you to get to your goals.

    Thats the way I see it as well. Surely not everyone that you know truly want to be with you. They might chat with you sometimes or have a drink but if they will not stick around for years by your side, what is the point of having such a person in the long run?

    Me personally I have a lot of acquantances but 1 real friend. I moved around during high school and elementary school years so I lost touch with a number of people. I can't call people that I know "friends" because I could not ask them for a favour like loaning money or support when I need it.

    The people that have lots of friends are probably just because they are more social around people and other people want to be with them because they are either funny or have something going for them. But the average person, I would think, are just like you and me and the person next to you.

    my .2
     
  9. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I'm not sure what you mean because I just told you that there are times when my long time friends and I don't talk for months at a time. Just because 2 months has passed doesn't mean they aren't your friends. Yes it's better if you put forth more effort into maintaining contact but noone is perfect.

    And why do you think that after 2 months you aren't friends anymore?? Do you snub these people when you see them again at school?
     
  10. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    Our lives are like revolving doors. Many people will enter, many will exit. Few will stay.

    I just took a moment to think about my own friends. The 3 closest ones have been in my life for 7 years or so. And even with those 3, we may go months (sometimes a year or more) without seeing or hearing from one another because life gets busy for any of us at any given time.

    As for the others, some just kinda faded away because life has directed them (or me) elsewhere. No hard feelings, that's just the way things go. Sure I miss certain special friends, but whining about it won't bring them back into my life.
     
  11. Jenious

    Jenious New Member

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    I have about 4 people that are good friends from high school and college the rest were single serving friends...
     
  12. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Going from elementary school, the class was always of the same composition, you could have a friend for several years.

    Going to high school, the classes change constantly, people come ,people go, when changing a school, its the whole story over again, its no wonder people aren't attached because they know they will lose those people out of sight sooner or later anyway. I personally in high school didn't bother to get friends as i knew they'd be outta my life in a jiffy anyway.

    Its normal that people come and people go out of your life, you can't really hold onto anyone, so as i showed in my example its the people that form a 'constant' factor in your life , which are more likely suitable to be your friend(s).
     
  13. bigman7903

    bigman7903 OT Supporter

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    I have similar issues, going into my soph yr of college, i dont really keep in touch w/ anyone from HS, nor do i really want to, and i have 3-4 friends from college, 3 of them (plus me) made up a motley crew but one left and the other two are at each other's throat all the time w/o the other one as a buffer and i havent really talked to the other two that remain since school let out (one is in VA, the other one is completely latched on to his GF). my other friend is a girl i go to school w/ and i get along w/ her fine and talk w/ her constantly, but i feel awkward as shit around her and part of me wants to break the friendship off, but the other half needs the companionship (i have no attraction to her).
     

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