well I'm separated

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by the_tinman, Aug 29, 2007.

  1. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    you may have read my previous threads where i was having problems with my wife. she now wants to separate. she says she dose not want to have to worry if she texts all day or goes out with her friends if ill be mad. well I'm heartbroken she says she want to work on us but basically in her own way.
    she says she wants to be married but single not seeking anyone and if anyone comes her way shes not going to talk to them :ugh:. If I do want a divorce she wants me to wait until she goes into the air force. i don't know what to do i feel lost.
     
  2. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

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    I agreed with him, assuming that "live without her" meant more of a be able to not have your entire happiness and life wrapped around her or to have a relatively full life of your own that doesn't always have to include her, not be capable of walking away at the drop of a hat. Having your own separate time and interests helps with the giving her space as well.
     
  3. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    viper this is what is up with the texting thing(from my other thread)
    (from san antonio 3hours up and back)we went to Houston yesterday to the downtown aquarium all the way there texting get in again texting halfway through texting go to dinner texting on the way home texting we get home i got to sleep she lays with me for a bit goes to the living room and texts some more wake up to go to gym shes laying next to me texting
     
  4. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    yes sir all the way up to houston and all the back from houston most of the aquarium and at dinner well half of it she had to eat. we went to bed at 10 we were tired she got up went to the living room and was txting till 4 when i went to the gym

    so yeah constantly txting 1920 sent last month and 1800 recived i know cause the bill was high
     
  5. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    shes fucking talking to another dude. man, fuck that shit, get a divorce
     
  6. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    Fanatic or not, that shit's disrespectful.
     
  7. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    so i should basically let her go. if she goes to the club and dances with guys just blow stuff like that off ? (more or less do stuff even though it makes me uncomfortable)
     
  8. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    Yes. Viper is right. If you give her space, and she still loves you, she will likely come back...in time.

    In the meantime, figure out what damn insecurities lead you to be so possessive, and work on them. That's the only way you're going to be successful in the future, inside or outside of this relationship.
     
  9. Troy

    Troy New Member

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    No, let her go she's disrespecting you and if you let it continue you will be reduced to her little bitch. She's playin you like a Drum.
     
  10. Troy

    Troy New Member

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    Did it ever occur to you that she is a spinless snake?
     
  11. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    define spineless weasel
    your helping me alot by the way thanks for everyones help (not meant to sound sarcastic at all)
     
  12. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    no im not taking it as harsh at all it seriously is helping me i dont konw how to stand up to her about the whole thing .i am jealous and controlling i admit that the thing im trying to find out now is how can i change my ways and find out how i get over my insecurities and possessiveness/jealous ways.
    i cant express how much i do want it to work out...kinda like peta against fur not really a good example but you kinda get where im going
     
  13. nsane

    nsane New Member

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    I know one thing that's kind of helped me work on insecurity/etc is the personal growth section on coping.org. Might wanna check it out...
     
  14. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    i wouldnt take my wife back if she was cheating on me :ugh:

    the choice is easy, the process isnt
     
  15. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    thanks everyone for your help
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Sounds like you are her bitch and your marriage is kind of a sham honestly. It's very sad that you are still together and putting up with her shit in hopes she'll change her mind.
     
  17. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    wtf? Im not going to bother disecting it... The bitch doesn't love you any more. stop wasting time and energy on her.

    shes disrespectful and clearly does not value you. there is nothing to salvage. cut your losses and gtfo.
     
  18. razi

    razi New Member

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    you can give it a shot together, but I would suggest some time apart. know, though, if she doesn't want to make it work, it won't work regardless of what you do.
     
  19. the_tinman

    the_tinman New Member

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    yeah thats what alot of people are saying and it also what i belive
     
  20. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I agree with Viper here because I was once/sorta still am in a similar situation.

    In my last LTR of 6 years eveything was good and then around year 4 she started wanting to go out more and do more things w/out me. Naturally I took offense to this and didn't want her going out to clubs/bars without me, and had a rather jealous/controlling attitude towards her.
    Eventually this ate away at our relationship because the more I didn't want her going out the more she wanted to go, and the more she wanted to go, the more upset I got at her desire to go out.

    In the end, it drove us apart.

    As Viper has already said, you need to give a woman her freedoms. Obviously there needs to be a line to what is acceptable, but if she wants to go out with some friends then let her... if she wants to go to a club and dance then let her... The point is that at the end of night it is your bed that she is sleeping in.

    Women want to know that they can make their own decisions in a relationship and that their man is secure enough to have faith/trust in them. It is tough though, because people are saying that this will save your relationship, but sometimes if you're too lax about things they think you don't care and take advantage of the freedoms of the relationship... Like most things in life, it's all about the balance.

    I would take some time apart from one another (in which you work on those insecurities) and then get together for a civil conversation about where to go.... Express your concerns to her, but in a manner which shows you do so because you care, and not because you are insecure and controlling.
     

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