Well, I'm mildly pleased with myself

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Jarg0n, Nov 17, 2009.

  1. Jarg0n

    Jarg0n New Member

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    I randomly went up and introduce myself to some random chick and started hitting on her at a bar last Friday. It probably won't seem like a big deal to most of you, but I'm trying to step out of my shell. If you met me now, you probably wouldn't know that I had one, and it never was an extreme case by any means, but I'm trying to be more extroverted at any rate.

    I had seen this girl the previous week and at the bar and wanted to do it then (because her and her girlfriend were standing right next to us for at least an hour), but I balked. This week, she and her friend were approached by a below-average group of guys and sat down at a little table with them. I waited until she went back inside the bar from the back patio to get a drink and just walked up to her and said jokingly, "You girls look like damsels in distress." Haha. I guess that's all I could come up with. She agreed and we started chatting.

    Long story short, I (and my buddy joined a bit later) chatted her up for most of the night. At the end of the night, she was reeeally hesitant to give me her phone number, and took mine down instead (she still hasn't called...hehe). My wingman thought her behavior was somewhat unprecedented since we had a stellar conversation for most of the night. Oh well, can't win 'em all I guess. Another thing that was odd was that she gave me her business card around 12:30pm (we left at 2), but it didn't have her cell on it. Also, I still have some Arabic money in my wallet from my stint in the middle east and gave her a small Arabic note, with which she replied, "What am I supposed to do with this?" I usually get an, "Oh, this is so cool, thank you yadda yadda yadda." Hehe, maybe she was just nervous? She held onto it a while and didn't even want to put it in her purse.
    One thing that i mentally solidified that night is the fact that it's easier to approach a girl when

    1) She's not with girl/guy combos
    2) She didn't come with a large group of friends who only have a cohesive interest in each other
    3) You're with a wingman and she's with a friend (2 on 2)
    4) They're not total bitches
    5) You have a sense of empowerment over the encounter

    I don't have a problem approaching hot women, but if they're in a group of friends or enveloped in a conversation and have a shield around them, I usually don't think about approaching them.
    Anyway, sorry for that side note. The aforementioned lass was probably a 6-7/10 in my book, although I have drastically different versions of hot than most of my friends. I thought I could go in for an easy kill, but I don't expect her to call though. We'll see! We definitely weren't highly compatible, but I just wanted to see if I could pull this off. I got a lot of confidence from browsing the Vag late last week and just decided, "F it, Let's do this."

    I'm trying to execute a small paradigm shift in my personality, which (apparently) currently includes being too cynical and condescending towards women (and men). Sometimes what comes out of my mouth doesn't reflect what I believe my inner personality wants to convey. I think I'm a softie, but often come off as a discerning prick.
    As a final note, does anyone have a recommendation for a book on engaging in conversation, the different elements of a conversation and keeping someone interested in a conversation? I'm sure there's books out there, but I don't know where to start. I'm interested in how my conversation and choice of words affect how I'm perceived by others.
     
  2. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    Last edited: Nov 17, 2009
  3. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Congrats on getting out there, bro. Keep up the good work.
     
  4. kopetzki

    kopetzki Banned

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    congrats dude. I've been trying to do the same thing as you, changing my personality a bit and actually going up to girls at bars/clubs and talking to them. I've only been rejected :rofl: props to you for pulling through.
     
  5. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    :h5:

    keep at it. even if this girl doesnt call who cares? the simple act of talking to her has further increased your confidence which will make your next encounter even easier.
     
  6. giz

    giz Active Member

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    start by just talking to them. you can't be "rejected" if you're not trying to get anything from them.
     
  7. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Congratulations. :bigthumb:
     
  8. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    lol

    guys dont go up to random girls just to talk. there's always a reason. we all know what that reason is.
     
  9. kopetzki

    kopetzki Banned

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    thats not true. Scumbags maybe, but when i strike up a conversation with a chick it's usually because she looks/acts interesting and i want to find out more about her. Not all guys are just out there looking to get laid
     
  10. giz

    giz Active Member

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    oh ok

    so you never talk to women you aren't attracted to?

    also, it's pretty important to learn to talk to both men and women.
     
  11. Jarg0n

    Jarg0n New Member

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    Yes, my encounter wasn't exaclty random. I had seen her there the week before and something about her mannerisms caught my eye. I balked and had to wait a week to initiate.

    If anyone has a recommendation on the book or video link I'd appreciate it.
     
  12. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I'm not there just to get laid, but on the list of reasons why I walked up in the first place, it is number 1 with a bullet.
     
  13. teep

    teep New Member

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    you want to get to know them better because it may lead to throwing it in them
     
  14. Holliday

    Holliday New Member

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    wow you sound a lot like me
     
  15. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    so you strike up a convo w. a random chick bc she looks/acts interesting. if the convo went somewhere would you seek more?

    in the end there is a reason you go up to them and its not just to chit chat. i never said its to get laid. but there's always a reason (get a #, set up a date, flirt, etc.... yes, and possibly get laid).
     
  16. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    yes and no.

    i talk to girls im not attracted to in the following situations:

    they approach me and i dont want to be rude.
    they are w. in my circle of friends.
    work


    if i am single and out i have never approached a girl i was not attracted to simply to have a conversation.
     
  17. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    thank god antihero and shooto can be honest w. the bottom line of why guys strike up convos w. girls.
     
  18. giz

    giz Active Member

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    believe it or not, some people actually just like to meet new people. I don't need a reason to say hi to the person that sits next to me on the train :hsugh:
     
  19. giz

    giz Active Member

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    and people like Jarg0n need to learn to talk to people. if you're so dead set on providing a reason for the conversation, the reason is to help himself become comfortable with conversating with strangers. the only thing he needs from the other person is acknowledgment.
     
  20. teep

    teep New Member

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    I like to meet new people too, but if you're striking up a conversation with a pretty girl chances are there's some part of you picturing her naked.
     
  21. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    were referring to different social situations. the TS was talking about walking up to girls at a bar.

    if you were referring to different social situations. like a girl next to you at the airport, on a train, etc.... than i can agree with you.


    i was referring to walking up to a chick at a bar, club, etc.... if you are also referring to these situations than you and i differ in that perspective.
     
  22. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    I edited my first reply with a link
     
  23. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    Well congratulations! I learned from a friend in highschool that you have nothing to lose by striking out. The very worst thing that can happen is you'll get shut down. As long as your ego isn't oversized, you move onto the next one.

    I went out with this guy many times. He had about a 75/25% failure/success rate, and still had more women than any man I've evr hung out with.

    His favorite saying was "I strictly play the percentages" :rofl:
     
  24. giz

    giz Active Member

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    agreed. but that doesn't mean I'm only talking to her because I want to bang her. I picture ugly people naked too :wtc:

    I was talking about conversation in general. :h5: but at the same time, I wouldn't have a problem talking to a girl at the bar that I wasn't attracted to... but I'm going to move on as soon as I see somebody attractive.
     
  25. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I only read the first sentence, but that's good enough for me.

    :bowdown: Good show, mate.
     

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