SRS well i met a girl but (shallow?)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Helmet, Jan 23, 2007.

  1. Helmet

    Helmet New Member

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    like 4 days ago i met a girl ,we'll through a friend. but it started off just as friends. we exchanged #s. so we spoke on the phone and for the past 3 days we've litterally talked on the phone for 3-4 hours every night. shes mad cool easy to talk to etc .pretty much what i really want in a girl. well thats what i thought. i started to think and truthfully she isint great looking. on my scale maybe a 2. didint think much about it at 1st but now that she upfront saying that she wants a relationship things have changed. i like her, and she really really likes me. but i want to and dont want to be with her. if she were atleast a 4 but shes the type of girl you wont look twice at. shes a big girl and doesnt have the best face.i feel bad though. she wants to hangout but i dont know. i dont wanna make her sad. and i dont want to just fuck her and never talk to her again. she said she would like me atleast as a friend but because of her coming on way 2 strong that ship has sailed. i just dont know what to do.
     
  2. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    So she is really into you, but you're not interested in her at all. Don't waste her time or yours, just tell her you don't see the relationship going past a friendship and move on.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It's clear that physical attraction is important to you. It is to most people.
    If you don't feel physical attraction to her, it's hard to sustain a strong bond of intimacy there.

    Some will chime in and exclaim OMG how shallow, he should love the real person underneath.
    Well, be that as it may, it simply is a reality that physical attraction, at least a LITTLE, is important to most people.

    And it certainly is important to the OP.

    So if you're not feeling it for her, then don't continue a charade.
    If you like her as a person and want to be friends, great. Try the "Just friends" speech.

    If you can't handle it at all, then don't mislead her.

    That's all.


    BE KIND AND GENTLE WITH HER!
    Remember this moment, for when a hot girl gives you the "I just don't have those feelings for you" speech.
     
  4. Helmet

    Helmet New Member

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    thats what ive been thinking. its gonna be hard. were probabaly hang out soon and im almost certain shes gonna try to get a kiss. im guessing im gonna make sure it stays rated G lol, then let her know the same day. only thing is that im hoping she dont realize its cause of her looks. because shes already very self conscious
     
  5. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    Helmet,

    Be reassured that she will appreciate you letting her know sooner rather then later. You want her to know sooner because you don't want to mislead her and think that the friendship will become more and letting her know that the relationship won't go pass being friends is something that is important. As long as she knows that then you have already set a boundry for you and the relatinoship and she should respect that.

    Whether or not she's self-councious about how she looks like or otherwise, you should tell her gentely. Don't use some sterotypical cliche line of "It's not you, it's me" or "I just really want to be a friend" and leave it that. You should some what explain to her why. Such as, "I just want to be friends with you because I don't see us going anywhere. I do like you, but I don't like you in a way that will allow me to puruse our friendship and make it into a relationship." Make sure she understands that you still want to be her friend and that you still want to hang out with her.

    And you're not being shallow at all (except for the part where you're rating her. Could of just simply said not your type :p. My opinion anyway). I agree, that there should at least be some sort of physical attraction, whether it's a small or big one.

    Good luck, and tell us how it goes. :)
     
  6. Helmet

    Helmet New Member

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    yea heh.this is gonna be tough. ive been thinking about what to say, just hoping it doesnt come out wrong
     
  7. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    Just say what's on your mind. That you won't be able to pursue it as a relationship and just a friendship and that you would still love to talk to her and hang out with her. There's nothing wrong with that.

    G'luck to you again!
     
  8. Lokish

    Lokish New Member

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    To me, it just sounds like there is no physical chemistry...atleast not to persue a relationship. And I agree with some of the above posters telling you not to use the "let's just be friends" routine cause that always comes out sounding like a sad attempt at a brush off.

    Me, personally, when I start getting the impression a guy likes me, I like to set the record straight with them and let them know how I view the state of things. You would be surprised at how many people just like to know where they stand and if they are reading things into your actions or just being wishful. Just be honest with her and let her know that you think she is a very cool person but you don't feel the chemistry there that would allow you both to take it to a different level.
     
  9. level99

    level99 Guest

    if u have no physical attraction to her. then u are screwing yourself over in the long run
     

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